Wide Awake
by TwilightPrincess89
Summary: The war is over. Bellatrix has to come to terms with herself and her newfound freedom. But Narcissa has done something for Bellatrix that will surely piss her off...and what does Hermione have to do with it? Rated M for later chapters.Eventual Cissatrix. Bellamione.Lucissa... Does not follow a specific plot! R&R PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: I am attempting a Bellamione fanfic...go easy on me it's my first...So I heard "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry and it made me think instantly of Bellatrix. So I am trying something different. It's set after the war. Plot has changed, an doesnt follow a specific one. So no hating. eventual Bellamione and Cissatrix. Please read and review.

Bellatrix sat alone in her room staring out of the large window that looked over the gardens that covered the grounds of her sister's Manor. The war was over and the Dark Lord was dead. He was gone. She was no longer tied to him, her dark mark disappeared. That was conclusive proof that he was never going to return. The dark haired witch sighed and pulled her sleeve down; she no longer wanted to look at the unblemished skin of her forearm any longer.

Almost twenty years of servitude was a long time, and Bellatrix wasn't sure where she should go from here. She didn't have any friends. The only person she could count on was her baby sister Narcissa. And Narcissa as of late wasn't very pleased with Bellatrix. Ever since the final battle, the Wizarding world had been trying to get back its feet. And Bellatrix had rarely left her room since they arrived back at Malfoy Manor.

It had been almost two years.

She was snapped back out of her reverie by a knock on her door.

"Come in." She said.

The door opened and Narcissa walked in carrying a tea tray. She sat the tray down on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed staring at her older sister, barefoot and sitting with her knees to her chest on the window sill.

"I thought you might like some tea." Narcissa said breaking the silence.

"No thank you Cissy." Bellatrix said not looking at her sister.

Her voice was thick; Narcissa knew that she had been crying before she came in.

"Come one Bella. Please." Narcissa said.

"Cissy I went years…years barely eating anything…I don't think I will ever be the same." Bellatrix said, her voice was numb as she said this.

"But you have gained some weight back, and you're beautiful Bella…you have always been beautiful to me." Narcissa said softly.

She wasn't sure why she was trying to convince Bellatrix of anything, but she loved her sister and she hated to see this once strong and confident woman down and lost. It killed Narcissa inside after the war when she was taken away and questioned, but Bellatrix had helped during the war and she had done her time paying for her crime. But she wasn't out of the woods yet; she was scheduled for psychiatric counseling, and was required to attend it twice a week until the Psychologist determined whether or not she was stable enough to be out in society again. Not that Bellatrix Lestrange needed a job, she was filthy rich and she had no need of a job to support herself.

Narcissa couldn't stand this anymore. The silence was getting too much to bear and so she had to take things into her own hands. The blonde knew that Bellatrix would be furious, but she had no other alternative. This isolation wasnt good, she had already been isolated for so long that it didnt make sense that she needed to contiune to be isolated. But Narcissa supposed that this was a comfort to Bellatrix, the isolation in this room, since she spent fifteen years alone in Azkaban.

"I made that appointment for the counseling." Narcissa said after another short silence.

At this Bellatrix actually moved, getting to her feet so quick Narcissa jumped.

"You did what?" Bellatrix shrieked.

"Calm the fuck down Bella!" Narcissa said angrily.

Bellatrix advanced on her baby sister, a mad glint in her eyes, a look that Narcissa didn't like so much, because she knew what was happening next. The slap echoed across the room, Bellatrix's heavy ring cutting her face. Narcissa laid there, not moving, she was too in shock to move or say anything. Bellatrix didn't back away she stood her ground as Narcissa found the strength to stand and face her older sister.

"You will go, and if you don't…well you know where you will end up. So I suggest that you make yourself presentable because your appointment is in two hours." Narcissa said in a voice of deadly calm.

Bellatrix knew that she had crossed a line that she swore to herself that she would never cross again, but the anger and rage that pulsed through her was too much to handle. Hitting Narcissa set her back and she knew it. Before Bellatrix could say anything Narcissa had left the room leaving Bellatrix alone once more.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: So I tried to add some anger in here from Lucius. Please read and review!

Wide Awake: Chapter 2

"What the bloody hell happen to your face?" Lucius asked his wife as she walked back into their bedroom to shower and dress for Bellatrix's appointment.

"Nothing." Narcissa said as she stripped down to her underwear and walked back into the bathroom.

"Nothing my arse!" He said angrily as she advanced on his wife and turned her face upwards so he could look at it in the light.

Narcissa turned her face away and moved out of her husband's grip, moving further into the bathroom to start the shower.

"It's nothing Lucius; please don't make a big deal out this." Narcissa said coldly.

He didn't like this rare side of his wife. Her coldness to the subject of Bellatrix only made him angrier that the woman was still in his home. He didn't like the person Narcissa became around Bellatrix, and he was determined to talk his wife into making her go back to her own Manor.

"How many times has she hit you?" Lucius asked.

"What?" Narcissa asked taking off her bra.

"You heard me." He said crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"I can't answer that Lucius." Narcissa said resuming her undressing.

She climbed into the shower and began to lather up her body and wash her hair. He still didn't leave the bathroom; he was determined to get to the bottom of this.

"Cissa…I just don't like who you become around Bellatrix. She changes you, and not for the better." Lucius said.

Narcissa peeked her head out around the shower curtain to glare at her husband who didn't back away and stood his ground. He wasn't going to let her dismiss his opinion about her sister anymore.

"I know Lucius…I know what she does to me…But I can't just throw her out!" Narcissa said indignantly.

"Cissa it's not like she doesn't have her own house to go to! Or her own money!" Lucius shouted.

Narcissa rolled her eyes and closed the shower curtain.

"I know Lucius." Narcissa said talking over the spray of hot water.

"Then why do you allow her to stay here? It's been two years and she doesn't do anything but make you upset! I mean she stays out of the way and doesn't talk to myself or Draco, but I spent years watching you be upset over everything that was going on, and now that we are free, I don't see why she has to be here." Lucius said moving closer to the shower.

Narcissa rinsed and turned off the water, she took the towel Lucius handed her and wrapped it around her body and stepped out of the shower.

"She is here because I want her here. Lucius you spent time in Azkaban, you know what its like. Bella spent 15 years there…can you imagine? She is very different. She wasn't this way before she went in, I mean even you can agree on that…_He _made her that way…" Narcissa said.

Lucius said nothing at this. It was true, what she had said about Azkaban and Voldemort. He knew Bellatrix in school, she was a little ruthless and insensitive but she wasn't crazy and insane.

"Okay, so why is she here Cissa? Do you think she can't take care of herself?" Lucius asked seriously.

"It's not the Lucius…she is in a very vulnerable state…though she projects this air of confidence and independence, she is just as weak and vulnerable as the rest of us. I am not trying to protect her Lucius…I am trying to comfort her…let her know that I am still here for her." Narcissa replied finally drying off and changing into a pair of jeans and a blue button up shirt.

Lucius considered Narcissa's words for a few moments, he knew that she was only trying to help her sister, and her compassion was one of the things that had stolen his heart all those years ago, but his patience had limitations. And seeing that bruise on Narcissa's face just broke that patience.

"She won't be here forever, I know she hates it here, but I am keeping her here until I know that she is stable enough to be alone. I am hoping that this court ordered therapy will help her." Narcissa said waving her wand, instantly drying her long blonde hair.

"Let's hope. I want my wife back." He said softly.

"You haven't lost me Lu. I have just been busy, you know that I love you." Narcissa said moving to stand in front of him.

"I know." He said smiling.

They kissed, and Narcissa put on her shoes and picked up her purse.

"Are you going to cover that?" He asked gesturing to the gash on Narcissa's cheek.

"No, she needs to deal with things instead of suppressing them." Narcissa said quickly.

"Do you really think that is wise?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, no. Honestly I don't know how she will react. She will both ignore it and pretend that it never happened, or she will justify it and say that I deserved it, or she will be moody and agitated by the sight of it. She is still so unpredictable." Narcissa replied.

"Either way, you lose." Lucius said.

"Yes." Narcissa replied sighing.

"You better get going; you don't want to miss that appointment." He said.

Narcissa nodded and grabbed her blazer and left the room. Once downstairs she found Bellatrix waiting for her in the sitting room.

"Ready?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yes, let's go." Narcissa said opening the front door.

Bellatrix followed her to her car and climbing the front seat. She buckled herself and Narcissa started the car, turning on the radio.

"Why didn't you cover that?' Bellatrix asked looking sideways at her sister's bruised face.

Now that Bellatrix looked at it an hour and a half after the fact it looked ten times worse. She did feel slightly sorry, she knew that she shouldn't have hit Narcissa, but she couldn't control the anger that built inside of her. Narcissa was her only outlet now that she was staying with her and Bellatrix knew that she had to try and get better for Narcissa.

"I'm sorry." Bellatrix whispered.

"I know." Narcissa said.

She knew that Bellatrix was really torn up about it, but she wasn't going to admit it. Even though Bellatrix had apologized it still seemed like it didn't matter to her that she had actually hit Narcissa.

"I will go to this therapy thing Cissy. But I am only going for you." Bellatrix said as they pulled onto a side alley where the visitors' entrance to the Ministry of Magic stood waiting.

"Don't do it just for me, do it for you Bella." Narcissa said getting out of the car.

Bellatrix followed and Narcissa waved her wand, casting a disillusionment charm on her car before placing it back inside her jacket.

"I am scared Cissy…what if…what if this doesn't work? Am I to be forever mad?" Bellatrix asked.

That statement caused Narcissa to gasp a little. She had never heard Bellatrix open up and admit something like that. She supposed that the fear of actually once and for all confronting her crimes and insanity drove Bellatrix to confess that she was in all sense of the word scared shitless.

"You'll be fine Bella. You are strong. Just because you have some serious and deep rooted issues, doesn't mean that you can't have a normal life. You're not who you used to be, you have the chance to start over." Narcissa said taking her sister's hand.

"I don't know how you understand me so well." Bellatrix said, and she actually smiled at her baby sister who smiled back.

"I know you better than you think Bella. You have to give me more credit than that." Narcissa said.

"I know…Cissy I really am sorry about this." Bellatrix said cupping her sister's injured cheek.

"It looks worse than it feels." Narcissa said.

"Can I heal it?" Bellatrix asked.

"No, leave it to heal like it should. Bella it's time you start confronting your actions, and this is where it starts." Narcissa replied.

Bellatrix nodded and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on the bruised and angry gash. Narcissa flinched but recovered as she felt Bellatrix press her lips to hers. And she wasn't surprised to taste salt. Bellatrix was crying again.

"Let's go Bella." Narcissa said against her sister's lips.

She took Bellatrix's hand and they two women entered the Ministry of Magic.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Author's Note: I have been in therapy alot over the course of my life, so I know that it is a work in progress, but for the purpose of this story, I am speeding it along a little. Please read and review.

Wide Awake chapter 3

As the two women entered the Ministry of Magic, some people stopped to gawk and stare at them. It made Narcissa a little uneasy to know that they were all staring at Bellatrix, but no one said anything, it appeared that most people were still too afraid of her even if they knew she was powerless. Once their wands were checked in at the security desk a familiar woman with violently, violet hair met them at the lifts.

"Nymphadora." Narcissa said smiling.

Tonks didn't smile, but she extended her hand, Narcissa took it. She didn't even bother to acknowledge Bellatrix, which suited the raven haired witch just fine. They got into the lifts in silence and took it to the 3rd floor.

"I will wait out here. When you are finished we have some paperwork to fill out. So we will go to my office." Tonks said as they reached the door to the Psychiatric offices.

Bellatrix nodded and shot an apprehensive look at her baby sister who shook her head.

"You need to do this alone Bella. Don't worry. I will meet you out here when you are done." Narcissa said.

Bellatrix nodded, but Narcissa knew that she wasn't too comfortable about being on her own, but it was something that she had to do by herself. Bellatrix handed Narcissa her wand, she took it with a look of understanding and placed it in her purse with hers. Then Bellatrix placed her hand on the door handle and walked inside. The room was comfortably decorated and luckily it was empty. The woman at the reception desk smiled and Bellatrix walked over to her.

"Um…Hello…Luna." Bellatrix said looking at the woman's name tag.

Luna Lovegood smiled at Bellatrix, and she relaxed a little. Though she couldn't explain it, she knew this girl, had fought her in the War, almost killed her, but she could see the understanding in the wide eyes and she flushed slightly.

"Mrs. Lestrange, the counselor will see you now." She said serenely, her eyes bright.

"Thank you." Bellatrix said as she walked through another door and down a short hall way.

Hermione sat at her desk, hands shaking. She wasn't sure why she had agreed to take Bellatrix's case. The woman was a complete psychopath. She wasn't so sure if the War had really changed her views or if she was only doing this because she was ordered to. The thought of having the most dangerous Death Eater sitting right in front of her was daunting.

The door opened and Bellatrix Lestrange walked in, wearing her customary black velvet dress, and tight lace corset. Hermione noticed that Bellatrix was unarmed, unless she was hiding her wand in her generous cleavage which was straining against the tight corset, but it wasn't likely. Hermione knew Tonks wouldn't let her keep her wand if she thought that she was dangerous at the moment.

"Mrs. Lestrange, please have a seat." Hermione said calmly and evenly.

Her hands were shaking as she picked up her notepad and sat in one of the two chairs on the other side of her desk. Bellatrix sat and crossed her legs, looking confident and apprehensive at the same time. Her dark eyes sizing up the young woman across from her.

"Okay. Let's start. How are you this afternoon?" Hermione asked breaking the silence.

Bellatrix said nothing; she just sat staring at the young woman curiously.

"In order for this to work Mrs. Lestrange, I need verbal answers from you." Hermione said softly.

"Legilimency." Bellatrix snapped.

Hermione shook her head. Bellatrix's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I can't use that. I need you to tell me verbally, or else this whole thing is pointless." Hermione explained.

"In any case I don't believe I have the level of ability needed to use Legilimency on you." She added.

Bellatrix raised a perfectly sculpted, raven eyebrow. She smirked, dark eyes narrowed.

"I am rather…skilled at Occlumency. As well as Legilimency. And no, I will not hurt you, so you can stop worrying." Bellatrix said.

Hermione's eyes widened.

"You need to work on your Occlumency Counselor." Bellatrix said, the corners of her mouth twitching.

Hermione swallowed. She couldn't believe that she had let her defenses down like that and allowed Bellatrix Lestrange into her mind.

"Anything and everything that goes on in here is confidential right?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yes. I write my reports. I submit them to Tonks. She will decide the verdict. But I can…omit what you don't want me to report." Hermione replied.

Bellatrix didn't feel reassured by this and looked for the first time, very uncomfortable.

"Look, I just have to show the court that you are attending therapy and making progress. The details aren't important in court. But for the purposes of your treatment, I need to keep a record." Hermione explained.

Bellatrix nodded. Hermione looked at her watch.

"We have fifteen minutes left. Is there anything on your mind?" Hermione asked.

"More than you know." Bellatrix replied.

"It's better than having nothing I suppose." Hermione said.

"Why is Nymphadora my warden?" Bellatrix asked before she could stop herself.

"She is the best. We needed the best." Hermione replied.

"Because I was the best." Bellatrix said frowning.

"Well I think that it's better than having anyone else on the case. There is no way around that." Hermione said.

Bellatrix nodded in agreement.

"Does it bother you that your niece is involved in the case?" Hermione asked curiously.

She needed to be careful, this was a delicate situation. This was a small break through and Hermione was a little apprehensive about this, but took it as a sign.

"My niece." Bellatrix snorted.

"Well then what would you call her?" Hermione asked.

"The daughter of a blood traitor!" Bellatrix shouted getting to her feet.

Hermione jumped, and looked at Bellatrix terrified. Bellatrix was running her nails through her wild curls and was panting. Her eyes wide and wild. Hermione didn't much like the look in her eyes. She closed her eyes, and controlled her breathing, sitting back down across from Hermione who was shaking.

"I…Look…I don't talk about…_her_…" Bellatrix said after a few minutes.

"Maybe in the future that could be something we could talk about…completely off the record." Hermione said.

Bellatrix looked at the brunette, her expression unreadable.

"I will give it some thought." Bellatrix said finally.

Hermione looked at her watch and stood.

"We are out of time for today Mrs. Lestrange." Hermione said.

Bellatrix stood as well.

"If this time next week is good for you, then we can schedule it." Hermione said.

"It's good for me." Bellatrix shrugged.

"Good then I will see you next week." Hermione said extending her hand.

Bellatrix took it. Hermione could feel the powerful magic that was flowing through Bellatrix's body. Chills erupted up her body as she held the older witch's hand in hers. After a few seconds they let go of their hands and Bellatrix left the office. Hermione sat down at her desk, head in her hands, she cried.

"Let's go Cissy." Bellatrix snapped as she walked out into the waiting room.

Narcissa stood and exchanged a look with Tonks who rolled her eyes. They left the ward and went back to Tonk's office.

"There are just a few things I need you to sign." Tonks said as they sat down in front of her desk.

Bellatrix nodded and looked up at her niece. She looked just like Andromeda, but there was something there she couldn't place, and that was probably from her father, Bellatrix had never seen Ted.

"This is the form stating that you attended therapy." Tonks said putting the paper in front of Bellatrix and handing her a pen.

Bellatrix read over the paper quickly and signed it. Tonks handed her another piece of paper.

"This is for the bank. Stating that your husband is dead, and all his possessions are now yours. The Manor, the fortune, everything." Tonks said.

Bellatrix didn't read this one, but signed it quickly. Narcissa looked sideways at her sister; she never really saw Bellatrix and Rodolphus together, so she wasn't sure how her sister felt about all this.

"Well that is it." Tonks said.

"Why did it take so long for this? Why did it take so long for the bank to send me this?" Bellatrix asked.

"It's taken a while for the system to get back on its feet." Tonks replied.

Bellatrix nodded.

"See you next week Nymphadora." Narcissa said.

"Goodbye." Tonks said.

Narcissa took Bellatrix's arm, and the two women left the office.

"Okay what is with you?" Narcissa asked looking at her sister as they go into the car.

"What are you talking about?" Bellatrix replied.

"You, wanting to leave so fast, this isn't like you Bella. You were actually nice to Nymphadora." Narcissa replied.

"It's nothing Cissy, let's just go." Bellatrix said irritably.

Narcissa shrugged and started the engine.

"I'm not going to let this go Bella." Narcissa said pulling out onto the street.

"I know." Bellatrix said darkly.

They drove in silence back to Malfoy Manor.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: I want to thank all my awesome reviewers. Your words mean alot to me! I know the Muggle clothes and things can be a bit hard to deal with, but this is a changing time within the Wizarding world, but I will tone it down a little. There is Cissatrix in this chapter, I know this is a Bellamione fanfic and it will become so within the next few chapters. I dont want to rush this. And this very well may be one of the few Cissatrix scenes in here. So I do apologize if I have upset anyone by adding Cissatrix, but I have never really been able to keep the two apart, something I am working on. Please continue to read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 4

Bellatrix went straight to her room after their arrival back to Malfoy Manor. She didn't speak to anyone and she barely ate that night. Narcissa suspected that something had happened between the two during their session that afternoon. She didn't push the subject because she was finally hopeful that a break through was starting to be made with her sister, and therefore didn't feel guilty anymore that she had made that call.

"Bella staying in her room again?" Lucius asked his wife at dinner.

"Yes, she has had a long day." Narcissa said taking a sip of her wine.

"I don't see why she has to be here at all." Draco said putting down his knife and fork.

Narcissa put down her wine glass and glared at her son. She already got enough belittlement from her husband; she didn't need her methods questioned by her son as well. They had no idea how much help Bellatrix needed, and they didn't know that she was the only one who could get it on the right track.

"Bella is staying for as long as it takes, and you will learn to live with it or you can get out of this house Draco Scorpius Malfoy!" Narcissa said her voice quivering with anger.

Draco was taken aback by his mother's loss of control. He had never heard or seen her lose her temper. He sat there and glared at her.

"Bella is staying as long as it takes, and the two of you will learn to live with it. I am tired of trying to defend my choice, she is my sister, my family and I am going to help her until she no longer needs it." Narcissa said in a dangerous voice looking at the two men at the table.

She took her wine glass and left the room, snapping at the house elf to bring her more wine up to her study. Draco and Lucius stared at one another and finished their dinner in silence.

Narcissa sat in her study staring at the words on the page in front of her but not taking in a word of it. She had left dinner rather abruptly, but she had decided that she wasn't going to apologize for her loss on control. They had no idea what she was going through, what she had gone through with her sister. What was more, they never liked Bellatrix, and Narcissa had to constantly deal with the tension that was always present when Bellatrix and Lucius were in the room. Draco had only just recently met his aunt, she was in prison when he was growing up and Narcissa didn't talk about her much because the pain of the loss was still too great to overcome. She sighed and finished her wine. The day had been a long one and she walked back to her bedroom to change into a knee high, blue silk gown. She threw on her robe and padded across the house to Bellatrix's room. She knocked once and heard the summons to enter. She opened the door closing it behind her.

"I just came to say good night Bella." Narcissa said to her sister as she entered the room.

Bellatrix was in a black, silk nightgown, much like the one Narcissa was wearing; only it was much more low cut and had no lace. It had fallen half way up her thighs as she pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

"You didn't have to defend me Cissy." Bellatrix said breaking the short silence that had settled between them in the few minutes that Narcissa had been in the room.

Narcissa's brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her sister.

"I heard you." Bellatrix said flatly.

Narcissa still said nothing; she just continued to stare at her sister.

"I don't have to stay here if it displeases your family Cissy." Bellatrix continued.

"You're my sister Bella. Of course I will not abandon you." Narcissa said softly.

Bellatrix put her forehead to her knees and sighed.

"Cissy…I…this isn't easy for me." Bellatrix admitted.

"I know it isn't Bella, but I haven't always been there for you and now that I can be, I want to be." Narcissa said.

"You have always looked out for me, there is nothing I can say or do to thank you for what you have done for me." Bellatrix said.

Tears pooled in Narcissa's eyes at these words, Bellatrix never opened up like this before. Narcissa said nothing she just stared at her sister, silent.

"When I was in the room today, I thought that up until that point, everything I have done was set against me, that I would be forever damned and labeled for what I did all those years I was in the service of _him. _But…the Mudblood…she didn't look at me like I was some kind of monster…she looked at me like I was human…like I had feelings…" Bellatrix said her voice soft.

Narcissa stood there, tears streaming down her face at this point, wanting to go to her sister, to hold her, but she knew that Bellatrix needed to say this, that she needed Narcissa to understand.

"She was afraid at first…I had an outburst, but she didn't stay afraid…I mean meeting me can be rather…daunting, but she wasn't tense…and when we shook hands, I felt…for the first time like I didn't have to prove myself, like I was just like everyone else." Bellatrix continued.

"She is rather gifted." Narcissa agreed.

"I am glad that I am here Cissy, I am happy that you are here for me." Bellatrix said looking at her sister.

Narcissa was surprised to find tears in her sister's dark eyes.

"I want you here Bella. I have missed you." Narcissa said.

"I will stay a while longer Cissy, then it will be time for me to go back to my own house." Bellatrix said.

"Stay as long as you like Bella. I am not forcing you to stay, I know that you need to have your space, I just thought…that maybe I could have you here a while longer. I have missed you…what you used to be." Narcissa admitted.

"I know Cissy, and time hasn't been fair to either of us. But I will make it up to you." Bellatrix said getting to her feet and moving towards her sister.

Narcissa swallowed her sister was beautiful in the moonlight. Bellatrix stopped in front of her sister, Narcissa closed her eyes, taking in Bellatrix's sent. Narcissa felt Bellatrix's arms wrap around her waist and pull her close.

"I have missed you Cissy." Bellatrix whispered against Narcissa's lips.

Narcissa's head was spinning, having her sister so close but so far was too much to take. And before she knew it, Bellatrix had her on the bed and was kissing down her exposed neck. Narcissa was moaning and writhing beneath her, she loved this feeling of making her sister fall apart in her hands, and she knew that she was the only one who could do it.

"Bella…oh gods…Bella…" Narcissa moaned as Bellatrix kissed her clit, sucking on it hard.

Bellatrix smiled and added two fingers along with her tongue, pumping them in and out hard and fast. Narcissa was moaning and her legs began to shake, her body was trembling and then her eyes clamped shut. Her hips moving of their own accord as her orgasm ripped through her body. She clutched at Bellatrix's raven curls as another orgasm made its way down her body throwing her into the tendrils of bliss. Her back gracefully arching off the bed.

"Fuck Bella…shit…oh gods…Bella…Bella!" Narcissa moaned as a third orgasm exploded in her body.

Bellatrix continued to lick and suck at Narcissa's clit until she was sure Narcissa was sated. It had been far too long since they had felt this good. Bellatrix knew that Narcissa needed this and the closeness was something that they both craved. Narcissa fell back on the bed, breathing heavy, and sweating. Bellatrix kissed her passionately, swirling her tongue around Narcissa's dry mouth.

"Mmm…you taste good Cissy." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.

"I like the way…you taste as well Bella." Narcissa replied.

Bellatrix smiled, looking down into her sisters blue eyes.

"You look exhausted Cissy." Bellatrix said softly.

"I am." Narcissa agreed kissing Bellatrix again.

"We need to sleep Cissy." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.

"What about you?" Narcissa asked.

"You know me Cissy, I came while I was getting you off." Bellatrix said honestly.

Narcissa smiled, Bellatrix had always been the easiest to satisfy, even if she wasn't being touched.

"Okay, let's go to bed." Narcissa said.

"You'll stay with me?" Bellatrix asked her voice on the edge of something like panic.

"Of course Bella." Narcissa cooed stroking her face with her perfectly manicured nails.

Bellatrix smiled and curled up into her sister's arms, falling instantly asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: I added a couple of couples in here, so no hating on that. Of course I had Tonks and Remus survive the war, sorry about that, but my Harry Potter world doesnt exisit without Tonks in it. So here it is. Please read and Review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 5

Hermione arrived home late that night, exhausted and drained from her day at the office. When she agreed to take the case, she never imagined that when Bellatrix Lestrange's file landed on her desk that things would end up like this. As if the nightmares were not enough, she now had to face her torturer every week until she deemed her 'fit to dwell in society'. She thought about asking Tonks to assign someone else to her case, but then she realized that she might actually be able to help this woman. The One thing that she could remember thinking when she was beneath the dark witch at Malfoy Manor was that she pitied this woman. Though most would find that an insane idea, she knew that there was more to this woman than met the eye. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, she was beginning to get a head ache from all this thinking. Just then her phone rang.

"Hello?" Hermione said.

"Hey Mione." It was Harry's voice.

"Hey Harry, how is it going?" Hermione asked.

"You sound awful, you alright Mione?" He asked concerned.

"I'm just a little tired, and I feel a head ache coming on." Hermione replied.

"Oh well make sure you get a potion for that before it gets worse, we all know how bad your headaches can get." Harry said genuinely concerned.

"No worries Harry. So what's up?" Hermione asked reaching into her cabinet for a bottle of aspirin.

"I was just wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tomorrow? Ginny would have called but she is staying late at practice tonight." Harry asked.

"Is Ron going to be there?" Hermione asked.

"Yes of course Mione." Harry said with a hint of an eye roll.

"What time?" Hermione asked, she took the aspirin and sat down in one of the arm chairs in her living room.

"7pm sharp." Harry replied.

"I will be there. Do I need to bring anything? Wine perhaps?" Hermione suggested.

"Sure…and yourself of course. I know Ginny will be excited to see you." Harry said smiling.

"See you guys tomorrow." Hermione said.

"Bye Mione." Harry said.

Hermione hung up the phone and closed her eyes. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, seeing Ron wasn't going to make things easier, they had still not really gotten over one another, but she couldn't deal with a relationship right now. Ron was sweet, but he was still as dense as he had been in school, and Auror training hadn't done much to lessen that. She sighed and forced herself up the stairs and into her bedroom where she prepared for bed. She fell asleep almost instantly.

The next morning she awoke feeling slightly rested, her head ache was gone, but not the feeling in her chest where Bellatrix had settled. Seeing her yesterday after two years of nightmares and countless spells to hide the cut on her arm, brought up painful memories, memories that she wanted to forget. She shook her head and got ready for the day.

"Hey Mione, you okay?" Tonks asked walking into Hermione's office later that day.

"Yes, I am fine Tonks." Hermione replied looking up from the paper she was reading.

Tonks sat down in one of the chairs in front of her desk and surveyed the younger woman with concerned eyes.

"You know, you're a terrible liar." Tonks said smiling.

"I have been told." Hermione said flatly.

"Look I don't know what happened with Bellatrix, but I know that it shook you up, and I know that it wasn't easy seeing her yesterday. But you can't let it get to you Mione, you are stronger than this." Tonks said.

Hermione said nothing. She knew that Tonks was right. She had been through so much, seen so much, that she shouldn't let someone like Bellatrix bring her down. But the power that the older witch wielded over her was powerful, it was powerful then when she was being tortured, and it was just as powerful now. Eventually Hermione knew that she would have to forgive at some point, and if she was going to treat Bellatrix, she needed her mind unclouded and steady.

"You're right Tonks. I have been dealing with this in my own way, and I appreciate your concern, but I need to do this slowly. One wrong move could have disastrous consequences." Hermione said after a few minutes.

"I agree, but Mione, lets be real, as your friend I am concerned, and I know that you have to deal with this in your own way, but having your mind clouded…it can be…" Tonks trailed.

"I know Dora." Hermione said softly.

Tonks meant well but she couldn't keep the irritation out of her voice. Tonks raised her eyebrows shrugging.

"Look, I will see you at Harry's tonight, just try and keep your mind off of it." Tonks said standing.

Hermione nodded and Tonks left her office. Hermione sat back in her chair, closing her eyes. Tonks was right, but that wasn't the point, the point was she didn't want to talk about Bellatrix. She already knew that taking her case was going to be daunting, but she had never thought it would be so hard. She shook her head, ridding herself of the thoughts of Bellatrix. She looked at her watch, it was 5:30, she still had time to go home and take a shower before going over to Harry's.

An hour and a half later she arrived at Grimauld Place with the bottle of wine she had picked up on the way over. She knocked and waited.

"Hey Mione!" Harry said as he opened the door to let her pass.

"Hey Harry." Hermione said with a small smile hugging her best friend.

"It's great to see you." He said as they broke apart.

"You too, where is Ginny?" Hermione asked looking around.

"In the kitchen, come on." Harry said leading the way.

Hermione walked into the kitchen and saw Ginny standing at the stove stirring a pot of sauce.

"Hey Gin, Hermione is here." Harry said as they walked into the kitchen.

Ginny turned around and beamed at Hermione. There was something different about her, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Here Harry, take over." Ginny said handing Harry the spoon.

Harry took it and began to finish dinner. Hermione and Ginny left the kitchen, passing the sitting room where, Neville, Luna, Ron, Lavender, Remus, Tonks, and Dean were all sitting and laughing over drinks. Hermione smiled at them as Ginny ushered her up the stairs.

"Ginny, what is going on?" Hermione asked as she was led into hers and Harry's bedroom closing the door behind them.

"I wanted you to be the first to know Mione…you're my best friend and I didn't want to announce it without telling you first." Ginny said quickly.

"Slow down Gin…tell me what's going on." Hermione said, her voice laced with concern.

This was out of the ordinary for Ginny, she never really ever kept anything from Harry, but this was obviously something that she wanted said to her before him, it must be a surprise or something.

"Mione…I'm pregnant!" Ginny exclaimed.

Hermione was in shock. She had never expected this.

"Gin…that's wonderful!" Hermione said.

"Really?" Ginny asked.

"Yes Gin, it is great! But how come you told me first and not Harry?" Hermione asked.

"You're my best friend Mione, and I didn't want you to feel left out. I am going to announce it tonight at dinner, but I wanted to tell you first." Ginny replied.

Hermione's expression was unreadable, Ginny approached her friend put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing, I am happy for you really Gin, I am." Hermione replied.

"I am not talking about my news Hermione; I am talking about what is going on with you." Ginny said.

"There is nothing going with me." Hermione said quickly.

"You are a terrible liar." Ginny said softly.

Hermione said nothing she just broke down, Ginny wrapped her in her strong arms and held her as she cried.

"Oh Ginny…It's horrible." Hermione cried.

Ginny led Hermione to the large King sized bed and they sat down, Ginny continued to hold Hermione as she cried.

"What is it Mione?" Ginny asked.

"I…I am treating Bellatrix." Hermione replied.

Ginny stiffened, but continued to rock Hermione.

"Tonks mentioned something like that. She and Harry were going to take the case together, but Harry refused." Ginny said.

"I felt like…maybe I can change her. But I didn't know that it would affect me so much." Hermione said sitting up and facing Ginny.

"Well Mione, if anyone can help her, you can." Ginny said honestly.

Hermione wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve. Ginny ran her thumb over Hermione's tear stained cheek, wiping the tears away with a calloused thumb.

"I hope so. I mean Tonks came by to see me today, and she told me that I needed to forgive Bellatrix for what she did to me…in order to successfully treat her." Hermione said.

Ginny nodded and considered Hermione's words for a moment. Hermione had told her in length what had happened at Malfoy Manor, Ginny remembered the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as Hermione recounted the torture and fear she felt when Bellatrix had straddled her and carved those letters into her arm. But Ginny sensed that there was something more there than just fear, but a subconscious thought of desire and lust in those brown eyes. Ginny remembered how she talked about Bellatrix, there was fear, but there was desire as well.

"Well, she does have a point Mione." Ginny said after a few minutes.

"I know, that is what I am afraid of." Hermione said darkly.

"Look Mione, just keep on doing your job, don't let her get to you. I know the nightmares have slowed down and they haven't been as bad, but you need to find a way to deal with her." Ginny said.

"I know." Hermione said.

"Because if anyone can get though this, you can Mione." Ginny said squeezing Hermione's shoulders.

"Thank you Ginny. I'm sorry that I haven't been much of a friend lately." Hermione said.

"Oh don't be ridiculous Mione. We all get busy. You just focus on you and your job." Ginny said rubbing Hermione's back.

"Ginny, thank you." Hermione said.

"Anytime." Ginny said smiling.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Dinner is ready girls." Harry said through the door.

"Be right down." Ginny said.

"Come on, don't want to keep everyone waiting." Hermione said getting to her feet.

The two women left the room and joined their friends downstairs. Dinner went by with out incident. Everyone was excited about the news of Ginny and Harry having a baby, and Dean announced that he and Lavender were getting married. Everyone had a great time drinking and eating. Hermione forgot about her issues for a while. After a couple of hours everyone was saying their goodbyes and leaving the house.

"Hey Mione." Ron said as Hermione grabbed her coat.

"Yeah Ron." Hermione answered.

She had been sort of avoiding Ron during the party, she didn't want to bring up old emotions about their relationship.

"I was thinking, maybe we could go for coffee sometime soon." He said hopefully grinning at her.

"I don't think that is such a good idea Ron." Hermione replied.

Ron shrugged.

"It was worth a try." He said.

"I really am sorry Ron." She said placing a hand on his arm.

"Me too." He said.

Hermione said her goodbyes to Harry and Ginny and left the house. Once home she showered and dressed in a baseball shirt and sweat pants. She was tired with every fiber of her being, but she couldn't fall asleep. Ginny and Tonks's advice still ran through her head, maybe she really did need to forgive Bellatrix once and for all.

"Maybe that will be a topic for next session." Hermione said to herself.

She rolled over and fell asleep a few minutes later.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Stil applies.

Author's note: This chapter contains Lucissa! Sorry guys but I couldnt let Bellatrix have all the fun. No worried Bellamione is coming...pun fully intended. I added an argument in here between Bellatrix and Narcissa...Idk if it will make any sense...and it may seem weird that Bellatrix is opening up so quickly to Narcissa...but she is the only one that she trusts, so to me it makes sense. Thank you guys so much for the reviews, it really means alot. Though I have never really been able to write a story that is just one ship, I do appreciate the reviews. Please continue them!

Wide Awake: Chapter 6

"You spent the night with Bellatrix." Lucius said the next morning as Narcissa walked back into their bedroom.

"Yes I did. Do you have some objection?" She asked flatly walking into the bathroom.

"No I just missed you last night." He replied softly.

Narcissa smiled at him. He knew about her intimate relationship with Bellatrix. But he never questioned his wife's loyalties. He knew that she would never leave him. And she had been supportive about his occasional mistresses through out their marriage. But sometimes he wished that she would take someone other than Bellatrix. Sometimes the jealously was an ugly color on him.

"I love you Lucius. You know that." She said walking back into the bedroom and straddling his hips.

"Yes, Cissa I know. I never question your heart. Because I know that a woman's heart is something that should be handled with care, one wrong move, and it is forever closed." He said.

She smiled; he said the most romantic things sometimes. She leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"Mmmm I can tell that you missed me a great deal." She said against his lips.

His manhood was at full attention between her legs, she could feel it pressing against her heat. Which had been treated with care last night, but Narcissa felt that Bellatrix wasn't really into it as much as she should have been.

"You don't know what you do to me Cissa." He said huskily kissing the skin of her exposed neck.

"Nor do you." She agreed in a moan as his lips caused goose bumps to rise on her heated skin.

Narcissa moaned as Lucius gently squeezed a silk covered breast, pinching an erect nipple between his thumb and forefinger. His other hand holding the small of her back, holding her against his bare chest.

"Lucius…" Narcissa whispered.

"Yeah Cissa?" Lucius asked.

"Take me…" Narcissa replied.

Lucius lifted Narcissa and flipped her around so she was lying on her stomach; she rose up on her hands and knees, opening her legs, giving Lucius a tempting view of her slick womanhood. She moaned as he gently slapped her ass, mounting her, his manhood pressing against her opening.

"Please Lucius…please….take me…" Narcissa pleaded.

Lucius smirked; he loved it when she begged him to take her. He loved it when he was in control of her, making her completely come undone in his hands. Without any further hesitation he pushed into her slowly, teasingly. Narcissa gasped as his impressive length filled her up, moaning as he set a pace thrusting in and out of her. He groaned as her walls clenched to accommodate his length, squeezing him gently.

"Cissa…you're so tight." He said gripping her hips firmly.

Narcissa moaned, moving her hips back, meeting him thrust for thrust. He lifted her night gown up her back, leaning down to kiss the porcelain skin of his wife's back. She shivered as his lips touched her heated skin. She moaned as his thrusts grew deeper and more urgent.

"Mmmm fuck Lucius…yes…fuck me…" Narcissa urged in a throaty whisper.

He obliged, unable to deny a request from his wife, he thrust into her hard. She moaned loudly as his length caressed her g-spot.

"Yes…Lucius…fuck…yes…oh yes!" Narcissa moaned loudly as he pushed deeper.

Bellatrix stood outside the door, feeling slightly hurt that her baby sister went straight back to her husband after their own night of love making. Bellatrix knew that her heart had not been entirely in it, but it still didn't stave off the hurt feeling in her chest as she listened to Narcissa's moans of pleasure. She opened the door a crack and was disgusted by what she saw, Narcissa on her hands and knees her long blonde hair cascading down and round her face while that man was behind her, grunting and rooting inside of her like she was a common whore. Though Bellatrix had to admit that her baby sister still looked beautiful in the tendrils of bliss, even if she was letting him fuck her like that. Unable to watch any longer Bellatrix closed the door and padded back to her room closing the door behind her.

"Fuck Cissa…I am so…close…" Lucius groaned as he thrust deeper and more urgent inside of her.

"Yes…Lucius cum for me…" Narcissa encouraged huskily.

She moved one of her hands between her legs and stroked her clit as she felt her orgasm rip through her body. Her hips bucking of their own accord back into Lucius, continuing to meet him thrust for thrust.

"Yes…Lucius! Lucius…I'm cumming…Yes…cum for me…" Narcissa moaned loudly as a second orgasm ripped though her body.

She shivered and he gripped her hips tightly, thrusting into her hard, forcing her to brace herself with both arms as his orgasm spilled inside of her, flooding her with warm, sticky fluid.

"Yes…Cissa…" He groaned as his thrusts slowed.

After a few minutes he pulled out of her, falling on the bed beside her. He smiled at her glowing face, kissing her sweaty forehead.

"I love you Cissa." He said.

"I love you too Lu." She replied smiling weakly.

"You should sleep, get a nap in before lunch." He suggested.

"Do you work today?" She asked.

"I do, I have to go through all the bank records and re file them, without magic." He said scowling a little.

"Sounds like detention." She said.

"Yes well, it could be worse. I could be in Azkaban." He said sitting up.

"Yes, true. Well you had better get going." She said.

"Shower with me?' He asked.

"Of course." Narcissa said.

He offered her is hand, and they both went into the bathroom and took a shower.

Bellatrix lay in her bed, seething with anger. Of course Narcissa would have sex with Lucius, he was her husband after all, but it felt like a slap in the face. Perhaps Narcissa hadn't really given it a second thought, after all Bellatrix didn't wholly expect her sister to stop her life just because she was there. Narcissa had already done so much for her, and she hadn't really said thank you. Though she felt like she didn't have to say thank you that Narcissa knew how thankful she was. But slapping her baby sister was a set back. She was angry and hurt that Narcissa had gone behind her back and done that, and now she was confused about Hermione.

Bellatrix Lestrange didn't do confusion very well.

She sighed, rolling over to face her large window. It was starting to snow. She always loved the snow. That was one of the things that she missed the most while she was in Azkaban, apart from Narcissa.

"I need to go back to my own home. But I can't abandon Narcissa." Bellatrix whispered to herself.

She hugged her pillow tighter, trying to suppress the tears that were stinging her eyes. The emptiness in her chest was becoming too overwhelming to handle. Her life had gotten so out of control and she was struggling to recover what she had left. She wasn't used to being free and making her own decisions. She sighed again and rolled over, trying to fall asleep.

A few hours later she awoke to find a warm pot of tea sitting on her bedside table with Narcissa sitting in one of the chairs across from her bed, smiling at her. Bellatrix sat up and rubbed her eyes, glancing at the clock.

"Have I missed dinner?" Bellatrix asked her voice thick with sleep.

"Yes, but I can have Midas bring you up something if you are hungry." Narcissa replied closing her book.

"No Cissy its fine, don't make a fuss." Bellatrix said dismissively.

Narcissa's eyebrows furrowed in concern. Bellatrix was agitated, and that was never a good sign.

"Are you alright Bella?" Narcissa asked.

"Fine Cissy." Bellatrix snapped.

"No you're not. I have done something to upset you haven't I?" Narcissa asked.

"Come along have you?" Bellatrix said curtly turning to glare at her sister.

"Well get on with it Bella." Narcissa said coolly.

She wasn't going to let Bellatrix bully her anymore.

"You…last night…was I not good enough?" Bellatrix asked softly.

Narcissa was taken aback by the question, but more importantly, the softness and vulnerability in her older sister's voice.

"Bella…you have always satisfied me." Narcissa replied.

Bellatrix snorted in disbelief.

"Is that what this is about?" Narcissa asked getting up and moving to sit beside her sister.

But Bellatrix got up off the bed, and paced the room, not wanting to be close to her sister. She was manic, her long nails clutching at her dark, wild curls, her breathing shallow and rapid.

"No Cissy! This is about you getting on your hands and knees like some sodding prostitute! Letting that pathetic excuse for a man fuck you like you are less than a goddess!" Bellatrix said angrily advancing on her sister.

Narcissa moved away from Bellatrix, her eyes darkening.

"Don't you insult my husband Bellatrix!" Narcissa hissed angrily.

Bellatrix stopped pacing and glared at her baby sister.

"We took you in. Well really I took you in, and he doesn't say a word to you or even look at you. You should be grateful for this!" Narcissa said.

"I never asked for this Cissy! I never wanted any of this!" Bellatrix shrieked.

"So in other words, you don't want to be around me anymore? You want to leave and go back to your own Manor and prowl your own dark and empty hallways?! Miss my company in your bed?! Hire whores to lick your cunt while you lay there and wish that it was me who was making you cum like the sodding whore that you are?! Who are you to tell me how to live my life, who are you to tell me that I can't fuck my husband any way that I want?!" Narcissa said getting to her feet and advancing on her sister.

Bellatrix actually backed away this time, afraid of what Narcissa was going to do.

"And last night you weren't even in it! You were eating me like I was everything to you, but you didn't let me touch you! You didn't let me make you feel good; you have never dismissed me like that! And you expect me to believe that you got off while eating me out?! Even I know that it isn't all that easy." Narcissa continued.

Bellatrix said nothing, she just stayed rooted to the spot, crossing her arms in anger, her mind was blank. She didn't know what to say. But it was the truth. She wasn't in it last night. She wasn't all there because she was confused. Confused about how she felt about her life now, and especially how she was feeling for the Mudblood.

"Do you want to end up back in Azkaban?" Narcissa asked completely throwing her sister off guard.

"What?" Bellatrix asked.

"This isn't about me fucking Lucius; this is about me making the call to Granger." Narcissa said her voice calm once more.

Bellatrix said nothing, so Narcissa went on.

"You are used to being in control. You are so used to taking charge that one little bit of your life that isn't controlled by you, makes you insane. You even controlled my life for fuck's sake! "Narcissa said heatedly.

"I did it to protect you Cissy." Bellatrix said softly.

"That's not the point Bella. The point is that you are scared. Scared of what that girl does to you. I could see it when you were torturing her. There was something there that I had never seen before, not since we were children." Narcissa said.

"Oh yeah, and what was that?" Bellatrix asked.

"Life." Narcissa said simply.

Bellatrix uncrossed her arms and looked at her baby sister defeated.

"You ...ever since Azkaban, you have changed Bella…you were insane…changed, feral like some wild animal. I was afraid of you Bella, afraid that if I did or said something wrong, that I would end up like Sirius." Narcissa said.

"Cissy, I would never…I could never take your life." Bellatrix said.

"I wasn't so sure back then Bella." Narcissa said honestly.

A wave of nausea settled itself in Bellatrix's stomach. Her own sister, her own flesh and blood was terrified of being murdered by her. The thought was unbearable to Bellatrix; she could never have done that. But Narcissa had a point, there were times when she felt unstoppable, that she would go too far one day and really do some serious damage. It did not feel good to kill Sirius. She only aimed to please, and though the act made her sick, the thought of her master's approval drove everything else out of her mind.

"Bella?" Narcissa said tentatively snapping Bellatrix out of her musings.

"Cissy…I'm sorry…" Bellatrix said her voice laced with tears.

"There is no need to apologize Bella. I understand. Well not entirely, but enough to know that it wasn't your fault." Narcissa said.

"I knew I was different, but Cissy…I wanted _him _to want me…want me like he used to…I was his most loyal…most faithful…but after the fiasco at the Ministry, he lost faith in my abilities…he didn't want me anymore. That hurt me…for the first time I knew what betrayal felt like." Bellatrix admitted.

"You need to tell Ms. Granger all of this…if you intend to form some sort of relationship with her. It's obvious Bella that she had opened you up somehow. Otherwise you would not be telling me this." Narcissa said.

Bellatrix shrugged.

"I have kept many things from you Cissy." Bellatrix said finally.

"I know. Now you have something to look forward to in your sessions with Ms. Granger." Narcissa said walking towards the door.

"Where are you going Cissy?" Bellatrix asked.

"You need some time alone. I know that may not be the best solution for you, but right now I can tell that you need it. I will see you in the morning Bella." Narcissa said.

Bellatrix sighed and Narcissa closed the door behind her leaving Bellatrix to her thoughts. After a few minutes of kicking herself for letting her emotions come out like that, she climbed back into bed and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: This may seemed rushed...but I can't drag the story out forever, I know you guys are expecting some Bellamione...so in order for that to happen I have to rush it slightly. Though Bellatrix still has issues...of course. So read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 7

The next week rolled around and Hermione was not looking forward to seeing Bellatrix again. Ginny had been supportive of her decision not to forgive Bellatrix right away, though Hermione could tell that it was a disappointment. The nightmares had not subsided, in fact they had intensified since their session last week, and she had barely got any sleep. Once dressed in a pair of slacks and blouse, she grabbed her coat and briefcase and set out for the Ministry of Magic.

"Hey Mione!" Harry said greeting her as they met at the lifts.

"Hey Harry. How are you? How is Ginny?" Hermione asked.

"Good and good. It was great to see you last week." He said beaming at her.

"Yeah it was good to see everyone." Hermione agreed.

The lift opened and they both got in, hitting their respective buttons.

"Ron says that he asked you for coffee." Harry said casually.

"Yes, he did. But I respectfully declined." Hermione replied.

"He was pretty broken up you know, after you ended it." Harry said.

"Look Harry, I understand that he is unhappy and that he is pissed that I ended it with him, but Harry…I'm gay." Hermione said.

Harry looked at her simply dumbfounded. Hermione sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, the day had barely started and she already had a head ache.

"Well at least its out in the open." Harry said after a few minutes.

"I am not so sure that it's a good thing." Hermione said agitated.

"No Mione, I am glad that you told me. It takes a lot of courage to admit something like that." He said genuinely smiling at his best friend.

Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Ron will be devastated." Harry said finally.

"Yes he will." Hermione agreed.

"But if he really loves you, he will accept you for it." Harry said.

"One can only hope." Hermione said shortly.

The lift came to a halt.

"Well this is my floor. See you later Mione." Harry said getting out of the lift.

Hermione nodded and the lift took off again. Once in her office, she greeted Luna with a smile and took the messages Luna had handed her.

"We really need a receptionist." Hermione said looking through the messages that Luna had just handed her.

"Yes we do, between my patients and yours; this is becoming a bit too much." Luna agreed.

"So you're seeing Bellatrix again today." Luna said.

"Yes, I am." Hermione replied.

"How have you been Hermione?" Luna asked.

"Okay…a bit distracted." Hermione admitted.

"I can see why…I heard Hermione…when she had you…" Luna said letting the last word trail.

"I know it could not have been easy to endure. Hearing someone being tortured." Hermione said.

"It wasn't." Luna agreed.

"Well if that's all, I need to get ready." Hermione said turning towards her office.

"Yeah that's it." Luna said.

Hermione went into her office, and closed the door behind her. She sat down at her desk and pulled out her note pad, she wasn't surprised to find that it was blank. She and Bellatrix hadn't really had a conversation pertaining to the matters at hand. Today was going to be different. Hermione had no idea where to start with Bellatrix. Just then there was a knock at her door, and Bellatrix walked in. Hermione smiled up at her, and a small smile crossed Bellatrix's face. She took off her heavy, black traveling cloak and placed it on the coat rack by the door. She took her seat in front of the desk just like last time.

"Afternoon Mrs. Lestrange." Hermione said coming to sit across from Bellatrix, notepad on her knees.

"Afternoon Ms. Granger." Bellatrix said crossing her legs and staring apprehensively at Hermione.

"I thought we could start with your sister today. Since that seemed to be an area of bother for you last time." Hermione said.

Bellatrix shrugged.

"If that is what you wish." Bellatrix said.

"Its not up to me. But it seemed to bother you so much. It is important." Hermione said softly.

Bellatrix surveyed her imperiously through those dark eyes. Hermione swallowed and she started to tremble.

"Very well, as you know my family is from a long line of noble pure blood families. And to marry someone who is less than that, well it is a crime." Bellatrix said.

"It made you angry that Andromeda did that?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix winced at the sound of Andromeda's name. Hermione was shocked to say the least. She began making notes on her paper. Bellatrix looked a little warily at the paper, but Hermione smiled encouragingly at her.

"I was furious. She betrayed everything that I stood for. What our family stood for. She betrayed our parents. Most of all…she betrayed me." Bellatrix said.

Hermione made a few more notes, but encouraged Bellatrix to continue.

"I wanted to kill her for what she did. But Cissy…she forgave her for what she did, though she would never admit it, she still loved our sister." Bellatrix continued.

"Is that why you joined the Death Eaters?" Hermione asked bluntly.

"Yes." Bellatrix replied simply.

Hermione made another note on her note pad. She looked up at Bellatrix whose eyes were fixed on the notepad.

"If it bothers you, I will stop." Hermione said.

"No, don't." Bellatrix said dismissively.

Hermione nodded and waited for Bellatrix to continue.

"I joined because I believed in the cause. Pure Bloods were royalty and they should be treated as such, those who were of Muggle decent and Half Blood decent were not worthy to lick the dirt from my boots." Bellatrix said passionately.

"It must have made you angry that so many Muggle born witches and wizards did not share that same philosophy. " Hermione said.

"It mattered not what they thought. What mattered was they were going to die if they did not bow down to the rightful leaders of the Magical community." Bellatrix said.

"So it didn't matter if they agreed or disagreed, they were marked for death simply because they didn't have pure blood?" Hermione asked.

"Yes." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione made some more notes on her pad, this time they were a little more lengthy than normal.

"And now? Do you feel that way still?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix said nothing for a long time; she just continued to stare at Hermione with her dark onyx eyes. Hermione didn't back down this time, she stared back.

"My experience in the war taught me that even those of non Pure Blood decent can be just as powerful." Bellatrix admitted.

Hermione wrote this down with a smile on her face.

"You are an exceptionally gifted witch Ms. Granger." Bellatrix said after a few minutes of silence.

"Thank you, I guess." Hermione said unable to believe that she had just been given a compliment by this woman.

"Much like myself really. You know _he _was almost convinced to have you join our side during the war…but decided against it." Bellatrix said.

"I would have never joined you." Hermione hissed.

Bellatrix smiled, this time showing her dazzlingly straight, white teeth.

"No, I suppose you wouldn't have. You are much too noble for that." Bellatrix said picking a piece of lint off of her black, velvet skirt.

"Why did you help us during the war? You were so keen on killing us, killing everything that we stood for, what made you change?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix considered Hermione's question for a moment, searching for the right words to say. She didn't want to admit everything so quickly, but Narcissa was right, she had to tell Hermione everything that she was feeling, everything that was on her mind, it was the only way to be free.

"_He_ betrayed me." Bellatrix said.

"Voldemort?" Hermione asked.

"Do not speak his name!" Bellatrix shrieked getting to her feet and glaring at Hermione.

This time Hermione did not flinch, she just stared at the panting witch in front of her. The color was high in her cheeks and she was panting heavily. Hermione couldn't help but admire what she saw and her eyes started to dangerously drift to the exposed skin of Bellatrix's chest, across her neck to where the runic Azkaban tattoo was still inked into her skin. Bellatrix didn't seem to notice the blush that had crept over Hermione's cheeks, but sat down all the same and faced the younger witch.

"Sorry." Bellatrix muttered not meeting Hermione's gaze.

"It's quite alright. Shall we continue?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix nodded in agreement and ran her nails through her unruly curls. Hermione remembered what her hair had smelled like on the occasion that she was pinned beneath the older witch. Sage and wood smoke.

"What did he do that was so bad to force you to betray him?" Hermione asked.

"He…we…made love…well I thought that is what it was…after I climaxed he…he said that he didn't love me…that he needed me to be ruthless a little longer and serve him that way…that he no longer needed the flesh to be satisfied." Bellatrix said before she could stop herself.

She clapped a hand over her mouth and she stared wide eyes at Hermione who had paused in her writing. Hermione couldn't believe that she had gotten to the root of the problem so quickly. This was a major break through. Bellatrix was surprised to find that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"And he lied…about his blood status." Bellatrix said softly.

"You discovered that he was a Half Blood." Hermione said.

"Though he is the heir of Salazar Slytherin, that didn't matter…, he was still not pure." Bellatrix said in a low voice.

"You discovered that you were no better than your Blood Traitor sister, Andromeda." Hermione said bluntly before she could stop herself.

Bellatrix continued as through she had not heard Hermione's comment.

"All I wanted was to be accepted. To be liked and respected. I thought that by joining this cause that I would finally get what I rightfully deserved. But I realized after a while that…towards the end, that this was all a joke. That I no longer wanted to run, I no longer wanted to fight. I no longer wanted to see my baby sister suffer anymore loss. Everything had been taken from her…everything for my cause and I didn't protect her…I couldn't protect her from _him_." Bellatrix said her voice suddenly cold and distant.

Her dark eyes were staring at a point that Hermione could not see. But she continued to make notes, completely enthralled by what Bellatrix was telling her, praying that this momentum would continue in future sessions.

"She suffered many horrific things…a couple at my own hands…but she still loved me, still accepted me. I wanted that from _him_ and for a while I had it…but like I said…that all went away after he told me that." Bellatrix said.

"Narcissa forgave you Bellatrix. She realized that you didn't mean those things… that you were only doing what was expected of you." Hermione said.

Bellatrix sniffed, and Hermione was shocked to see that there were tears in those dark eyes. But they did not fall; Bellatrix seemed to be holding them back. Hermione glanced at her watch.

"We are out of time for today." Hermione said softly.

Hermione handed Bellatrix a tissue, and she took it with a small word of thanks. They sat in silence for a few more minutes.

"We have made a major break through today Mrs. Lestrange." Hermione said breaking the silence.

"Bellatrix." Bellatrix corrected.

Hermione looked at her perplexed.

"Call me Bellatrix." Bellatrix said in response to Hermione's questioning look.

"Hermione." Hermione said.

She earned a rare smile from the older witch. She stood and Bellatrix followed. They shook hands again.

"Same time next week?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yes, same time next week." Hermione replied.

They let go of one another.

"I will see you." Bellatrix said putting her cloak on over her shoulders and fastening the silver broach at the throat.

"See you." Hermione said.

Bellatrix walked towards the door and left the room. She walked to Tonks's office and signed the papers without a complaint and then left the Ministry of Magic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bellatrix arrived back at Malfoy Manor and walked straight to Narcissa's study. Narcissa looked up curiously as Bellatrix walked into the room, disposing herself of her traveling cloak as she advanced on her sister.

"Where have you been?" Narcissa asked standing to greet her sister who placed a kiss on each of Narcissa's cheek before sitting her back down in her chair.

"I was with Counselor Granger." Bellatrix replied.

Narcissa smiled at her sister, she seemed to be in a better mood. She had never seen her sister in a better mood than she was now.

"Ah, how did it go?" Narcissa asked trying to contain her smile.

"I think it went rather well." Bellatrix replied.

"That is wonderful news Bella." Narcissa said this time beaming at her sister.

"It is…I listened to what you said. I told her." Bellatrix said positively quivering with excitement.

She was rather like a child who had just faced an obsticle and surmounted with success. Narcissa just continued to beam at her sister.

"This is cause for a celebration." Narcissa said cheerfully.

Bellatrix waved her wand and two glasses and a bottle of blood red wine appeared. Bellatrix poured each of them a glass and handed one to her sister.

"To a new life." Narcissa said raising her glass.

Bellatrix raised her glass and drained it, refilling their glasses.

"I am exhausted." Bellatrix said taking another drink.

"You look exhausted. Come, I shall get you some stew and you can go straight to bed." Narcissa said taking her sister's hand.

Bellatrix smiled.

The two women left the study. Once Narcissa had put Bellatrix to bed, she retired to her own bedroom and sat down by her window sill. Seeing Bellatrix happy was something that Narcissa thought she would never see anytime soon, but this court ordered therapy seemed to be working faster than she thought. She supposed that it had something to do with Hermione. The young woman must have some sort of gift that made Bellatrix feel at ease, because even she couldn't get Bellatrix to open up like she had been. She sighed, and changed into her night clothes, climbing into bed. Lucius wasn't due back until late, so she snuggled into his pillow and feel fast asleep.

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: I am expecting some up roar from this chapter...Hermione is Muggle born...so to me it makes sense that she has everyday Muggle items in her home, and that she doesnt use magic for everything that she does. Narcissa is in Muggle clothes in this chapter. And I do not own the song either. Please continue to read a review.

Song: Unbroken-Demi Lovato...I do not own it. But it is a good song, I thought it sort of fit with what Hermione is really feeling on the inside about Bellatrix.

Wide Awake: Chapter 8

Hermione sat on her bed staring at the wall. She couldn't shake the thought of Bellatrix from her mind this time. Today had been a major break through and she was stunned to see that the older witch had actually opened up to her about Voldemort. Though Hermione already knew that he wasn't a Pure Blood, Bellatrix had been in the dark for quite a while, or maybe she wasn't, but refused to believe that it was actually true. In any case the information that she had given Hermione was a break through.

Hermione sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose; her head was starting to pound again. She was angry with herself for allowing her mind to drift to erotic thoughts about her new charge. She had felt them long ago when she was being tortured, but she never wanted to admit that she had those kinds of thoughts about Bellatrix. And finally admitting to Harry that she way gay was…well it was enough for one day. She changed out of her work clothes into sweat pants and a tank top, brushing her teeth before climbing into bed.

The next morning Hermione awoke with a start. Her body was drenched in sweat and the area between her legs was burning. She burst into tears.

"Not another one!" She yelled to her empty room.

Another wet dream about Bellatrix. She was sure that it was going to be the death of her. It was ridiculous; surely she wasn't this attracted to the older witch. It had to be something boarding on Stockholm syndrome. She had almost hugged Bellatrix during their last secession, and was almost willing to fuck her senseless on her desk. Deciding that today should be a magic free day, and since it was her day off, she got out of bed and jumped into the shower, then after a quick breakfast of a banana and a glass of water she changed into work out pants and a tank top.

"I will go for a run. Hopefully that will help with this frustration!" She thought as she laced up her running shoes and picked up her ipod.

She threw on a hoodie, put her long hair up in a pony tail, then set her ipod on her workout playlist and took off down the street.

Bellatrix rolled over in her bed; she hadn't slept well that night. Her groin was burning and her wrist and hand were aching.

She wasn't able to orgasm last night.

Bellatrix sighed in frustration. She had half a mind to make Narcissa take polyjuice potion and be done with it, but thought that by making her sister into the object of her nightly fuck off sessions was boarding on insane. Plus she knew that Narcissa would never go along with it. She groaned and got out of bed. She figured she would just have a cup of tea before going for a long walk in the snow.

"You look like hell." Narcissa said as Bellatrix walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning to you too Cissy." Bellatrix snapped pouring herself a cup of tea.

Narcissa's eyes narrowed, she studied her sister, intent on figuring out what had gotten into her this past week.

"I'm not going to tell you what is going on with me, SO DROP IT!" Bellatrix shouted.

Narcissa was taken aback, she knew that her sister was powerful, but she had no idea that Bellatrix could perform wandless Legilimency.

"I'm sorry Bella." Narcissa said quietly.

"Save it Narcissa, I don't want to hear it." Bellatrix said finishing her tea and leaving the room.

Narcissa sat there seething, she couldn't believe Bellatrix! Narcissa was determined to get to the bottom of this once and for all; she went upstairs and dressed in muggle clothes. She put her long blonde hair in a low ponytail, put on her boots and grabbed her pea coat. If she was lucky Hermione would be home and she would be able to get to the bottom of this. She stood outside the magical barrier surrounding her estate and thought:

Hermione Granger.

Hermione continued to run. The music pulsing through her as her feet hit the cold pavement, the air was freezing, cutting her lungs like shards of broken glass, but she didn't slow down. She kept going, pushing herself. The run wasn't working so far. Nothing she was doing was driving Bellatrix from her mind. Not even taking one of Fred and George's day dream potions was working. After two hours, she returned home.

Narcissa had knocked, but here was no answer. Narcissa was about to give up when she heard running foot steps and a very beautiful voice coming near to her.

"_I'm gonna love you like I've never been broken, I'm gonna say it like it's never been spoken .Tonight, tonight I'm letting go. I'm gonna give it like it's never been taken, I'm gonna fall like I don't need saving. Tonight, tonight, I'm letting go"_

Hermione continued to sing and run, Narcissa's eyebrows rose in surprise, she hadn't expected the young woman to be a beautiful singer. And the song she was singing…Narcissa found it ironic to the circumstances. As Hermione reached her flat she stopped and stared open mouthed at the woman on her door step. Not only was she Narcissa Malfoy, but she was also in Muggle clothing, Hermione looked around and saw no new cars in the street and figured that Narcissa had Apparated directly onto her doorstep.

"Mrs. Malfoy, what an unexpected surprise." Hermione said as she walked up to her front step, taking out her ear phones.

"The same to you." Narcissa replied giving Hermione a weak smile.

"Why don't we go inside and get out of this cold." Hermione suggested.

Narcissa nodded and stepped aside so Hermione could unlock her front door.

"Would you like some tea? Or coffee?" Hermione asked as they walking into the entrance hall way.

"Tea thank you." Narcissa said as Hermione took her coat and put it on a hook by the front door.

Narcissa stood awkwardly in the entry way, surveying the tiny flat imperiously. It was clean and neat; there were very few Wizarding things apart from the wizard photographs that were on the walls.

"Well at least the girl isn't a slob." Narcissa thought to herself as she continued to look around the small apartment.

"Please make your self comfortable." Hermione said from the kitchen.

Narcissa moved from her position in the entry way and into the small living room, she sat down on the sofa and continued to look around. Then something caught her eye. The photograph was bright and pushed towards the front of all the other pictures. She stood walked over to the mantle piece and held the photograph in her hands.

She saw her sister looking back at her.

Andromeda had looked the same as she had the day she left the family. Except her hair was darker and her eyes showed her age. In her arms was a small boy with bright turquoise hair, and another woman who Narcissa recognized as Nymphadora.

"Tonks sent that to me a couple of days ago. Teddy is getting so big." Hermione said walking into the living room holding a tray with two cups of tea.

Narcissa placed the picture back on the mantle and sat back down on the sofa. Hermione handed her a cup of tea and sat in the chair opposite the sofa.

"I haven't seen him yet." Narcissa said breaking the silence.

Hermione sipped her tea, unsure of what to say. Andromeda hadn't made an effort to reach out to her sisters. Tonks had explained that her mother wasn't too keen on making amends with Bellatrix, but Narcissa was a different story. A story Tonks didn't know about, and Hermione was afraid to ask anything more on the subject.

"Tonks mentioned something like that. But I didn't get into it. It isn't any of my business." Hermione said.

"Well now that you are treating Bella, I am sure that it will come up at some point, which is why I am here." Narcissa said dropping all pretence, catching the younger witch off guard.

Hermione put down her tea and looked at Narcissa seriously.

"I can't discuss the nature of my conversations with Bellatrix. Nor can I disclose any of the information she has told me." Hermione said.

"I am not asking you to disclose anything to me." Narcissa said sharply.

Hermione stood her ground; she wasn't intimidated by Narcissa, although a nagging voice in the back of her head told her that she should be.

"Then why are you here?" Hermione asked.

Narcissa put down her tea as well and sighed.

"Bellatrix…she has told you many things I am sure. But what she hasn't told you is…well…she likes you." Narcissa said.

Hermione's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She was sure that Bellatrix had some sort of feelings for her, but she never thought they would be…well to be honest, feelings that were intimate in nature.

"Judging by the look on your face, you are surprised." Narcissa said giving Hermione a rare genuine smile.

"I figured there might have been something there…but I just thought that maybe it was because…well to be honest, because she marked me." Hermione said after a short silence.

"No, you will find that you are quite mistaken." Narcissa said matter-of-factly.

Hermione let out a slow sigh. She knew eventually she would need to explore these feelings. And doing it on her own wasn't working any. Narcissa did have a point, and Hermione was hoping that she would get to it soon.

"Bella has never been to keen on sharing her feelings with anyone, not even me, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have any. She just has a different way of expressing them, and well sometimes it isn't the most conventional way to do so." Narcissa said.

Hermione said nothing, so Narcissa went on.

"I know what she did to you was…well it was wrong. She was scared and at the time believed that she had failed her master. Failure is not something that my sister takes very lightly." Narcissa explained.

"If you came here to defend the choices she made Mrs. Malfoy, save it, I don't want to hear them. I am not judging Bellatrix on her past choices, or what she did to me. I put aside my issues with her because I believe that I can help her." Hermione said.

Narcissa looked as though she had heard exactly what she wanted to hear, but Hermione was still unsure of what Narcissa's point was. She was sure that it was important; Narcissa was wearing Muggle clothing for Merlin's sake!

"I think that you already have Ms. Granger." Narcissa said.

"That may be true, but if it is, I can not say so." Hermione said.

Narcissa finished her tea.

"I am not asking you to. I am just here to tell you that my sister has…well she has her mind set on you. She is different, even you cannot deny that." Narcissa said.

"Well yes, she is." Hermione admitted.

"She is very vulnerable, and that makes her scared. Letting in certain feelings isn't easy for her. All I am saying is make sure you can handle whatever she may tell you." Narcissa said.

Hermione looked taken aback and surprised by Narcissa's intuitiveness, the reverence she spoke with when referring to Bellatrix. She figured that they had been close growing up.

"I know my sister back wards and forwards, and I have never seen her this way. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it, but be careful, if she gets too attached…then well I know that your ability to resist her will be too much to handle." Narcissa said after a short pause.

"You think that I have so little self restraint that I can't resist her?" Hermione asked indignantly.

Narcissa laughed softly, but that only angered the young witch.

"I just meant that, if you feel the same way, and you are sure about it, then by all means go for it. But if not, if you do not feel the same way, you need to make that clear before it gets too far. Don't have a fuck session if you aren't sure of what you want." Narcissa said.

"Who said anything about a fuck session?!" Hermione said getting to her feet and glaring at the older witch with confusion and fury in her eyes.

Sure she was fucking herself to thoughts of Bellatrix, but that did not mean that she wanted to literally fuck the woman. Narcissa was way out of line, and the older witch knew it, but chose to stay on the subject. It was bizarre how the older witch knew so much on the situation. She had to have some sort of inside information.

"Besides she is my patient, I can't go fucking my patients." Hermione added.

"True." Narcissa agreed.

"So then what?" Hermione asked.

"Just be careful…" Narcissa said getting to her feet.

"I think I have over stayed my welcome. I will take my leave now." Narcissa added walking into the entry way and putting on her coat.

"Have you…I mean have you been unable to resist her?" Hermione asked.

Narcissa's fingers paused on the last button of her heavy coat and she looked up at Hermione, her ice blue eyes now dull.

"More times than you know." Narcissa replied.

Her voice was numb and Hermione could tell that there was more to these women than met the eye.

"There are many secrets with in the House of Black, Ms. Granger. I expect that you'll find them out soon enough." Narcissa said darkly.

Hermione nodded and opened the door for Narcissa.

"I expect what I have told you will be kept between us?' Narcissa asked.

"Yes, of course." Hermione said.

Narcissa looked out onto the crowed street, she knew she wouldn't be able to apparate safely just yet.

"You take care." Narcissa said as she walked out onto the side walk.

"You as well." Hermione replied.

Narcissa walked out onto the street and walked a little ways before she found a completely deserted ally way. She turned on the spot vanishing with a very soft _pop._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Author's Note: It may seem like more than friendship between Hermione and Tonks…but that is all it is! Bellamione is coming guys don't worry! Please read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 9

Bellatrix walked into Hermione's office this time with more confidence than she had had on the other occasions. She had a feeling that this time was going to be different. She had found that her nightly secessions of screaming out the younger witch's name were not working much to alleviate some of the burning in her groin. Narcissa had made sure that Bellatrix was sated enough to at least get some sleep, but Bellatrix felt bad using her sister like that. They were adults now, and their own love making was coming to an end.

"Hello Bellatrix." Hermione said greeting the older witch with her customary smile.

But Bellatrix could tell that something was off with the younger witch today.

"Hello. You're looking fit." Bellatrix said sitting down opposite Hermione.

"I run a lot." Hermione said shortly.

"I can tell." Bellatrix replied.

"Shall we start?" Hermione asked getting her pen and pad of paper ready.

Bellatrix paid no mind to the pad anymore; she was immune to the scratching of Hermione's pen now.

"We left off last week talking about Narcissa. Would you like to start there?" Hermione asked looking down at her notes.

"We could." Bellatrix shrugged.

"Well, you said that she had suffered at your hands, what did you mean by that?" Hermione asked not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

The look on Narcissa's face as Hermione had asked her the question… was still bothering her.

Bellatrix looked lost in thought for a moment; she wasn't sure where she should begin on the subject of her baby sister.

"We were close growing up. We both grew up having the same values and qualities that make us Blacks superior to other Wizarding families. But we were completely different people. I am the oldest, and as the oldest I had to set an example to my younger siblings." Bellatrix said.

"Narcissa looked up to you?" Hermione asked.

"They both did. Andy and Cissy both." Bellatrix admitted.

"Andromeda and Narcissa both had the same values. What made you so different? Why did you decide to join Voldemort?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix winced at the sound of both Andromeda and Voldemort's name, but she didn't change the subject.

"Andy…she didn't like what I was doing, said it was a lost cause and that we were no different from Muggles or Mudbloods. That if we only learned how to accept them that our world would be a better place. Equality is what she wanted." Bellatrix said sounding bitter for the first time.

Hermione made some notes on her note pad and then looked back up at Bellatrix.

"And Narcissa?" Hermione asked.

"She was on the fence. She was still so young. Well not really young, but what do you know about the world at 14? Nothing." Bellatrix replied.

"But you knew more than she did." Hermione said.

"Of course I did. I was of age and I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't want to be a brainless house wife or baby factory like she did. I wanted to make something of myself. I wanted to show the world the power of the Blacks and make our wealth and power known once again." Bellatrix said the color high in her cheeks now as she talked about her early glory days.

"So you joined the Death Eaters." Hermione said.

"Yes, it wasn't easy, being the first woman to join. Men still thought themselves superior, but they were wrong. I was branded before most of the men that you have come to know as Death Eaters." Bellatrix said.

"It must have made your parents proud." Hermione said.

"They were happy, yes. My mother thought I was useless as it was, but after I was branded she thought differently." Bellatrix said smirking.

"And your sisters?" Hermione asked a little too eagerly.

"Andy hated the idea, swearing that she would never join and that I was a fool for doing so. Cissy was hysterical, telling me that I wasn't going to be a good wife and I was going to cause the family dishonor and I was going to burn if I had killed anyone before being branded." Bellatrix replied.

"Well…did you?" Hermione asked.

"Did I what?" Bellatrix asked.

"Kill any one?" Hermione replied.

"No, the only person I have ever killed was my cousin, Sirius Black." Bellatrix snapped.

Hermione made another note on her paper, and she did not look up for almost two minutes.

"So you and your sisters were on three different fronts with this issue." Hermione said trying to get the conversation flowing again.

"Yes. Like I said, Cissy was hysterical. Andy was in denial. I think Cissy was hurt the most because she didn't want to lose me." Bellatrix said.

"That is understandable. No one should have to lose some one they love." Hermione said.

"I think at the time that it was the sex that she was going to miss." Bellatrix had said before she could stop herself.

This time Hermione had no reaction, she didn't know how to react.

'_There are many secrets with in the House of Black' _

Narcissa's words echoed in her head.

"You two were close. Did Andromeda…was she close as well?" Hermione asked.

"For a while. But she started hanging out with different people and our lives were going in different directions, she grew to believe that what we did was wrong. Of course it was wrong, sick and wrong, but oh…so good. I suppose it was because we had no one else to turn to for love and affection that we just…molded to one another." Bellatrix explained.

"That is understandable, you were lost, confused, and needed something to take away the emptiness." Hermione said.

"Sleeping with your sister is hardly acceptable Hermione." Bellatrix snapped.

"No it isn't, but under the circumstances it was." Hermione reasoned.

Though the thought initially repulsed her, it was an intriguing idea. Did that make her sick too?

"When I was married, it hit Cissy the hardest, because by that time Andy had started to drift away. It wasn't until a year after I was married that she ran away with that Mudblood, Tonks. Cissy was angry that she was alone to face our mother. She was punished for not stopping Andromeda. We were punished a lot for the actions of each other. For not being perfect or for not acting proper, Narcissa was the epitome of perfection. I on the other hand was the epitome of failure, and Andromeda was just pathetic." Bellatrix said.

Hermione made another note, now she was starting to understand why Bellatrix and Narcissa were so close, though Bellatrix was dominating and Narcissa submissive. She supposed it was because of their mother that they had turned into such broken people.

"My mother had almost killed her in anger. My father drank himself into a rage almost every night, forcing my mother to take everything out on Cissy. She was no longer the beloved baby anymore; she was a young woman who had failed her family. Well naturally she ran to me with anything and everything. She started to notice the change in me after I was married. Times had changed. I had changed. The mission, the cause had changed. I no longer needed her anymore. I no longer needed the sex to keep me sane. I had my brainless husband for the sex and my master for the companionship that I needed. "Bellatrix paused and she was deep in thought for a moment.

"She suffered because you took her innocence from her?" Hermione asked.

"Yes…I felt as if I shouldn't have…done that to her…with her, that I made her as fucked up as I was." Bellatrix said snapping back to their conversation.

"Was there another time?" Hermione asked.

"I…it was after _He _was killed…I was in a panic and I was trying to find out something, anything about how or what killed him. But I didn't know anything. Finally we had received information from one of our own that the Longbottoms knew something. So Rodolphus and I went to pay them a visit." Bellatrix said.

Chills crept up Hermione's spine at the way Bellatrix had said it. The way her voice was menacing and threatening. She could just imagine how Bellatrix must have been feeling when she confronted Frank and Alice Longbottom.

"I visited Cissy at her Manor. She had only been married to Lucius for a couple of years and had Draco. I was scared. She wasn't helping me…told me that I was a fool and a selfish bitch for coming there when I knew that Aurors would soon be on their way to get me. That I put her son in danger and if they came for me that she would give me to them. I was so angry that I…tortured her…I tortured her until every muscle in her body ached…I tortured her until almost all of her ribs had cracked…I tortured her until I could no longer feel anything…I tortured her until she was silent, until I no longer heard pleas and cries of mercy." Bellatrix said.

And Hermione wasn't surprised to hear the tears and regret in Bellatrix's voice. But the sheer power of the words hit her like a stampeding Hippogriff. Bellatrix had tortured her own sister.

"And I left her there. I just left her on the floor of Draco's nursery. I never saw her again." Bellatrix said softly.

Hermione made a few more notes on her note pad and glanced at her watch. She knew that they were out of time, but she had no other appointments that day, so decided to keep the conversation going.

"I had to live with that image in my head for 14 years. They don't allow visitors to Azkaban. I never saw her, or heard from her. Not until I was broken out. She was the first person I went to…she took it easy on me though I did not deserve it. She dressed my wounds from where the shackles had been cutting into my skin for so long. Fed me up until I was strong enough to use magic again…she kept my wand all this time…I had left it there after I had almost killed her." Bellatrix continued.

"You faced the Aurors without a wand?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"No of course not, I took Rodolphus's wand. Once I knew for sure that they were coming for us, I being the better duelist took his and fought. The stupid sod, he never unlocked its full potential." Bellatrix said bitterly.

"I heard it was quite a fight." Hermione said.

"Oh it was! Oh yes it was! But of course in the end…we were cornered and I knew it was over. I went quietly after that." Bellatrix said passionately.

"Giving up, that doesn't sound like you." Hermione said.

Bellatrix laughed.

"Oh come on, even I know that 15 against 1 is a little bit too much to be going on with." Bellatrix said still laughing a little.

"The other sods that were brought in with me were useless. So I had to carry their weight. But of course, in the end, we lost." Bellatrix continued.

"I never imagined…" Hermione said softly.

"It was quite a fiasco. The whole thing. Cissy, the Aurors…Azkaban." Bellatrix said.

"Narcissa said that there were many secrets with in the House of Black, but I never imagined that it would be anything like that." Hermione said before she could stop herself.

Bellatrix got to her feet and advanced on Hermione who got to her feet as well and had started to move away from Bellatrix.

"You talked to Cissy?!" Bellatrix asked frantic with rage.

"She…she came by last week…" Hermione said shaking.

Her whole body was frozen in terror. Her mind flashed back to Malfoy Manor, except she knew that Harry, Ron and Dobby wouldn't be there to save her again. Bellatrix had backed her against the wall, her lips close to hers. Hermione had an overwhelming desire to kiss those lips, to distract the older witch, but she knew that it wouldn't be such a good idea on her part. Bellatrix could react badly and kill her where she stood.

"What did she say? What did you say?!" Bellatrix asked.

"I…she was just worried about you…" Hermione replied.

She hoped beyond hope that answer would suffice.

"Liar! What did she tell you?!" Bellatrix shrieked.

She was trying hard not to wrap her hands around the younger witch's throat. The anger that was rushing though her was becoming too much that she just turned and left the office, leaving a terrified Hermione in her wake.

Hermione sank to the floor, shaking with sobs. And that was how Tonks had found her a few minutes later.

"Hermione! What happened?!" Tonks asked rushing to the shaking woman's side.

Hermione couldn't speak; Tonks put an arm around her and could feel her body shaking from more than just sobs.

"Did she…did she hurt you?! I will kill her if she has laid a hand on you!" Tonks said looking at Hermione from arms length.

Hermione shook her head and opened her eyes.

"She didn't…don't worry." Hermione choked out.

Relief broke across the older woman's face. Hermione wasn't physically hurt.

"Come on; let's get you out of here." Tonks said getting Hermione to her feet.

Hermione packed all her materials into her bag and the two women left the office. Once back at Hermione's flat, Tonks had made some tea and got Hermione changed and into bed.

"She was…she was scared…just like when she tortured me…Dora I was so scared. I thought she was going to hurt me…her hands…were shaking." Hermione said as Tonks sat on the edge of her bed.

Tonks closed her eyes, she was exhausted, but she didn't want to leave Hermione alone until she knew that she would be alright.

"I was curious to know what happened. I knew that you had gone over time, so I was just going to wait until Bellatrix came to my office to sign the paperwork, when she didn't show I got worried." Tonks said looking at Hermione.

"I…she was on a roll…I figured that she wouldn't notice anyways…but I went and said too much. I promised Mrs. Malfoy that I wouldn't say anything." Hermione said breaking down into sobs once more.

"You didn't do anything. Bellatrix would have found out eventually. And she didn't hurt you, any other time she might have." Tonks reasoned.

Hermione said nothing for a few minutes. She finished her tea.

"I need to get going. I have to go pick up Teddy from my mum's." Tonks said getting to her feet.

"Please stay?" Hermione asked.

The plea in her voice broke Tonks's heart; she had never seen a more defeated person in her life.

"Let me send a message to her. I will be right back." Tonks said leaving the room.

After a few minutes she was back.

"You can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like. I think we are about the same size." Hermione said looking at Tonks.

Tonks nodded and pulled a tank top and shorts from Hermione's dresser. She went into the bathroom to change and came out a few minutes later, her hair down, and purple again. She sat in a chair next to Hermione's bed.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked.

"Watching you." Tonks replied simply.

"Get up here, do you think I asked you to stay so that you could sit in a chair an watch me sleep?" Hermione asked.

"No, I suppose not…but you don't think it would be weird?" Tonks asked.

"We are both women, and just because I am gay doesn't mean that I will attack you." Hermione replied a little defensively.

"It's not that Mione." Tonks said shaking her head.

"Then what is it?" Hermione asked.

Now it was her turn to be the concerned friend.

"I just…I haven't slept well since…Remus died. And I don't know what it would be like to sleep in the same bed with someone." Tonks said finally.

"I wont touch you or anything. I just don't want to be alone." Hermione said.

After a few minutes of internal struggle Tonks finally climbed into bed next to Hermione and to her surprise and Hermione's she pulled the younger witch into her arms. Hermione draped her arm over Tonks's firm abdomen and laid her head on her chest. She listened to the racing heart beat.

"Don't be nervous." Hermione said quietly.

She felt Tonks laugh. She looked up at the older woman and smiled, Tonks placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Go to sleep Mione. I will be here when you wake up" Tonks said smiling.

Hermione sighed and listened again as Tonks's heart beat slowed and her breathing became even and deep. Hermione found that she didn't mind being in Tonks's arms like this, but knew at the same time that it was only a friendly gesture. She fell asleep a few minutes later, listening to the slow, quiet beating of Tonks's heart.

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Narcissa gets into some trouble…but the tides turn in her favor. Please read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 10

Bellatrix arrived back at Malfoy Manor in a rage she couldn't believe that Narcissa had gone behind her back like that. And what was more, she had scared Hermione shitless.

"Cissy! Narcissa where the bloody hell are you?!" Bellatrix yelled as she walked from room to room looking for her sister.

Narcissa emerged from her room dressed in nothing but a bathrobe, her hair was wet and her skin lightly flushed.

"I am right here Bella for fuck's sake Stop yelling!" Narcissa said.

Bellatrix didn't answer she just pushed past Narcissa and entered her room, Narcissa closing the door behind them.

"What is so damned important that you have to go and yell at the top of your voice?" Narcissa asked crossing her arms across her chest.

"Why did you go to her?! What did you tell her about me?!" Bellatrix shouted.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Narcissa asked puzzled.

She knew to whom her sister was referring, but she wasn't ready to give in so easily. Bellatrix was starting to scare her; she hadn't seen her like this in years.

"Don't play stupid with me! You know who I am talking about. Hermione! You went to see her Hermione!" Bellatrix shouted advancing on her sister.

Narcissa backed away.

"Yes I went to see her." Narcissa said.

She wasn't sure what was going to happen but she didn't like the glint in her sister's dark eyes. But she stood her ground nevertheless.

"Why?! Cissy why in the name of Merlin would you do that?! For fuck's sake Cissy do you realize what you have done?!" Bellatrix asked

"What I have done? What _I _have done? I am not the one who scared the shit out of her in a fit of anger!" Narcissa shouted.

Bellatrix backed off; Narcissa was just as scary when she was angry.

"Andy told me. Nymphadora took Hermione home in tears and is staying with her. Is it true that you backed her against the wall?" Narcissa asked

"Well I was angry! And scared…shit Cissy." Bellatrix replied running her nails through her dark, raven curls.

"Yes well you set both of you back" Narcissa said.

Bellatrix drew her wand, pointing it at a defenseless Narcissa, who just looked at her sister, eyebrows raised.

"This is your fault. I had everything under control and you had to go and tell her shit like that! _There are many secrets within the house of Black_! Why for fuck's sake would you say that?!" Bellatrix said in a low and deadly voice, dark eyes narrowed.

Narcissa could feel the curse building, could feel the magical pull of her older sister, but she made no attempt to defend herself. Bellatrix lowered her wand and advanced on her. Narcissa looked into the cold, dark eyes of her sister and shivered. Bellatrix slapped her hard across the face, cutting open her cheek. Then Bellatrix raised her wand as she backed away from a shocked Narcissa. She still made no move to defend herself; she didn't want to fight her own sister. Bellatrix didn't need to say the curse out loud but decided that Narcissa should know what was coming for her.

"CRUCIO!" Bellatrix shrieked.

Narcissa fell to the floor, but she did not cry out, or did she open her eyes. The curse intensified and Narcissa continued to writhe and twitch in silent agony on the floor. Her breathing was labored and blood was seeping from the corners of her mouth. After a few minutes Narcissa broke free if the curse and staggered to her feet.

"You shouldn't…have done that." Narcissa said to a wide eyed and shocked Bellatrix.

And before Bellatrix could react Narcissa had thrown a curse at her. Bellatrix fell to the floor crying out in agony as Narcissa bore down on her, intensifying the curse. Bellatrix had never felt this much pain in her life and the worst part was, Narcissa was showing no sign of lifting the curse.

"I will no longer be your punching bag Bellatrix. It ends here and now." Narcissa said angrily.

The curse intensified again and Narcissa heard the sickening crack of bones breaking. Bellatrix cried out and spat blood out of her mouth. The sight of her sister's blood on her mahogany floor snapped her back. She lifted the curse and Bellatrix staggered to her feet.

The slap echoed across the room. Bellatrix clutched at her bloody nose and bruised cheek. Narcissa had never hit her before, but the rage was pulsing through her, making her lose herself for a moment.

"All I did was try to help. I never meant for things to get out of hand, Bellatrix you need to start learning how to control your temper or she will forever be out of your grasp." Narcissa said coldly.

Bellatrix knew that she was right, but that didn't stop her from being angry at her. She spat more blood out of her mouth and ran her hand across her face to wipe off some of the blood.

"Fuck you Cissy." Bellatrix hissed.

"Very mature Bellatrix." Narcissa sneered.

"Go to hell!" Bellatrix yelled.

"You go first!" Narcissa shouted back.

Bellatrix tried to throw another curse at the younger witch but Narcissa had deflected it with such speed that it sent Bellatrix staggering back wards.

"Get out! Get the fuck out! I don't ever want to see you again!" Narcissa said.

The defeat in Narcissa's voice broke her heart, but she knew that she deserved it. Bellatrix left the room slamming the heavy wooden door behind her. Narcissa walked over to the window and watched her sister stride up the drive way. Bellatrix turned back to look up at her angry sister then turned on the spot. Narcissa stood there looking at the spot where her sister had just vanished and wasn't surprised to find that her eyes were dry. She moved away from the window and began to heal her wounds. This time she wouldn't stop Lucius if he went after her. She got back in the tub and finished her bath, still angry that Bellatrix had dared to torture her again. But she felt that she hadn't done anything wrong, she only wanted to warn Hermione if things progressed any further beyond patient and counselor. She finished her bath and crawled into bed, wondering where her sister had disaparated to.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Author's note: The moment you have all been waiting for! Slight Bellamione! Please read and review!

Wide Awake: Chapter 11

Bellatrix arrived back at her empty manor in a rage. She couldn't believe the audacity of Narcissa! Using her own curse against her. But then again she deserved it. Narcissa had really only been trying to help. She had only been trying to spare the girl incase Bellatrix did something stupid. Bellatrix shot a curse at the opposite wall and it exploded. She collapsed on the floor in tears. Things had gotten bad so fast and she never stopped to think about hoe bad she had hurt Narcissa while in her self anguish over this girl. Not to mention how badly she had just hurt her, but Narcissa had found a way to defeat the curse, had found a way to get up and defend herself. Bellatrix pounded the cold floor; she needed to see the girl, needed to apologize, to explain why. The look on Hermione's face as she was backed against the wall, was the same look she had while she was being tortured…but this time…there was something different in her eyes, something that wasn't quite all the way there last time. Something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Now she really needed to see the girl, but she wasn't sure if it was okay to do so, she might be cursed or arrested, after all her niece was sure to be there. Deciding that she could risk it, she stood, changed her clothes and picked up her heavy black cloak.

Hermione Granger.

She turned on the spot, and vanished.

Hermione awoke with a start. She had felt something, something powerful move towards her, entering her domain. Tonks had rolled off Hermione and was sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed. The brunette got out of bed slowly and quietly and went down stairs making sure that this time she was armed. Once down in the living room she turned on the small lamp that was on the table by the staircase. She saw someone sitting in her arm chair. The younger woman didn't need ask who it was because she had felt the magical signature. It was powerful and she had only known one person to posses one so strong, Bellatrix.

Once she knew that Bellatrix wasn't going to attack her she turned on the over head light. What she saw shocked her. Bellatrix was sitting there in a simple, almost Muggle like black dress, boots and a heavy cloak. As far as Hermione could tell, she wasn't armed and she was lacking her typical black, lace corset. Her dark curls were damp from the snow outside and her dark eyes were blood shot. Then Hermione's eyes fixed on the large bruise on her left cheek, it looked fresh and angry. Hermione had never seen a more defeated person in her life.

"Bellatrix." Hermione whispered.

Bellatrix said nothing; she just continued to stare at the younger woman.

"Bellatrix this is not okay. You, showing up here like this." Hermione said when Bellatrix said nothing.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know where else to go." Bellatrix said, her voice was hoarse and Hermione knew that she had been crying.

Hermione said nothing in response but went into the kitchen to make a pot of tea.

"My niece, is she upstairs?" Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

"She is. But she is sleeping." Hermione replied handing Bellatrix a cup of tea.

Bellatrix moved to take off her cloak and sat back in the chair, sipping the hot tea with a word of thanks.

"Is she going to arrest me?" Bellatrix asked.

"Not unless you give her a reason to." Hermione replied.

"It won't come to that." Bellatrix muttered into her tea cup.

"What happened to you?" Hermione asked concerned.

"Cissy." Bellatrix replied simply, but she did not elaborate.

Hermione knew better than to press the subject, but she wanted to know. Her curiosity was getting the better of her once more.

"Narcissa?! What happened?" Hermione asked.

"We had an…an argument." Bellatrix replied.

"Why? What was it about?" Hermione asked.

"You. The argument was about you." Bellatrix snapped.

Hermione put down her tea and looked wide eyed at Bellatrix who had finished her tea and placed her empty cup down on the table in front of her.

"I…its all my fault…I shouldn't have said anything…I'm sorry I am so sorry." Hermione said on the verge of tears.

Bellatrix couldn't stand the sight of tears. She used to hate it when she would see Narcissa cry when they were children. Without thinking she got up and moved to sit next to Hermione who scooted away from Bellatrix

"I won't hurt you Hermione." Bellatrix said softly, her eye brows knitted together in hurt and confusion.

Hermione said nothing and folded herself into Bellatrix's arms, placing her head on her chest. She broke down into quiet sobs as Bellatrix rocked her. She could feel Bellatrix trembling and knew that she was crying as well.

"I'm sorry Hermione…I should have never…Look I am not sure why I like you so much, whether its because you are powerful and a worthy opponent, or because you are the first person outside if my family to look at me like I am a human being, I like you a lot more than I should…Cissy knew all along…about both of us…about how both of us are feeling…" Bellatrix explained.

Hermione pulled herself out of her arms and looked into the dark eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange.

"I don't think you are a monster…I used to…when I knew what you did to the Longbottoms…you killed Sirius…you tortured me…I pitied you…" Hermione said.

"Pity is not something that should be wasted on me." Bellatrix said softly.

Hermione shook her head, and wiped her eyes. She moved her hands to cup Bellatrix's face, she winced as Hermione's thumb crossed over the angry bruise, but she did not pull away.

"You are wrong Bella…everyone deserves a second chance." Hermione said wiping away the fresh tears with her thumb.

"I don't know what you have done to me Hermione…but I feel that somehow I can trust you." Bellatrix said.

"I feel the same way…somehow I knew that when you were torturing me…even if you hated me and everything I stood for, I knew that you wouldn't kill me." Hermione said.

"I was scared…I couldn't fail…not again." Bellatrix said.

"Then don't fail this time…" Hermione said.

And before Bellatrix realized it, Hermione had placed a soft kiss on her lips. Hermione backed away slightly as she broke the kiss, her chocolate brown eyes filling with tears. But Bellatrix wasn't angry, Hermione saw something in those dark eyes that scared her but intrigued her at the same time, lust and reluctance. Bellatrix pulled Hermione to her once more and kissed her again. Hermione wrapped her arms around the older woman's waist and moved to sit in her lap as the kiss grew more intense. Bellatrix moaned as Hermione's hands roamed up her body, stopping just below her breasts. She opened her mouth to allow the younger witch's tongue to explore her wanting mouth. Bellatrix felt Hermione moan as Bellatrix ran her long nails through her bushy brown hair. somehow, Hermione wasn't sure when, but they had ended up with Bellatrix on top of her kissing the skin that was not covered by her tank top, her pulse point ached as she felt soft lips suck hard on the spot. Her hips jerked as she felt long fingers tease her through the fabric of her pajama pants. Her own hands moving up the length of Bellatrix's thighs to stroke her own core. Bellatrix let out a low moan that made the wetness in Hermione's groin even more pronounced. But she suddenly felt a hand close on her wrist.

"Wait…not yet." Bellatrix said sitting up.

Her cheeks were flushed and her chest was heaving.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't…" Hermione said.

"No…no don't blame yourself…I know better…it's too soon…much to soon…If I am going to do this…I want to do it properly." Bellatrix said.

"Do what?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Court you." Bellatrix replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You mean date me?" Hermione asked.

"Is that what you call it these days?" Bellatrix asked confused.

Hermione laughed softly and kissed Bellatrix again.

"Yes…courting is so old fashioned." Hermione said breaking the kiss.

"Well my dear…I happen to be old fashioned." Bellatrix said smiling.

They kissed again but jumped apart when they heard the floor boards above creak. Tonks must have woken up.

"I should go…I don't want her to see me." Bellatrix said getting off Hermione and throwing on her cloak.

"You can disaparate out of here. Come to my office tomorrow…" Hermione said sitting up.

"I will. Bye Hermione." Bellatrix said urgently.

They kissed again, but the sound of Tonks's voice coming from down the stairs made Bellatrix jump. She turned on the spot, leaving Hermione alone in her living room to face Tonks alone. She straightened herself and walked into the kitchen, busying herself with the tea pot when Tonks walked in.

"There you are Mione. I was worried." Tonks said breathing in a sigh of relief.

"I couldn't sleep, so I came down here to read, I didn't want to wake you." Hermione said.

Tonks nodded in understanding and sat down at the kitchen table.

"I know that it's only 4 in the morning, but would you like some tea?" Hermione asked.

"I think we should get back to bed." Tonks replied.

"Yeah you're right, let me run to the bathroom and I will meet you back upstairs." Hermione said.

"Sure thing Mione." Tonks said smiling.

Hermione went to the bathroom and then climbed back into bed with Tonks.

"Bellatrix was here wasn't she?" Tonks asked.

Hermione stiffened. But she felt Tonks laugh.

"Look Mione, what you and my aunt do is between you two, I wont judge, it's your life. But just be careful." Tonks said.

"Of course" Hermione said.

Tonks kissed the top of Hermione's head and they fell back asleep once more.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: I know this may be moving a little fast, but I am trying to keep it on some sort of a time line. It's been a few weeks since Bellatrix came to Hermione for the counseling. There will be slight Bellamione in this chapter…Please read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 12

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling slightly more rested than she had in years. She wasn't sure if it was because Tonks was holding her, or if it was because she had finally moved forward with Bellatrix, either way she felt good and she rolled out of bed and began to get dressed for the day.

"I made you some tea." Hermione said as Tonks joined her in the kitchen, dressed and ready for the day.

"Thank you Mione." Tonks said taking her mug and sitting down at the table.

She beamed at Hermione. She had never seen the young woman so happy. She continued to survey her friend as she busied herself in the kitchen. Finally she sat down with her own mug of tea and glanced at her watch.

"Are you going in today?" Hermione asked breaking the silence.

"No, I finished all my work for the week, plus I miss Teddy…I need to get home to him." Tonks replied.

"He is getting so big and so handsome." Hermione commented finishing her tea.

"He is, never ceases to amaze me." Tonks replied beaming.

She finished her tea and put her mug in the sink.

"Are you going in today?" Tonks asked looking out Hermione's kitchen window.

"Yes, for a little while, I have to transfer Bellatrix's case to Luna…" Hermione replied.

Tonks turned around to face her friend.

"Why? Why can't you treat her?" Tonks asked curiously.

Hermione chuckled a little.

"Because she is my charge…And it isn't appropriate for me to sleep with her and treat her." Hermione replied.

"You haven't…slept with her have you?!" Tonks asked shocked.

"No, no, no! Not yet…we just barely kissed…honestly Dora." Hermione said shaking her head in mock indignation.

"I didn't mean…I didn't mean anything by it Mione…I know you're not a harlot. I was merely curious." Tonks said.

"I know…I don't know where this is going, but I want to make sure that there isn't a conflict of interest, I think that I can talk Bella into talking to Luna." Hermione said getting to her feet.

The two women walked to the door, both putting on their coats.

"I guess I will see you Monday." Tonks said as they reached the secluded alley way a short ways from Hermione's flat.

"See you Monday; give Teddy a kiss from me." Hermione said hugging her friend.

Tonks smiled and turned on the spot. Hermione smiled at the spot where her friend had disappeared and began her walk to the Ministry of Magic.

Bellatrix was dressed and ready to leave for the Ministry when an owl arrived for her. She looked at the letter and then threw it down on the bed. It was from Narcissa. She knew that if she ignored her sister long enough, that she would receive a visit at some point. But right now Hermione was the only thing on her mind, Narcissa could wait. Plus she wasn't so sure that she wanted to even talk to her sister right now, though it wasn't just her fault, she knew that what had passed between them had forced them to a breaking point. Bellatrix picked decided to pick up the letter and tucked it into her cloak as she left the Manor.

Hermione arrived at the Ministry, shaking snow from her bushy hair. She looked up and wasn't surprised to see Luna in the office.

"Hello Hermione." Luna said cheerfully.

"Morning Luna…I didn't expect you to be here today." Hermione said.

"I wasn't…but I had some things to take care of, I won't be here much longer." Luna said turning back to her paper work.

"I see…can I ask you something?" Hermione asked sitting down at Luna's desk.

"Sure." Luna said looking up at her friend with polite interest.

"I…well I was wondering if you could take over Bellatrix's case." Hermione said a little awkwardly.

Luna smiled knowingly at Hermione. Hermione flushed and looked away from Luna's deep blue eyes.

"Of course I will Mione. I will just need your notes and we are all set." Luna said smiling.

"I will get them." Hermione said getting to her feet

She returned a few minutes later with her note pad, and handed it to Luna who took it and put it in her briefcase along with the rest of her paperwork. She stood and put on her coat.

"I will see you Monday Hermione." Luna said leaving her office.

Hermione nodded and walked into her office, she left the door open and sat down at her desk. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous, it was just Bellatrix, she wasn't even this nervous the first time they had met for their weekly counseling sessions. She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of a soft knock on her door, she turned to see Bellatrix standing there, her cheeks slightly red from the cold, and flecks of snow in her wild curls.

"Please come in." Hermione said getting to her feet.

Bellatrix came in, hanging her cloak in the hook by the door. She placed a bouquet of roses on Hermione's desk.

"These are for you." Bellatrix said sitting down in the chair opposite Hermione's desk.

"Thank you!" Hermione said picking up the roses and bringing them to her nose.

Bellatrix smiled and just stared at Hermione.

"They are everlasting…they don't need water." Bellatrix said after a few minutes.

"They are beautiful Bella, thank you." Hermione said.

A short silence passed between them. It was even more awkward this time than the first, and Bellatrix seemed extremely nervous, which made Hermione smile; it made her feel good knowing that she wasn't the only one who was freaking out.

"So you asked me here, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

"Right…well you are my patient, so I wanted to let you know that since we are…well going to become more intimate, I will no longer be able to treat you." Hermione said.

"You won't?" Bellatrix asked a little apprehensively.

"Don't worry, Luna is more than capable. You can trust her." Hermione replied softly.

"We shall see." Bellatrix said.

"You will, she agreed and now we can get down to more pressing matters." Hermione said standing.

"Pressing matters?" Bellatrix asked raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"Yes…like this intense burning….I have." Hermione whispered moving closer to Bellatrix.

Bellatrix's dark eyes narrowed, she uncrossed her legs and Hermione straddled her in her chair, pressing her lips against hers softly.

"This intense burning…tell me about it?" Bellatrix asked kissing down Hermione's neck.

"It…it's hot…very h…hot." Hermione said between pants.

The feel of Bellatrix's lips on her neck was driving her crazy. She moaned as Bellatrix lightly sucked on her pulse point. Her hands running the length of Bellatrix's torso.

"How do you propose we get rid of this burning?" Bellatrix asked kissing her again.

"I can think of a way…but it's too soon…oh god…" Hermione replied as she felt Bellatrix's fingers stroke her through the fabric of her slacks.

It seemed that Bellatrix already knew what to do. Her hips moved against Bellatrix's hand, her own hands tangled in the older woman's wild mane of raven curls. She moaned, and long fingers stroked her clit, she threw her head back, pressing Bellatrix's head between her breasts.

"Fuck…" Hermione whispered as she felt her orgasm crash down over her.

Bellatrix let out a low moan as she felt Hermione's groin become even hotter as her orgasm approached.

"Bella…Bella…fuck…" Hermione moaned softly as her orgasm exploded over her.

Bellatrix continued to rub Hermione through her slacks as her orgasm dissipated. Hermione laid her head on Bellatrix's shoulder, lightly sinking her teeth into the fabric. After a few minutes Hermione's breathing returned to normal and she looked into Bellatrix's eyes.

"I think we moved a little too fast." Hermione said sadly.

There was a look in Bellatrix's eyes that she couldn't quite place, and she figured it was because she had just came on too strong to the older witch. Bellatrix removed her hand from Hermione's groin and placed both hands on her hips, squeezing them lightly.

"It's alright Love. Don't fret, I know I said that I wanted to do this properly but I think that we are sort of beyond that now. But I am serious about wanting to do this right, I think that full on sex shouldn't be something we engage in so quickly…though that little display gives me something to look forward to." Bellatrix said smiling.

Hermione blushed, but she smiled all the same.

"So I was thinking that we could go out for some lunch? Are you hungry?" Bellatrix asked changing the subject.

"I could eat, where did you have in mind?" Hermione asked.

"I place that I haven't been to in years." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione got to her feet and Bellatrix followed. They both put on their winter wear and walked out of the Ministry. After a few minutes of walking Bellatrix stopped and Hermione stopped too. She eyed the older woman curiously, but Bellatrix didn't say anything she just kept walking.

"We are here." Bellatrix said stopping outside of a small café.

Hermione looked up at it, it was small indeed, and the Muggles on the street didn't seem to notice it, Bellatrix took her hand and they walked inside.

"Madame Black." The owner of the restaurant said inclining his head to her.

"It's Lestrange now." Bellatrix snapped.

The old man apologized a hundred times over for offending her, Hermione rolled her eyes, even if the Wizarding World was different, it appeared that Bellatrix's family name still held and commanded a certain level of respect from the rest of the community. The man had obviously forgotten that Bellatrix had been married. She tugged on Hermione's hand and they sat down at a small table. The waiter came over and took their drink orders.

"Do you like it?" Bellatrix asked apprehensively.

Hermione nodded and continued to look around the small café. There were pictures in every wall and there were only a few tables, it didn't look like it was a place that many people ate at on a daily basis. Hermione looked at the menu and gaped, open mouthed at the prices of some of the dishes. Bellatrix seemed to know what Hermione was thinking because she took the menu away and placed a hand on Hermione's and smiled at her.

"Look don't worry about the money. It's no trouble. And plus this place is exclusive, only a few of the oldest Wizarding Families eat here. We won't be judged or bothered." Bellatrix said.

"You don't have to pay for me." Hermione said softly.

"I asked you out, it's only fair. And plus I have more money than I know what to do with, I might as well spend it on someone I like." Bellatrix shrugged taking her hand back and examining her own menu.

Hermione smiled and picked up her menu, this time ignoring the prices next to the entrée names. After a few minutes the water came back to refill their drinks and took their orders.

"So, what kinds of things do you like to do?" Bellatrix asked awkwardly.

Hermione took a sip of her water and smiled at Bellatrix.

"I like to read." Hermione replied.

"Is that it? I mean a talented young woman like you would surely have other hobbies other than reading." Bellatrix replied.

"Well what do you like to do?" Hermione shot back slightly defensively.

"I like to read as well." Bellatrix admitted.

"Thought so, poking fun at me when we really aren't that different." Hermione said taking another sip of water.

"Anything else?" Bellatrix asked.

"I like to listen to music. Though I doubt I will convert you to Muggle music any time soon, I think you might like some of it." Hermione replied.

"Perhaps. I play piano. I have been playing since I was a small child." Bellatrix said taking a sip of her own water.

"You play piano?! I had no idea! I play…a little…but I am not that good." Hermione said excitedly.

"You?! You Hermione Granger, the Brightest Witch of her age is bad at something?" Bellatrix asked in mock surprise and shock.

"We can't all be good at everything." Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Failure is not an option for me." Bellatrix said darkly.

"Don't do this, not here Bella." Hermione said warningly.

Bellatrix sighed and she finished her water. Just then the waiter brought their food and refilled their glasses. They ate in silence; once they were finished Bellatrix paid the bill, even leaving the waiter a tip which he took gratefully, and left the café.

"Thank you for lunch." Hermione said taking Bellatrix's hand.

"You're welcome." Bellatrix replied.

They walked for a while, not speaking just enjoying each other's company.

"Where to now?" Bellatrix asked.

"I don't know." Hermione replied.

"We could go shopping or we could go back to your place." Bellatrix suggested.

"You don't have to buy me things Bella. And why don't we go to your place?" Hermione asked.

"I…not yet…I'm not ready for that." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione nodded and became silent once more. She wanted to respect Bellatrix's privacy, but there were a million questions on her mind that she wanted to ask. Bellatrix seemed deep in thought as well and didn't speak for almost ten minutes. Finally Hermione broke the silence.

"How do you feel about Rodolphus's death?" Hermione asked boldly.

Bellatrix stopped walking and stared at Hermione in shock. Hermione thought she had crossed a major line, but a smile graced Bellatrix's lips, much to Hermione's surprise.

"I am glad he is gone." Bellatrix said honestly.

Hermione looked sad for a moment; she couldn't believe that someone would say that about their husband, I mean they were married for like what almost 30 years?

"Don't get me wrong, he could be useful. But he was mostly a controlling bastard who was jealous of me and my rank within the circle." Bellatrix added.

"Jealous…I'm sorry I don't meant to pry, but I am just curious, I mean you two were married for what 25 years?" Hermione asked.

"30, and you aren't prying, I suppose this would have come up sooner or later in our weekly conversations." Bellatrix said.

They continued to walk as Bellatrix talked about her marriage to Rodolphus Lestrange. Hermione walked along side the older woman, completely engaged in what she was saying, she never knew how complicated a Pure-Blood marriage was.

"We tried for children, but a healer at St. Mungo's determined that I was barren. But in all honesty I didn't want children, not with my self ambition taking me higher than I ever thought possible…I just wasn't ready to give that up…I rose with in the ranks faster than most and I proved myself more than once to everyone." Bellatrix said.

"It must have been difficult." Hermione said.

"I was for a while, but I pushed myself. I wasn't going to fail any longer. I had failed as a wife and I couldn't produce children, so I had to prove myself other ways…I wont get into those, but you get the idea." Bellatrix explained.

"I do…goodness Bella…Did you love him?" Hermione asked.

"Who?" Bellatrix asked confused.

"Rodolphus." Hermione replied.

"No." Bellatrix snapped.

"Not even a little?" Hermione asked, she knew that she was pushing her luck, but Bellatrix didn't seem too uncomfortable with the questions that she was asking.

"No, not in the slightest. Pure-Bloods do not marry for love; we marry for money and power." Bellatrix replied.

"Do you think that you could ever love?" Hermione asked before she could stop herself.

Bellatrix stopped walking and looked at Hermione confused. This whole thing was new to her and she didn't even know where to start, but understood that Hermione was trying to figure out if she had made the right choice. And Bellatrix knew deep down, that she could some day love the girl, but right now, she was just trying to get used to the fact that she was in a relationship.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…" Hermione said on the verge of tears.

"Hermione, look, I spent most of my marriage in prison, so I never really got to experience what it was like to have a relationship like that. We weren't married very long before we were imprisoned. And so I am not sure how to act. I mean I saw my parents, but they were no fit example…the only example I have is…Cissy…" Bellatrix said.

This time Bellatrix was on the verge of tears, but she wiped them away angrily. She didn't want to lose face in front of Hermione like this.

"I'm sorry Bella; we don't have to talk about this anymore. Lets go back to my place and talk some more. Get out of this cold." Hermione said taking Bellatrix's hand.

"Are we walking?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yeah, sure, why not? My place isn't far from here." Hermione replied smiling.

They walked in the direction of Hermione's flat.

"Is there anything that you absolutely hate?" Hermione asked unsure if she really wanted to know the answer.

Bellatrix thought for a second and smiled.

"Cinnamon." Bellatrix replied.

TBC…..


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Author's note: More Bellamione to come! (Pun fully intended) Thanks to all my awesome reviews and the peeps that have added this and are following it! This story has been my obsession! I am so into it please keep reading and reviewing!

Wide Awake: Chapter 13

"Of all the things in this world you could hate, Cinnamon is at the top of the list?" Hermione asked pulling out her keys an unlocking the door.

"Well my list has shortened considerably since the war." Bellatrix said irritably.

"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to poke fun." Hermione said.

She felt like she couldn't say anything right today. But Bellatrix didn't seem to mind because she pulled Hermione to her and kissed her as they crossed the threshold, closing the door behind them.

"I know Hermione. You are just curious…and I find that sexy." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.

"Oh do you?" Hermione asked raising her eyebrows.

"Yes and I am anxious to see how far that curiosity goes." Bellatrix replied lifting Hermione in her arms and placing her gently on the couch.

Hermione moaned as Bellatrix began to kiss down her neck.

"Let's take this off." Bellatrix said removing Hermione's coat and her own cloak as well.

Something thick landed on Hermione's stomach and she looked down to see what it was. It was a letter.

"Um Bella what it that?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix picked up the letter and threw it to the floor to join her cloak.

"Nothing, just a letter." Bellatrix replied.

"A letter from whom?" Hermione asked.

"Cissy." Bellatrix said dismissively.

All thought left Hermione's head for a couple seconds as Bellatrix continued her assault on her neck, but that letter kept nagging at her. It seemed like a long letter judging by the sheer weight of the envelope, and she thought that Bellatrix should read it.

"Stop thinking about the letter." Bellatrix snapped.

"But…it might be important." Hermione said.

Bellatrix let out an irritated groan and reached down for the letter, getting off Hermione. She sat up and ripped open the letter. Hermione watched as Bellatrix's dark eyes narrowed as she read the words on the first page of the parchment.

Hermione could tell that whatever Narcissa had said in the letter didn't much convince Bellatrix of anything. And Hermione knew that Bellatrix didn't want to talk about Narcissa right now, but it was no use putting it off. She would have to deal with it sooner or later. After a couple of minutes Bellatrix crushed the letter in her hands.

"Not good news?" Hermione asked apprehensively.

Bellatrix shook her head. Angry tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. Hermione placed a hand on Bellatrix's arm and she took it as a good sign that Bellatrix did not shake it off.

"Maybe we should call it a night." Hermione suggested after a short silence.

"No…I wanted this date to be perfect…and Cissy…had to go and ruin it. I should have read the letter this morning." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione wasn't sure what to say, because she didn't want to say the wrong thing again. But it looked like Bellatrix had other plans; she threw the ball of paper across the room and resumed her kissing of Hermione's neck. Hermione took it as a sign that Bellatrix was trying to think of something else before she lost her temper and Hermione wasn't going to complain, Bellatrix's mouth was amazing.

"Mione…" Bellatrix whispered.

"Yes?" Hermione replied.

Bellatrix looked down at her, a light blush covering her cheeks and chest. Hermione saw a plea in those dark eyes that surprised her.

"Let's go upstairs." Hermione suggested.

Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Hermione, and for a second Hermione thought Bellatrix was going to break down, but she was engulfed in a cloud of black smoke and a few seconds later they landed on Hermione's bed with Hermione on top. Bellatrix had just apparated them upstairs.

"Make me forget Mione…" Bellatrix pleaded pulling the younger woman to her.

She didn't ask what Bellatrix meant, because she knew it was about the words in the letter. She began to kiss down the column of Bellatrix's throat, forcing small moans and gasps to fall from Bellatrix's lips. Though she was curious to know what Narcissa had said in her letter, she pushed it out of her mind for the time being, making a mental note to ask Bellatrix about it at a later time, right now she just wanted to focus on the beautiful woman beneath her.

"Hermione…" Bellatrix gasped as she felt the younger witch gently squeeze one of her breasts.

Bellatrix spread her legs so Hermione could settle herself between them, her skirt riding up her creamy legs, touching the skin of Hermione's torso that had become exposed when she shifted position. Hermione could feel the heat coming from between the dark witch's legs and wanted badly to touch her, but wasn't sure how far she could go now. She decided to take a chance and run her left hand down Bellatrix's thigh, moving beneath her skirt. Bellatrix's sharp intake of breath told Hermione that she had not been expecting it, but it was not unwelcome.

"Please Mione…please…make me forget…make me forget everything…" Bellatrix pleaded.

Hermione wasn't sure if Bellatrix was in any fit state to make a decision like that, but Bellatrix didn't wait for Hermione's brain to stop in its pros and cons battle. She gently grabbed Hermione's wrist and pulled it towards her heated center. Hermione got the idea and snapped out of her musings, kissing Bellatrix as she stroked her though the fabric of her lace underwear.

"Fuck." Bellatrix moaned.

Hermione placed kissed between Bellatrix's breasts, nipping at them through the fabric of her dress. Her own arousal was becoming more apparent as she continued to elicit moans from the older woman. Hermione's thumb brushed against Bellatrix's clit and she felt Bellatrix's hips jerk forward. She knew what Bellatrix wanted, but at the same time she knew that this was going too fast. She thought back to earlier that day when Bellatrix had effortlessly brought her to orgasm, she wanted to do the same.

"Gods yes…" Bellatrix gasped as she felt Hermione move the thin piece of fabric out of the way.

Bellatrix clutched at Hermione, running her hands though her bushy, brown hair, pulling her impossibly closer to her. Hermione wasn't too sure what to do; she had never really done anything like this before, except on herself. Then she moved her thumb over Bellatrix's clit. The reaction was instantaneous. Bellatrix moved her hips forward, pushing them into Hermione's hand.

"Fuck…gods…don't stop." Bellatrix said between pants.

Hermione moved her hand against Bellatrix's center, making her moan louder. Bellatrix's head was spinning. The girl was a fast learner indeed. Another brush of her clit, lips on her neck and the weight of Hermione's body moving against her set her off. Her hips bucked and she threw her head back, clutching at the sheets as her orgasm ripped through her.

"Her…mione…fuck…gods…yes…fuck!" Bellatrix moaned loudly.

Hermione kept moving her thumb against Bellatrix's center until her orgasm subsided. Hermione removed her hand after a few minutes and Bellatrix wrapped her arms around the younger woman breathing deeply. Hermione lay there listening to the sound of Bellatrix's rapid heart beat. They lay there in silence. But the sound of tears broke their moment of bliss.

Bellatrix had started crying.

Hermione looked up into Bellatrix's dark, tear filled eyes.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix shook her head and pulled Hermione back down on her chest. She continued to hold Hermione for what seemed like hours.

"I…I haven't been with any other women…outside of my sisters…" Bellatrix said after a while.

Hermione opened her eyes. How could she not have known? It was obvious that she and Narcissa were intimate regularly, but it never occurred to her that there was more to their sisterly relationship than Bellatrix had let on during their sessions. The letter had proved that Hermione concluded.

"So I was your…first?" Hermione asked not sure if she had worded the question right.

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Bellatrix replied her voice thick with emotion.

Hermione said nothing she just laid there continuing to listen to Bellatrix's tears. She wasn't going to mention the letter, but Bellatrix seemed to know what she was thinking about.

"Cissy told me that she…doesn't want to see me until I…apologize for scaring you." Bellatrix said.

Hermione looked at Bellatrix confused.

"But you don't need to…I understand." Hermione said.

Bellatrix shook her head, there was more and Hermione was curious.

"I…I tortured her Hermione. I tortured my own sister!" Bellatrix shouted.

Hermione sat up and looked at Bellatrix in shock. Bellatrix had mentioned that she had tortured Narcissa many years ago, but Hermione had never thought it could happen again.

"I know…I am a monster." Bellatrix said softly.

Hermione said nothing, she wasn't sure what to say, but this nagging voice in her head told her that she should say something.

"I don't think you are a monster." Hermione said.

"You're a fool." Bellatrix said dryly.

"A fool who wants nothing but to be with you." Hermione said.

"She tortured me back…I guess I deserved it…and who is to say that I wont do it to you if you make me angry?" Bellatrix asked,

There was fear in her voice, and that was a little unsettling to the younger witch, she hadn't known Bellatrix to be afraid, except when she herself was tortured by Bellatrix. But she knew too that she could handle it if the situation ever came up.

"I don't think you will." Hermione said matter-of-factly.

Bellatrix gaped at her.

"Seriously, I don't think you would. Though you hurt Narcissa…there is a deeper connection there, a much older connection…I don't think you would hurt me." Hermione continued.

"But she is blood Hermione." Bellatrix argued.

"All the more reason for it to make sense, look, Narcissa is equal to you in skill and in intelligence, and well I may be equal in intelligence, my skill is no match for yours, though I think there was a subconscious choice for Narcissa to challenge you, to see who would win…and well I dare say that she did win." Hermione said.

"Well…yes she did win. But the fact of the matter is, I don't trust myself." Bellatrix admitted.

"I do." Hermione said simply.

Bellatrix moved off of the bed and stared out the window, it had started to snow again.

"Why? You are a fool, a brilliant fool, but a fool nonetheless." Bellatrix said wrapping her arms around herself for comfort.

The cold hadn't bothered her in a long time, not since Azkaban.

"I may be a fool, but I know that if you wanted to hurt me, you would have done so by now…not effortlessly bring me to orgasm." Hermione said.

Bellatrix could hear the smile in the younger woman's voice and she turned to face her.

"You enjoyed that did you?" Bellatrix asked, a smile gracing her lips.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Hermione asked in mock concern.

Bellatrix uncrossed her arms and tapped her chin in thought.

"Hmmm I don't know, I think I will need a re cap of events to figure out if you _really _did enjoy it." Bellatrix replied moving towards the bed.

Hermione swallowed, she couldn't keep her eyes off Bellatrix's hips, which were swaying as she walked closer and closer to the bed. Bellatrix leaned down and placed a kiss on Hermione's lips. Hermione moaned and pulled Bellatrix down on the bed.

"You said you wanted a recap…well here goes." Hermione said.

She straddled the older witch, and pressed her lips once more to Bellatrix's neck. Bellatrix moaned and ran her hands the length of Hermione's torso.

"I had an intense burning…" Hermione continued.

Bellatrix gasped as Hermione sucked lightly on her pulse point, lightly biting as she pulled away.

"And you made it go away." Hermione finished kissing Bellatrix once more on the lips.

Bellatrix moved her hand down the length of Hermione's legs, stopping at the wave of heat that met her hand at the apex of the younger woman's legs. She began to rub Hermione though the fabric of her slacks. Hermione threw her head back and moaned at Bellatrix took it one step further and unbuttoned her slacks, sliding her long fingers over her clit. Hermione ran her fingers though Bellatrix's curls and pulled her closer, moving her hips to the rhythm that Bellatrix had set.

"Yes…fuck…Bella…yes…" Hermione moaned.

Bellatrix frowned a little, she loved to hear Hermione as she pleasured her, but she was quick off the mark.

"_Much like Rodolphus." _ Bellatrix thought bitterly.

The loss of motion in Hermione's hips snapped Bellatrix back.

"Where did you go?" Hermione asked softly.

" I'm here M, I am right here." Bellatrix said resuming her stroking.

Hermione's mind went blank as Bellatrix pushed her palm against her center, that drew out a loud moan from Hermione who bucked her hips harder.

"Fuck…Bella…I'm…cumming!" Hermione moaned as her orgasm hit.

Bellatrix continued to rub as Hermione rode out her orgasm, shuddering and falling forward, so that she was lying on top of Bellatrix. She felt arms encircle her and she lay there panting. After a few minutes Hermione glanced at the clock.

"It's getting late." Hermione said.

Bellatrix looked over at the strange contraption that Hermione had referred to and closed her eyes. She never spent the night, she usually was the fuck once and leave type, she and Rodolphus didn't even sleep in the same room.

"Would you like me to leave?" Bellatrix asked.

"No, actually I want you to stay, but if you're not comfortable, then I won't force you. I want to do this at your pace." Hermione replied looking at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix considered the young woman for a moment, as much as she wanted to stay, she needed to see Narcissa, and to be alone to think for once. She hugged Hermione tight to her body, and Hermione knew that Bellatrix was going to leave.

"As much as I want to love…I think that it would be better if I left." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione sat up and rolled off Bellatrix getting to her feet. Her legs were shaking and her head was spinning.

"I understand Bella. We have made progress." Hermione said cheerfully.

Bellatrix got to her feet as well and straightened her skirt. They walked down stairs and Bellatrix put on her cloak.

"I will send you an owl." Bellatrix said.

"I had a really good time today." Hermione said softly.

Bellatrix smiled at the young woman's innocence.

"I did too…thank you for today." Bellatrix said pulling Hermione into a kiss.

"No, thank you." Hermione replied breaking the kiss.

Bellatrix hated long goodbyes so she opened the door and left without another word. Hermione watched as Bellatrix walked down the dark street and turned on the spot vanishing in a cloud of black smoke.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: Thank you all so much for the reviews! Keep on reading!

(Narcissa is playing Movement 3 of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata) I know that he is a Muggle composer…but let's just say that Narcissa knows good music when she hears it…And a word of warning…there will be some Lucissa in this chapter. I had to add the ice cream, though I am not so sure what flavor Narcissa would like, but honestly, you can't go wrong with chocolate. As always, reviews are love.

Wide Awake: Chapter 14

Narcissa sat her piano playing a song that she hadn't played in a long time, because she only played it when she missed Bellatrix, and now was one of those times. She had received a letter from her older sister the following morning, stating that she didn't need to apologize to Hermione and that she needed to stop ruling her love life, and finally that jealousy was an ugly color on her. Narcissa had sat the letter on top of the piano and glared at it as she played. The thing that hurt the most in the letter was that Bellatrix had no need for their intimacy now because Hermione gave her everything she needed. Narcissa knew that their relationship couldn't continue like that forever, but she had never expected it to end to abruptly. She heard the door open, but did not look up from her playing. She felt Lucius sit down on the bench beside her and pick up the letter in his hands.

"Cissa, I know that I can never replace Bellatrix, but I want you to know that I am still here, and that I love you." He said placing the letter back down.

He knew that he could never take the place of Bellatrix, but he was her husband, and therefore he cared about her. It didn't used to be like that, but in recent years he had really started to appreciate everything she had done for him and Draco over the years. She stopped playing, her chest heaving, she always got emotional when she played.

"I know Lucius…and I am sorry for being such a bitch about it." Narcissa said after a few seconds.

"There is no need to apologize Cissa. I know my place. She is your sister." Lucius said.

"But that doesn't give me the right to dismiss your feelings Lu." Narcissa said softly.

"That may be true, but let's be real here, I haven't exactly been the most faithful husband to you." He admitted.

"No you haven't." Narcissa agreed.

He could tell by her tone of voice that she had come to terms with his infidelity years ago. But that still didn't lessen the shame that he felt from all the times he had left her alone to go and be with his whore.

"So is it serious?" Lucius asked.

"Seems to be, I have honestly never seen her so happy before." Narcissa replied.

"I am just glad that she is gone." Lucius said.

Narcissa glared at him.

"I just meant that she is out of our home. It feels nice to have just you and me here, since Draco finally got his own place." Lucius said quickly.

"Ah yes, so the builders finally got it done did they? Good, I was afraid that I was going to have to fire them." Narcissa said relieved.

"Yes well Draco was happy to be out of here, you know he is thinking about proposing to Astoria." Lucius said.

"I had no idea! I guess I have been so wrapped up in Bella that I forgot about you two." Narcissa gasped.

"Yes well you were rather self absorbed." Lucius agreed.

"Never mind that now, I am no longer going to let her consume me, she has moved on with her life, and so should I. I should be happy for her, and I will be, but for now I just don't know what to feel." Narcissa replied.

"That is understandable, take all the time you need Cissa. I will still be here." Lucius said.

She smiled at him and placed a kiss on his lips.

"I love you so much." Narcissa whispered against his lips.

"I think I need a little more convincing. Could you kiss me again?" Lucius asked in a low voice.

Narcissa kissed him again, this time wrapping her arms around his neck, moving closer to him.

"Hmm I think I get the idea." Lucius said breaking the kiss.

"Good, because I think that I need to convince you a little more." Narcissa said standing.

A few minutes later they had ended up in their bedroom. Lucius kissed down his wife's neck, down across her collar bone. Narcissa moaned. He unclasped the button on her frock and pushed it off her, reaching behind her to pull down the zipper on her dress. She moaned again as his lips found her skin once more.

"You are so beautiful Cissa." He whispered against her neck.

She ran her hands through his long blonde hair, pulling him closer to her heated skin. She then pushed his shoulders back so she could remove his shirt, kissing the skin of his chest after every button was undone. He groaned as she took once of his nipples in her mouth and bit down lightly. He sat up and removed his shirt, reaching behind Narcissa to unclasp her bra. She gasped as cool air hit her exposed nipples; Lucius took one of them into her mouth, sucking lightly on it, kneading the other breast with one of his strong hands.

"Lucius…oh Lucius." Narcissa moaned as she felt his free hand move down her torso into the waistband of her knickers.

He lightly brushed the curls at the apex of her legs; Narcissa jumped and gripped his shoulders as he began to tease her clit. Biting her lip as he teased her opening.

"Don't tease me." Narcissa moaned and he pushed three fingers inside of her.

She moaned and began to move her hips in a rhythm to his hand. She could feel his manhood at full attention pressing against her thigh. She reached down and unbuttoned his pants setting his erection free. He groaned as she took it into her hands and began to stroke him as he pushed his fingers in and along her g-spot.

"Cissa…mmmm Cissa…" He moaned as she began to squeeze as she stroked.

She knew that he would soon be close, so she stopped and continued to enjoy his fingers inside of her, but she didn't want to reach orgasm so quickly. It had been a couple of weeks since Bellatrix had touched her…and though they were different people, the both knew her body well enough to know what she liked and didn't. She didn't want to orgasm to his fingers… that was for Bellatrix.

"Enough." Narcissa snapped.

Lucius stopped, thinking that he had done something wrong, but she rolled him over, pulling his pants all the way off, discarding her knickers in the process. He smirked at her, though she acted prudish and snobbish in public, he loved who she was behind closed doors, even after 25 years of marriage, she still surprised him.

"Cissa…" Lucius groaned as she kissed down his neck, sucking on his pulse point.

He wrapped his strong arms around her, running his hands down her back, placing them on her hips, but she resisted, he groaned, but Narcissa just continued her decent down his body. His hips jerked as her lips came impossibly close to his erection. Without missing a beat she wrapped her mouth and hands around it. He let out a load groan and tangled his fingers in her long hair. She moaned as his shaft filled her mouth.

"Touch…yourself…" He commanded as she continued her vigorous sucking of his member.

Narcissa moved her free hand down between her legs and began to push and rub on her clit as she continued to suck hard on his shaft; he pushed his hips up meeting her mouth. Narcissa could feel his shaft twitch and she knew that he was close. He seemed to realize that she was close as well and pulled her on top of him, slamming her down over his shaft, gripping her hips and pushing her back and forth.

"Fuck! Lucius!" Narcissa moaned loudly as his hands gripped her hips tighter.

"Cissa…yes, oh gods you feel so good." He moaned.

Narcissa moved her hands into her own hair, thrusting her hips forward. Lucius ran his hands up his wife's toned body, gently squeezing her breasts and pinching hard nipples between his fingers. He could feel her start to become increasingly wet and knew that she was close. Her moans of pleasure sending chills down his body.

"Cum for me Cissa…" Lucius said huskily looking up at his wife, whose eyes were closed.

Her mouth opened and she let out a gasp as she felt her orgasm start to move through her pelvis, traveling up her body.

"Fuck…ahnnn yes Lucius…Fuck me harder!" Narcissa moaned loudly.

Lucius thrust his hips up into hers, pushing himself deeper and harder inside of her, he could feel his own orgasm start to flow through his body.

"Cissa…fuck Narcissa!" He groaned as he gave another thrust, pushing her over the edge with him.

"I'm cumming…Lucius…Oh Lucius…" She moaned loudly collapsing on top him, panting and trembling.

Narcissa rolled off of him and snuggled up into his strong arms, she began to cry into his chest. Lucius just held her as she cried; not knowing what to say, but then again, sometimes words failed him, even if they were about Bellatrix.

"I'm sorry Lu." Narcissa said after a full ten minutes of crying.

"Don't worry about it Cissa…it was much too soon for this." He said rubbing small circles on her back.

"No, I should never put her before you…" Narcissa said.

"I know my place, as I have already stated." Lucius said.

"That doesn't excuse my obsession with my sister." Narcissa said curtly.

He hated these after sex fights, they were few and far between, but they still made him slightly angry. Narcissa had been with Bellatrix over the past few weeks, doting on her and making sure that she had everything that she needed, and he would be lying if he said that it made him feel slightly neglected, but he understood that the loneliness she felt from his absences over the years probably closed her heart slightly to him.

"Let's not talk about Bellatrix for now alright? I just had the best sex of my life and I am glad that it was with you Cissa." Lucius suggested.

Narcissa looked up at him; she smiled and kissed him again.

"How about some Dutch Chocolate ice cream?" He asked breaking the kiss.

"Sometimes you know just the right thing to say to me." She said.

"Well I like to think that I know you well enough to know when you need ice cream." He said proudly.

"Oh Lucius, you know me better than you think." She said smiling.

"So how about a pint?" He asked sitting up.

"Are you trying to ruin my figure?" Narcissa asked in mock indignation.

"You'll burn it off tonight." He replied smirking.

"Oh will I?" Narcissa asked raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"Yes, because we are going out. Both of us have been cooped up in this house for far too long, its time to get out. I thought we could go dancing." Lucius replied.

"Sounds like a brilliant idea!" Narcissa said excitedly.

"Good, get in the shower while I get your ice cream." He said putting on a pair of boxers.

He left the room and Narcissa made her way to the bathroom, but was distracted by a tap at her window, a magnificent eagle owl was sitting on the sill holding a letter in its beak. Narcissa walked over to the window eyebrows furrowed.

It was Bellatrix's owl.

She took the letter and the owl flew off.

"Guess she doesn't need to wait for a reply." Narcissa said bitterly opening the letter.

_Cissy,_

_I am coming over shortly, be waiting for me in the garden._

_-Bella-_

Narcissa rolled her eyes and didn't even bother to shower before dressing. She put on her coat and walked down the stairs, meeting Lucius on the way down.

"Going some where?" He asked holding two spoons and a pint of Dutch Chocolate ice cream.

"Bella said to meet her in the garden; I suspect that she won't be here long since she isn't coming inside. Don't worry. Let me take care of this and I will be up stairs shortly." She said placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Oh okay, hurry or I there will be no more left." He said smiling at her.

She rolled her eyes, swatting him on his backside as she made her way to the door. She walked for a few minutes to the spot she knew Bellatrix would be waiting for her. She stopped as Bellatrix's figure came into view, even if she was still angry, the sight of her sister still seemed to suck all the breath from her lungs.

"Hello Cissy." Bellatrix said brightly as her sister approached.

"Hey Bella." Narcissa said coming to stand in front of Bellatrix.

"The just fucked look suits you Cissy." Bellatrix said smiling.

Narcissa looked at her sister perplexed. She hadn't known Bellatrix to be so…well nice to her. She really had changed.

"Thank you Bella." Narcissa said blushing.

They stood in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry Cissy…for what I did." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"I can't say that I am." Narcissa replied crossing her arms over her chest.

Bellatrix wasn't surprised, when Narcissa was angry, she stayed that way for a while. But that didn't stop Bellatrix from wanting to apologize to her. Narcissa knew that this wasn't easy for Bellatrix, but that didn't do much to take away the angry feeling in her stomach as she looked at her sister's face.

"I'm not surprised. But I needed to come and see you." Bellatrix said softly.

Narcissa scoffed, she hated seeing the vulnerable side of her sister knowing that she couldn't do anything to comfort her any longer, that phase of their lives was over.

"So how was it?" Bellatrix asked.

"How was what?" Narcissa replied.

"The sex?" Bellatrix replied.

"Phenomenal." Narcissa said smiling.

Narcissa knew that Bellatrix hated to hear about her sex life with Lucius, but it wasn't something that they talked about very often. And for Bellatrix to ask was a big step for both of them. Bellatrix smiled back at her sister.

"So what is the real reason you came to see me?" Narcissa asked.

"Walk with me?" Bellatrix asked.

"I can't for long…I need to get back." Narcissa replied gesturing back towards her manor.

Bellatrix looked a little disconcerted but shrugged it off. It wasn't going to be normal for Narcissa to put her first anymore, and she didn't expect her to. Her baby sister finally looked happy, and though it was painful for Bellatrix to admit it, she knew that had a lot to do with her being out of the picture.

"I wanted to know…well what sorts of things to kids do these days?" Bellatrix asked awkwardly.

Narcissa laughed, Bellatrix glared at her.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Hermione now would it?" Narcissa asked.

"Well yes." Bellatrix said curtly, like it was obvious.

"You're asking me for dating advice?" Narcissa asked genuinely curious.

"I am shit at this Cissy, and everyone knows that you are a hopeless romantic." Bellatrix snapped.

She felt embarrassed asking her sister all of this, especially with everything that had happened between them in recent weeks, but it was a softer side of Bellatrix that Narcissa hoped she would see again.

"Have you taken her out yet?" Narcissa asked.

"I have…we went to lunch." Bellatrix replied.

"Did you give her flowers?" Narcissa asked.

"Yes, everlasting roses, you know the ones that you grow." Bellatrix replied.

Narcissa smiled, this seemed to anger Bellatrix.

"This isn't funny Cissy." Bellatrix said.

"I know, but it is cute. What did you do after the date?" Narcissa asked.

"We…went for a walk around London…we talked then went back to her place…" Bellatrix finished.

Narcissa raised her eyebrows, Bellatrix actually talked; Narcissa didn't have to ask to know what the nature of the subject was.

"And then?" Narcissa pressed.

"We talked some more." Bellatrix said evasively.

"You did it didn't you?" Narcissa said childishly.

"No! We didn't! Well not really." Bellatrix exclaimed.

"Ah so you're taking it slow." Narcissa said.

Bellatrix nodded, though she was irritated that Narcissa was making fun of her, she felt good knowing that she could see Narcissa's anger with her go away.

"Well that's good. Why don't you take her dancing or take her to the family vacation home?" Narcissa suggested.

"I can't take her to France! Not this soon." Bellatrix said hysterically.

"Calm down Bella, it was just a suggestion, so I would say take her dancing. You are a very, very good dancer." Narcissa said.

"I haven't danced in years Cissy." Bellatrix admitted.

"It's like riding a broom, you never forget. Just take her dancing." Narcissa said.

Bellatrix knew that the conversation was coming to an end.

"I will, possibly Friday after I see Luna." Bellatrix said finally.

"Luna?" Narcissa asked raising an eyebrow.

"Mione said that Luna needed to take over my case, it wasn't acceptable for us to be intimate while she was treating me, and so Luna agreed to take my case." Bellatrix explained.

"She is a smart young woman indeed." Narcissa said impressed.

"Like you didn't know that already." Bellatrix scoffed.

"Well it is even more apparent now." Narcissa replied dryly.

They stood in silence for a few minutes; the snow had started to fall again.

"You should get back to Lucius, I am sure he is missing you." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"I should." Narcissa said but she made no move to leave.

They looked at one another, there was a look in Narcissa's eyes that Bellatrix couldn't quite place, but she really didn't want to get into another fight with her baby sister.

"For what it's worth, I think you will be a wonderful partner." Narcissa said sadly.

Bellatrix moved forward and kissed Narcissa like her life depended on it, and Narcissa was surprised to taste salt.

Bellatrix was crying.

She kissed Bellatrix back, but she knew that it was a farewell kiss. A kiss saying that this was the end. They broke apart and Narcissa held Bellatrix in her arms for a few minutes, breathing in her smell.

"I am going to miss you Bella." Narcissa said holding her sister at arms length.

"It won't be the same being here, but I need to move on, and so do you. Thank you Cissy…for everything." Bellatrix said.

"You would do the same for me." Narcissa shrugged.

Bellatrix smiled and hugged her sister again.

"Bye Cissy, I will see you later." Bellatrix said walking away.

It was a surreal feeling Narcissa felt, watching her sister walk away from her. It felt like a small loss, like she was watching someone walk towards the unknown, knowing that she couldn't go with them. Hermione was good for Bellatrix, as much as it pained Narcissa to admit it. Her sister was finally happy and that was all she wanted for her. Narcissa stood there for a few minutes after her sister had disparated, frozen tears streaming down her face. Lucius watched from the window, smiling, he knew that he finally had his wife back.

Narcissa snapped herself out of her blank staring and went back inside the Manor, taking off her coat, joining her husband in their bedroom.

"Everything okay?" He asked watching Narcissa change into a pair of pajama pants and a tank top.

"I think that it will be Lucius, I think that it will be." She said climbing into bed next to her husband.

"Now, let's tuck in to this ice cream." He said taking off the top and handing her a spoon.

She smiled and they enjoyed their ice cream in the warm silence of their bedroom.

TBC…


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Okay so a little plot twist…I hope ya'll wont be too angry…I tried…honestly…okay and I know that Bellatrix may be moving through this forgive and forget stuff really fast…but she is trying for Hermione's sake. Please as always read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 15

A week had passed since Bellatrix had seen Hermione. The younger witch had thought she had done something wrong. Their first date had moved them too fast, and she was beginning to wonder if she had scared Bellatrix away. They didn't exactly have sex, but they almost had and she knew that even for herself that her actions were a little too bold. And the owl she had sent to Bellatrix still had gotten no reply. She glanced at her watch; it was time for her to go to work. She put on her coat and left her flat.

"Morning Hermione." Luna said greeting her friend brightly.

"Morning Luna." Hermione replied.

"I am seeing Bellatrix today." Luna said casually.

"Today is the day that she has been set on since the beginning." Hermione commented.

"I thought it best not to change the date. It seemed to be working good for her." Luna said getting to her feet.

"Yes, well I guess I will see you later, my first charge gets here in ten minutes." Hermione said walking into her office.

Luna nodded and went into her office as well.

Hermione sat her desk looking out the window, though it wasn't a real window, it still reflected the weather outside, and it wasn't looking promising. It would be weird to see Bellatrix in here, but not in her office, but she supposed that this was the best way for them to continue their relationship; after all, she had been the one who suggested it. Plus it was in the code of conduct, she wasn't allowed to do something like this, or she could lose her job. She sighed, then there as a knock at the door.

"Come in." She said getting to her feet.

Andromeda Tonks walked in and took a seat in one of the chairs.

"Morning Mrs. Tonks." Hermione said extending her hand.

But Andromeda stood and pulled her into a hug. Hermione was in shock, she hadn't really expected this. She hadn't really spent much time with the middle Black sister, so she wasn't sure what to expect.

"Sorry…I just couldn't help it." Andromeda said breaking the hug and sitting back down.

"It's quite alright." Hermione said sitting down as well.

There was a short pause.

"Cissy tells me that you are dating Bellatrix." Andromeda said breaking the silence.

"Yes, I am…well if that is what you want to call it." Hermione replied.

"She considers it courting no doubt. She has always been very old fashioned." Andromeda said.

There was another short pause.

"I didn't come here to ask about your relationship with my sister if that is what you are thinking. I came to you because…well because…I miss Ted." Andromeda said.

"I never thought that. I can understand why you are curious though. And I don't mind discussing it with you off the record. But if grief counseling is what you need, then that is why I am here." Hermione explained.

"Well I wasn't sure that I should even come, but Dora…she suggested you. Mainly because of what you have done for Bellatrix." Andromeda said.

"I see…well I am here to help." Hermione said reassuringly.

"She said that I could trust you. I mean I know that you can't disclose any of this as it is, but even so, she says that even if you weren't a therapist, you would still be trustworthy." Andromeda said.

Hermione wasn't sure how to respond to that. It was true though. She didn't go around telling every one the secrets of her friends or anyone else who had confided in her… that was Rita Skeeta's job.

"Let's get started then shall we?" Hermione asked, her pen poised on the top of her note pad.

Andromeda nodded and began to talk about her late husband, Ted Tonks.

Bellatrix walked into the office, wishing that she was going to see Hermione instead of Luna but she knew that it wasn't possible anymore, at least not a professional level. She didn't know much about this woman, except that like Hermione, she was an exceptional duelist.

"Good morning Mrs. Lestrange." Luna said brightly as Bellatrix walked into her office.

"You may call me Bellatrix if you prefer." Bellatrix said taking a seat in one of the chairs.

"It is up to you." Luna said sitting down as well.

"Bellatrix then." Bellatrix said shrugging.

A short silence passed between them. Bellatrix felt really awkward sitting here in front of Luna, she wasn't sure how much Luna already knew about her, then she noticed the note pad in her lap, it had Hermione's hand writing on it.

"Hermione gave you those?" Bellatrix asked pointing at the note pad.

"Yes, I needed some back ground information on you before I could proceed with your treatment, don't worry Bellatrix, this is only between us, and no judgment has been passed." Luna replied.

Bellatrix sat back in her chair, well of course Luna needed to know what she was dealing with, or else she wouldn't know what Bellatrix needed.

"I went to school with your parents." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"Daddy told me he was in the same graduating class at Hogwarts." Luna said.

"Both exceptional people, though they were a little…quirky." Bellatrix said.

Luna smiled at her.

"I heard about your mum, I am sorry for your loss." Bellatrix said.

"Thank you." Luna replied still smiling.

Luna was starting to see what Hermione saw in Bellatrix. This softer side was a surprise to Luna, who had only heard and seen the more terrible side of the ex-Death Eater.

"Shall we start?" Luna asked.

"Yes." Bellatrix replied.

"It says here that you left off at your capture." Luna said looking down at the notes.

"Yes, then I spent 14 years in Azkaban…I really do not wish to talk about those years." Bellatrix said.

"We don't have to…how about we start with after your break out." Luna suggested.

"I…I went to Cissy's. She fed me up, and nursed me back into the real world. It was a long stay in such a dreadful place…I had changed, she had changed… everything had changed." Bellatrix said.

"What kind of changes?" Luna asked.

"Well for one, the cold no longer bothered me. It still doesn't bother me too much…I couldn't eat very much, I had to take potions until I was strong enough to eat solid food, and I had forgotten…what she felt like." Bellatrix replied.

"What do you mean?" Luna asked truly curious.

"The feel of Cissy's skin…she had always been so soft…but I guess over the years she had lost weight. I couldn't blame her…She didn't have it too easy while I was away, and then caring after me…she neglected herself for a while…I mean I was a scary sight when I arrived at her Manor." Bellatrix replied.

"Did you two continue with your intimate relationship?" Luna asked boldly.

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows, Luna was much more forward than Hermione was with her questions, but she supposed that she needed to answer them just the same.

"Not at first…it took a little bit for me to get back into the swing of things…I had to be sort of…retrained…" Bellatrix replied.

"It also says Narcissa kept your wand, how did you feel when you got it back?" Luna asked.

"I felt powerful again. It was like opening your eyes for the first time, it was an amazing feeling. I casted curses and spells with pinpoint accuracy and I even had a small battle of wits with her, it was just a good feeling to have that part of me back again." Bellatrix replied.

Her face had lit up and she was glowing with pride at this memory. Luna began to make some notes to follow Hermione's. Bellatrix paid absolutely no mind to the scratching of Luna's pen and continued to speak.

"I was just happy to be out into the world again, to pick up where I left off. I missed Cissy…we spent many nights together…and then I had to return to business as usual when I was strong enough." Bellatrix continued.

"How was the Dark Lord? What were his thoughts on your return?" Luna asked.

Bellatrix looked at Luna, her eyes suddenly cold and black again. Luna wasn't fazed by this, it was an expected reaction.

"He was happy of course that his best lieutenant was finally by his side. Of course there was a long de briefing of the mission and what was expected of his Death Eaters. Rodolphus and I of course were back at the top of the ranks, He knew that we could still be depended upon." Bellatrix said coldly.

Luna made another note and flipped back a few pages.

"Did you continue to have an intimate relationship with the Dark Lord?" Luna asked.

"I did. But it was however, brief." Bellatrix replied curtly.

Luna made another note on her page and then looked back up at Bellatrix.

"His betrayal… that is what led you to side against him during the War?" Luna asked.

"It is…he said he loved me…he said he wanted me as his queen when it was all over…when we had won." Bellatrix replied.

"You have been betrayed in some way by everyone you have ever loved." Luna said.

It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact that Bellatrix could not deny. Her parents had been cruel to her, Narcissa never visited her in Azkaban, and Andromeda had left the family and married a Mudblood… The Dark Lord said he loved her, but he lied…and Hermione…well she wasn't sure if she loved Hermione, but there were definitely some strong feelings when it came to the younger witch.

"Love is not something that I throw around easily." Bellatrix said.

"That is understandable. Given everything that you have been through." Luna said.

"But I am trying…I feel like I have paid my debt to society…I knew that Cissy was lying when she said Potter was dead…I knew that he was alive…I killed Death Eaters…of course with my level of skill, it was impossible to tell who was taking them down in all the chaos." Bellatrix said.

Luna made some more notes on her paper. She looked at her watch.

"We are out of time for today." Luna said.

Bellatrix looked relieved as she stood to put on her cloak, she extended her hand.

"Thank you Luna." Bellatrix said.

"No, thank you for trusting me." Luna said taking Bellatrix's hand.

"Well if Mione trusts you, then I know that I can." Bellatrix said letting go of Luna's hand.

"Hermione is in her office if you want to see her, but I think she is with a patient, but you are welcome to wait in the waiting room for her." Luna said opening her office door.

Bellatrix nodded and left the office, choosing one of the chairs in the waiting room, and picking up an old issue of Witch Weekly.

"I just miss him so much…I don't know how I am supposed to go on without him." Andromeda sobbed.

"You will find a way Andromeda. Sometimes it just takes a little longer for some to get over a loss like this." Hermione said handing the older woman a tissue.

"Yes, but how? How can an almost 30 year marriage just end?" Andromeda asked.

"It isn't fair." She added bitterly.

"I don't think anyone expected something like that to happen…we all lost people in the war, but we can't be sad for them. We have to celebrate their lives and live ours to the fullest, show them that we are healthy and happy." Hermione said trying to suppress her own tears.

It was difficult not to put her arms around the older witch and console her, but she knew that Andromeda needed this; she needed to cry this out. It seemed that she had been keeping everything locking inside for a while.

"Think of Teddy, think of Dora. They are still here, and they still need you. I'm not saying to put your grief on the back burner, but just think of them and how much they need you." Hermione said.

"I love them both so much." Andromeda said sobering a little.

Hermione made a few notes on her note pad and glanced at her watch.

"We are out of time aren't we?" Andromeda asked.

"Unfortunately, but we can schedule another time if you feel like you need it." Hermione said pulling out her date book.

"I would like that." Andromeda said wiping her eyes.

Bellatrix sighed, absentmindedly flipping through the faded pages of the magazine she was holding, she never understood why Narcissa read these things, and they were awfully boring. She was snapped out of her musings when she heard Hermione's office door open. She stood and walked towards the office, but stopped as she saw her sister leaving. Andromeda stopped too and they just stared at one another. Hermione was unsure of what to say, she hadn't told Bellatrix that she was going to see Andromeda, but really it wasn't any of her business who she saw at work, it was her job, nothing more.

"Bellatrix." Andromeda said breaking the silence.

"Andromeda." Bellatrix replied.

"The years have been good to you." Andromeda said pleasantly.

"Same to you. You look well." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione could feel the tension slowly start to drain away as the two sisters moved closer to one another.

"I was wondering when I was going to get to see you. Cissy said that you were getting help…it takes a lot of courage." Andromeda said.

"It hasn't been…easy…" Bellatrix replied.

She felt strange seeing her sister, she hadn't seen her since before she left the family, not counting the picture she had seen on Hermione's mantel piece a few weeks ago.

"Well all the same…I have to get going, but maybe we could have tea sometime Bella…when you're ready." Andromeda suggested.

Bellatrix smiled. She smiled a genuine smile. And Andromeda smiled back. It had been far too long for both of them.

"I would like that Andy." Bellatrix said moving forward.

And to the surprise of everyone in the room, Bellatrix pulled Andromeda into a hug. Andromeda sighed and hugged her older sister tightly. They stood like that for several long minutes.

"Oh how I have missed you Bella." Andromeda whispered.

"I have missed you too Andy." Bellatrix replied.

They let go of one another and they were both crying. It seemed that Bellatrix had really started to open up and move forward with her life. Andromeda turned and winked at Hermione and she left the office, leaving the two witches alone.

TBC….


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: So I tried something totally different…lots of sexual content further down the page…you have been warned! I am taking their sex life slow…so hopefully this will be good for you guys; I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Oh btw I do not own the song, which is "Lights" by Ellie Goulding…it was the first song that came to mind for the two of them…please enjoy!

Wide Awake: Chapter 16

Bellatrix and Hermione stood in the awkward silence that Andromeda's departure had created. Hermione was in pins and needles, either Bellatrix was going to be pissed that she was seeing Andromeda or she was going to completely ignore the situation and talk about it later.

"I was wondering if you would like to go dancing tonight." Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

Hermione looked at Bellatrix is shock; she had not been expecting this.

"What? You thought I was going to be upset about you seeing Andy?" Bellatrix asked seeming to know what was bothering Hermione.

"Well yeah." Hermione replied.

"Well I will admit that it caught me off guard, but it's your job to help people, it doesn't matter who they are." Bellatrix said pulling Hermione into her arms.

Hermione closed her eyes, breathing in Bellatrix's sent. She had missed the feel of the other witch's arms around her; a week it seemed had proved too long for both of them to be apart from one another.

"Its one if the things that I admire about you Mione." Bellatrix said kissing her.

Hermione blushed and pulled Bellatrix closer, a low moan told her that she had done something right, they pulled apart a few seconds later, Hermione biting Bellatrix's lower lip.

"Mmmm have I told you that you are an amazing kisser?" Bellatrix asked.

"No I don't believe you have." Hermione replied in mock concern.

"Well you are." Bellatrix said kissing her again.

But they pulled apart quickly, if things got any hotter, they would have ended up in one if the chairs in the waiting room, naked.

"So have you given any thought to my offer?" Bellatrix asked following Hermione back into her office.

"You mean your offer to go dancing?" Hermione replied.

Bellatrix nodded.

"I would love to, though I can't…um dance very well." Hermione replied awkwardly.

"That is no problem, I can teach you." Bellatrix said waving an airy hand.

"Where are we going then? I don't know of many Wizarding dance places." Hermione said putting some paperwork into her brief case and closing it.

"Well…I was thinking…well that maybe we could go to a Muggle one…" Bellatrix said shifting her weight awkwardly from foot to foot.

Hermione stared at her in shock. She had never expected Bellatrix to want to be around so many sweaty Muggles in such an enclosed area. And in all honesty, Hermione wasn't too keen on it, but if Bellatrix was with her, then it would be okay with her.

"If that is what you want, I mean I don't go to clubs much myself, but this will be fun!" Hermione said excitedly putting on her coat.

"So we are going then?" Bellatrix asked unable to believe that Hermione was agreeing to this.

"Absolutely we are going! Damn, look at the time! We have to get ready!" Hermione said dragging Bellatrix out of the Ministry of Magic.

Once on the street the two women began to walk in the direction of Hermione's flat.

"I don't…what sort of things to Muggles wear to places like where we are going?" Bellatrix asked.

"Hmmm well I know what I am wearing…why don't you wear something low cut, and tight?" Hermione replied.

Bellatrix smirked sideways at her.

"Trying to get me turned on are you?" Bellatrix asked in a purr of a voice as Hermione fumbled with her keys.

"Possibly." Hermione replied opening the door.

And before she knew it, Bellatrix had her up against the door, one thigh between her own, pressing on her center, and her hands above her head.

"Mmmm Bella…oh god…" Hermione moaned as Bellatrix began to kiss down her neck that wasn't covered by her heavy coat.

Bellatrix could feel the heat coming from Hermione's core and didn't want this to be over so quickly, so she lightly sucked on Hermione's pulse point, marking her before letting go and moving away from her. Hermione groaned at the loss of contact, and stared at Bellatrix curiously.

"What is it Bella?" Hermione asked.

The tone of her voice suggested that she had done something wrong, and Bellatrix sensed this too, but did not bring up the subject of the 'quick to orgasm' speech that she had been rehearsing in her head for the past week. It wasn't that she was doing something wrong, it was just that Bellatrix wanted it to be as much pleasure for Hermione as it was for her. She knew how to fix the situation, but was reluctant to say anything so soon, plus it wasn't like they were having full on sex at this stage in there relationship as it was. Deciding that it was better not to ruin their evening she shook her head and moved towards Hermione.

"Nothing Mione. Don't worry about it. I will pick you up at 8." Bellatrix said placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

She left the flat leaving a totally confused Hermione in her wake. Hermione spent the next couple of hours thinking about why Bellatrix had left so suddenly. She had no clue and she replayed the situation over in her head while she dressed. She was just tucking into a glass of wine, when she heard her door bell ring.

"8 on the dot. Hmm at least she is punctual." Hermione said walking to the door.

She opened it and Bellatrix walked in, but she wasn't wearing her customary heavy black cloak, but black pea coat instead. Hermione looked at her smiling for a few seconds and then stepped aside so Bellatrix could close the door.

"You look beautiful Mione." Bellatrix whispered placing a soft, deep kiss on Hermione's lips.

Hermione was wearing a pair of skin tight jeans, and a blood red halter top, the red lip stick and flats she was wearing made Bellatrix stop kissing her and admire the view in front of her.

"I never understood these things." Bellatrix said running her hands appreciatively over Hermione's denim clad hips.

"They are very comfortable…maybe I will get you into a pair some day." Hermione said smiling at Bellatrix.

"Yeah, in a million years." Bellatrix snorted.

Hermione glanced at the clock.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" Hermione asked.

"I would love some." Bellatrix said following Hermione into the kitchen where she was given a glass of wine.

She chugged it in two gulps and put the glass back down in the counter.

"In a hurry are we?" Hermione asked laughing.

She knew it was more out of nerves than excitement, but she knew too, that this was a big step for Bellatrix and she wanted tonight to be as perfect as the last date.

"Where are we going?" Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

"I thought we could go to this place not far from here actually. I figured closer would be better incase…well incase we needed to leave early.

Bellatrix raised a raven eyebrow and smirked. This woman was smart, she really did think of everything. Hermione put on her coat and they left the flat. Walking the 15 minutes to the club that Hermione had indicated. Bellatrix could hear the pulsing of the music from inside the building, the door opened and a strong smell of sweat and alcohol drifted out onto the street. Bellatrix crinkled her nose in disgust.

"Don't worry Bella, you wont be able to smell anyone but me." Hermione said winking.

The young witch had something up her sleeve, she opened her coat and sprayed something over her body, and Bellatrix inhaled deeply, Hermione smelled divine. Smirking Hermione led Bellatrix to the front of the que, everyone was staring at Bellatrix, but she didn't mind so much, all she wanted was to get her hands on Hermione, once at the front the bouncer greeted them warmly.

"Ms. Granger." He said opening the rope to let them pass.

Hermione smiled at him and pulled Bellatrix inside. The club wasn't too packed, but just enough so that walking onto the floor was near impossible. Hermione and Bellatrix walked over to the bar, dropping their coats off at the counter before ordering their drinks. Hermione stopped, Bellatrix was stunning, her raven curls were as untidy as ever, but her body…the tight corset and skirt that she was wearing made Hermione's groin tighten with anticipation. The corset of course left little to the imagination, her ample cleavage was straining to break free. Bellatrix really knew how to dress.

"I don't suppose they have Fire Whiskey here?" Bellatrix asked leaning in close to whisper in Hermione's ear snapping her out of her staring.

"No, but they have something close." Hermione stammered over the swell of the music.

Hermione gestured to the bar tender and she ordered them each two shots of some amber liquid. She handed the small glass to Bellatrix. She tipped it back, Bellatrix followed wincing as the liquid stung her throat, but she didn't want to seem like a wimp in front of Hermione so she took her second shot and this time felt its effects immediately.

"What was that?" Bellatrix asked.

"Tequila." Hermione replied smiling deviously.

She ordered them each one more shot, paying the bartender with Muggle money. Hermione pulled Bellatrix on the dance floor and started to move. Bellatrix felt like she was suddenly alone in the room with Hermione, she couldn't see anyone else but her. The sensuous sway of her hips, had hands running over her body, forced a soft un heard moan escape her lips and she couldn't control herself any longer. Bellatrix closed her eyes and started to move to the music, letting it pulse through her. She had never done anything this bold before, and it was getting less and less uncomfortable as each song came and went. By this time she and Hermione had moved to the middle of the floor, all eyes on them.

_I had a way then losing it all on my own  
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown  
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat  
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me_

"You're making me hot Mione." Bellatrix whispered running her hands over Hermione's lithe body.

Hermione said nothing she just continued to dance, moving her hips against Bellatrix's as the song continued to pulse through them.

_You show the lights that stop me turn to stone  
You shine It when I'm alone  
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong  
And dreaming when they're gone_

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home  
Calling, calling, calling home  
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone  
You shine It when I'm alone

Home

Hermione moaned as Bellatrix began to move with her, leaning her back, and running her lips across her slightly sweaty neck. Bellatrix could Hermione's heart pounding in her chest, her pulse racing beneath her lips, she smiled. Hard nipples cut through Hermione's top, brushing the top of Bellatrix's breasts. Bellatrix moaned.

"Fuck…Bella…" Hermione moaned as she felt Bellatrix's hand move up her thighs, her hand rubbing against her groin.

Somewhere in the back of Bellatrix's mind, she knew that this wasn't appropriate in public, but looking around; she could see people practically fucking each other on the dance floor. Not to mention all the attention they were getting was a little unnerving, but she wasn't focused on anyone else but the beautiful woman in her arms.

_Noises, I play within my head  
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing  
And I think back to when my brother and my sister slept  
In an unlocked place the only time I feel safe_

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone  
You shine it when I'm alone  
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong  
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home  
Calling, calling, calling home  
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone  
You shine it when I'm alone

Home

Hermione moaned loudly, gripping Bellatrix's shoulders, moaning over the song, but no one heard them, but it was pretty obvious what was happening. Without thought, Hermione moved one of her hands up Bellatrix's skirt, fingering the fabric of her knickers, she felt Bellatrix inhale as Hermione moved the fabric aside and teased her hot entrance with her fingers. Bellatrix moaned, tightening her grip on Hermione's groin.

"Fuck Mione…" Bellatrix gasped as she felt her self begin to spasm.

She reprimanded herself for cumming so fast, but Hermione didn't seem to mind. In her post orgasmic euphoria she knew that this night was far from over. As the song began to climax she could feel Hermione's body start to convulse.

_Light, lights, lights, lights  
Light, lights, lights, lights  
Light, lights, lights, lights  
Light, lights_

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone  
You shine it when I'm alone  
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong  
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home  
Calling, calling, calling home  
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone  
You shine it when I'm alone

Hermione began to move against Bellatrix's hand as the music climaxed, she moaned loudly capturing Bellatrix's lips in an intense kiss as she came.

"Fuck…yes…" Hermione moaned breaking the kiss as the song came to a close and faded.

_(Home, home)Lights, lights, lights,_

_ Lights, Lights, lights, lights, lights_

_(Home, home)Lights, lights, lights,_

_ Lights, Lights, lights, lights, lights_

The song ended and they kissed again.

"That was…" Hermione breathed.

"Amazing." Bellatrix suggested finishing Hermione's sentence.

Hermione nodded and removed her hand from between Bellatrix's legs, bringing them to her mouth. The crowd around them cheered and Hermione kissed Bellatrix again.

"I need another drink." Bellatrix said taking Hermione's hand and leading her back to the bar.

They ordered more Tequila and danced to a few more songs until the heat from their bodies and arousal was too much to be going on with. They quickly grabbed their coats and left the club. Bellatrix was an experienced drinker, but whatever this stuff was made her feel slightly dizzy as the cold night air hit them. Hermione wrapped her arms around Bellatrix and turned on the spot, leaving the completely deserted street.

They landed on Hermione's bed, Hermione straddling Bellatrix's hips. They were furiously removing their coats and shoes. Hermione had fully removed her, shirt and Bellatrix's corset and blouse until she felt a hand close over her wrist. Bellatrix had seemed to sober a little.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, chest heaving.

"I don't want to do it like this." Bellatrix replied.

She let go of Hermione's wrist and could see the hurt and rejection in the younger witch's face.

"It has nothing to do with you Mione…I just don't want to do this drunk." Bellatrix said.

She knew all too well the consequences of drunken sex, though all of those times had been one night stands with no name people. She wanted her first time with Hermione not to be influenced by alcohol. Hermione seemed to understand what she was saying, and somewhere in the back of Hermione's alcohol infused brain, she knew that this was moving way too fast, and the Tequila was not helping control the burning she felt in her groin.

"But I know something we can do…" Bellatrix said leaning up to kiss Hermione.

She lightly squeezed Hermione's still covered breasts in her hands, forcing a soft moan from the younger woman's mouth. Bellatrix moved her hands around and unclasped her bra, allowing Hermione's breasts to fall free. Bellatrix stared in admiration as pink nipples grew rigid from the cold of the room. She took one in her mouth, lightly sucking and biting on it, while twisting the other in between her thumb and forefinger.

"Bella…" Hermione moaned.

Hermione's hands started running the length of Bellatrix's semi naked torso. She squeezed Bellatrix's covered breasts in her hands, feeling hardened nipples press against her palm. Bellatrix moaned and sat up so that Hermione could remove her bra. Bellatrix moaned as warm hands caught her breasts in their confines, lightly brushing thumbs caressing her painfully hard nipples.

"So what is this idea that you have?" Hermione asked kissing down the column of Bellatrix's throat.

Bellatrix gripped Hermione's hip and flipped them over. Hermione moaned as their naked breasts brushed against each other, their bodies growing hotter as their skin of their torsos touched.

"I. Want. You. To. Touch. Your. Self. As I. Touch. My. Self." Bellatrix said punctuating each word with a kiss on Hermione's hot skin.

Hermione blushed at this request. She hadn't really touched herself in front of anyone before. That was something she always did in private. But she seemed to figure out what this was about, and decided to speak her mind.

"Is this because I cum to fast?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix stopped her kissing of Hermione's neck and looked into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Yes." Bellatrix replied simply.

Hermione's face fell a little, she knew that she had always been quick to cum with other people, but not with herself, she figured that Bellatrix knew this and so that is why she hadn't said anything before now, and so suggested that they try this instead of anything else.

"It isn't a bad thing Mione…don't think about it like that…I just mean that sometimes we get overly excited when we are touched by other people that we are so focused on getting there before actually taking time to enjoy the sensations the other person is giving us." Bellatrix explained.

Hermione mentally kicked herself, of course she knew that. She had read many books on the subject of self pleasure and the pleasure of others, but never put it into practice; she hadn't had very many partners. But then again, Bellatrix was older, and probably had a considerable amount of experience on the subject, so of course she would want to teach Hermione all of this. Sex was a way that she figured Bellatrix let out her most intense feelings, because well…that was the case for her.

"Don't worry Mione; I will talk you through it. Then maybe…next time…you can talk me though it." Bellatrix said snapping the younger woman out of her musing.

Hermione nodded and Bellatrix sat up sitting on her knees in front of Hermione.

"Run your hands over your nipples." Bellatrix said.

Hermione did so.

"Focus on the feeling your thumbs give your nipples as you run them over your breasts." Bellatrix instructed.

Hermione closed her eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed, but she knew that the more embarrassing lesson was to come. But always the dutiful, insufferable, know-it-all that she was, she couldn't pass up a learning opportunity like this. She noticed how her nipples grew hard beneath her fingers, she took it a step further and gave them a sharp tug, letting out a gasp as she felt her groin tighten. Bellatrix watch in dutiful fascination as Hermione took things into her own hands; she didn't seem to really need the instruction, just the motivation.

"_Well I am the perfect motivation." _Bellatrix thought to herself as she saw one of Hermione's hands start to move down her body, past her abs to the waist band of her jeans.

Bellatrix murmured something Hermione couldn't hear and her jeans disappeared, Leaving her clad in only her black lace underwear, which she had chosen to wear just for the occasion. Bellatrix smiled. Hermione was beautiful. Not wanting to make Hermione feel too exposed she divested herself of her own skirt, leaving her in the black lace knickers hooked to a garter belt.

"Lingerie…I wasn't expecting that." Hermione breathed looking at Bellatrix's almost nude body.

She wanted very much to reach out and touch Bellatrix, but decided against it. Bellatrix didn't look entirely comfortable with this arrangement, but Hermione knew she would get over that eventually.

"I wore it for you…I wasn't sure what you like, so I went with what I like." Bellatrix shrugged.

Hermione smiled.

"Now, spread your legs…let me see you." Bellatrix commanded huskily.

Hermione blushed furiously. This was a big step for her, she hated being naked in the first place, but she knew that she could trust Bellatrix.

"You are so beautiful Mione." Bellatrix whispered taking in Hermione's body.

Bellatrix could see that Hermione was soaking wet and she couldn't help but moan as Hermione's hand moved down further past the curls to touch her clit.

"Wait, don't do that yet…I know that is what sets you off." Bellatrix said abruptly.

Hermione pulled her hand back, awaiting her next instruction.

"Circle your opening…don't enter yourself until I tell you." Bellatrix said after a few seconds.

Hermione blushed at the words, but did as she was told, she knew that if she had touched her clit, she would have cum by now, it seemed that Bellatrix was a very observant lover, though they hadn't really done anything as bold as this so far.

"Moan for me…" Bellatrix commanded again.

Her breathing was labored, she knew that she wouldn't last much longer, but she wanted to be a good example for her charge, so she refrained from touching herself until she knew the time was right.

"Mmmm Bella…yes…it feels good." Hermione moaned and she was surprised to hear how sensual her voice sounded.

It was a new sound, but a sound that sent her body into overdrive, every nerve ending was on fire. She heard Bellatrix moan and looked up to see a hand between Bellatrix's legs.

"Push two fingers inside of yourself, but do not…touch your clit." Bellatrix said in a throaty whisper.

Hermione could tell that Bellatrix was having a difficult time controlling herself. She could smell Bellatrix's arousal, and that made her own shoot through the roof. She couldn't believe that someone like her could do this to someone like Bellatrix. She wanted to see Bellatrix come undone, wanted to hear her cum when she did. These thoughts and the visual of Bellatrix pleasuring herself were becoming too much to handle.

"Please…Bella…may I touch my clit…" Hermione moaned as she pumped her fingers harder inside of herself.

Bellatrix smiled, she never pegged Hermione for the submissive type, but then again, none of this was something she was expecting to happen.

"Since you asked so nicely…yes you may. But you have to do it slow." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione groaned and moved her other hand from her breast down to her clit. She brushed her fingers over the little bundle of nerves and her hips jerked violently. She knew that she wasn't going to last long, but was determined to make it last as long as she could.

"Yes…fuck your cunt…let me hear you." Bellatrix said softly trying her utmost to keep her hands from leaving her own to touch Hermione's.

"Bella…Bella…oh god….fuck!" Hermione moaned.

She could feel herself start to cum, but slowed her pace in order to keep herself from cumming before Bellatrix. Bellatrix seemed to realize what Hermione was doing and smiled. Yes, she was getting the concept rather quickly. Bellatrix couldn't take much more of this, by this time she had gotten on all fours, one hand between her legs fingering her cunt into reckless abandon. She no longer cared what happened, all she wanted was release, and she knew that Hermione needed it as well.

"Cum for me love…cum with me." Bellatrix said, her breath coming out in short pants.

Hermione began to pick up the pace once more and added another finger to accompany the two that were already inside of her. She could feel the wave start in her belly and move down to her clit before she gave one last hard rub of her clit.

"Fuck! Bell….Bellatrix!" Hermione moaned loudly as she felt herself cum around and down her hand.

Her hips jerked and as she came for a second time she could hear Bellatrix's small moans of pleasure as her hand worked furiously between her own legs, her eyes were closed and her face was screwed up in concentration. Raven curls fell round her face and a light sheen of sweat glazed her fore head. Hermione had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. Just then Bellatrix's mouth opened in a silent gasp before she shuddered and her body started to jerk.

"Shit…oh gods…Hermione…!" Bellatrix moaned loudly as she bucked her hips hard against her hand.

Hermione could hear the squelch of Bellatrix's juices as they leaked onto Bellatrix's hand. Then with one last thrust Bellatrix pitched forward, falling onto the bed with a gasping groan. She lay there panting heavily for several long minutes, Hermione snuggled up against the older witch and Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Hermione. They lay there in blissful, post orgasmic euphoria for a long while.

"I am not sure what to say about all this." Hermione said breaking the silence.

"You are a good student." Bellatrix commented holding Hermione closer.

Bellatrix's heart rate slowed and her breathing had returned to normal. This was the part Hermione feared the most, Bellatrix leaving. She wasn't ready for their date to end. Bellatrix seemed to be thinking the same thing because she rolled over and kissed Hermione softly.

"I will stay tonight. On the condition that we just sleep." Bellatrix said seriously.

"Of course. Plus I am much too tired to do much else." Hermione said smiling.

Bellatrix gave her a weak smile and got off the bed.

"Bathroom." Bellatrix muttered picking up her bra and walking to the bathroom.

Hermione rolled her eyes and got up off the bed, she rummaged in her dresser for a pair of pajama pants and a tank top for Bellatrix to wear, and found a pair of pants and tank top for herself. A few minutes later Hermione handed Bellatrix the pile of clothes.

"I figured you would need something to sleep in." Hermione said.

"I usually sleep naked. But thank you, these will do." Bellatrix said taking the clothes from Hermione.

"I'm just going to change." Hermione said taking her own clothes into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Bellatrix stared at the clothes for a minute, she had never worn pants before, it always seemed such a strange thing to wear, women in her class never wore pants, but she figured if Narcissa could do it then so could she. Bellatrix dressed and climbed into bed to wait for Hermione.

Hermione stared at herself in the mirror. She felt like a new person, though they hadn't done much except pleasure themselves in front of one another, it was still a cataclysmic event to the younger witch. She supposed that it was the Tequila that had made her so bold like that, and she resolved to make sure that the next time they did this, that she was 100% sober. She shook her head, dressed, went to the bathroom and went to join Bellatrix in the bedroom.

"Bout time, I was getting worried." Bellatrix said smiling as Hermione emerged from the bathroom five minutes later.

"I was…I was just over thinking things as usual." Hermione replied getting into bed next to Bellatrix.

"What is on your mind love?" Bellatrix asked concerned.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about tonight." Hermione replied.

"It was quite a night." Bellatrix agreed pulling Hermione into her arms.

"Thank you." Hermione said.

"Anytime Love. Get some sleep." Bellatrix said kissing the top of Hermione's head.

Hermione snuggled closer to Bellatrix, draping an arm over her stomach. After a few minutes of silence, Hermione lay there in the dim light, listening to Bellatrix's slow, deep breathing.

Bellatrix had fallen asleep.

Hermione smiled and whispered something that made the lights go out. She snuggled even closer to Bellatrix and fell asleep.

TBC…..


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: Thanks to all my awesome reviewers! I know this is moving slow for some, fast for others…but I am trying to make this in real times…sorry for all that guys. This chapter is slow, and it may be too quick for Bella to say all this…but I can't drag this story out forever, as much as I want to! As always, read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 17

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling better than she had in a long time. Being in Bellatrix's arms felt right, she was warm and soft, and the sound of her slow, deep breathing was comforting. Hermione noticed that Bellatrix had draped one of her arms across her stomach, it was her left arm. Hermione was curious. So she gently turned the older woman's arm.

It was clean.

The Dark Mark was gone.

She felt Bellatrix stir and she quickly moved her hand away from her arm. But she didn't wake up she just rolled over. Hermione smiled and quietly got out of bed. She padded down the stairs and into her kitchen, just then her phone rang.

"Hello?" Hermione answered.

"Hey Hermione." A voice said.

It was Ginny.

"Hey Gin, what's up?" Hermione asked busying herself with the tea kettle.

"I was just wondering if you would like to come over for dinner tonight." Ginny asked.

Hermione was silent for a long time, she wasn't sure if they knew that she was dating Bellatrix, she hadn't gotten around to telling them that it was official. Ginny seemed to sense this because she spoke, breaking the silence.

"You can bring Bellatrix, that is, if she wants to come." Ginny said quickly.

"But what about Harry? There is no way that I would bring her around him…I know how he feels about it." Hermione asked.

"I talked to him. And honestly, I think he is on the fence about it, but if she is making you happy, then that is all that matters to him, you know that." Ginny said.

"That still doesn't answer my question." Hermione said.

"Bring her." Ginny said firmly.

"Okay, okay fine. But if there is an issue, she and I will leave. There is no sense on making everyone uncomfortable because I decided to fall in love with an ex-Death Eater." Hermione said finally.

"So…you have finally admitted that you are in love?" Ginny asked with a smile in her voice.

Hermione fell silent. Bellatrix was standing in the door way, an odd expression on her face.

"Mione you still there?" Ginny asked on the other end.

"Yeah, look Ginny I got to go. I will see you guys tonight." Hermione said and she hung up the phone before Ginny could say anything.

Bellatrix eyed the phone curiously as Hermione sat it back down on the counter, then she looked up at Hermione.

"So…you are in love with me?" Bellatrix asked casually trying to gloss over the awkwardness her appearance had made.

"I…well yes…but I avoided saying it to you…well because I don't know how you feel about it." Hermione stammered.

Bellatrix said nothing, she just took a seat at the kitchen table, and Hermione poured them some tea and handed a cup to Bellatrix who took it. Hermione then sat down at the other end of the small table, looking apprehensive.

"I don't throw it around easily." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"I also don't say it to just anyone." She added taking a long sip of her tea.

It was very good.

"I don't fall in love easily." She continued, "Because I have been betrayed by everyone that I have ever loved. So you can understand why I am reluctant to give in so quickly." She finished taking another sip of her tea.

Hermione nodded, tears started to fill her eyes. The past few weeks had been the best of her life and she felt that she had just broken everything that had passed between them. But the look on Bellatrix's face told her otherwise, it was like she was finally seeing that she was worth something to someone she knew that she could trust.

"I understand why you want to say it. But I think that it is much too soon for it." Bellatrix said.

"I'm sorry you had to hear it like that." Hermione said softly.

"I hope to hear it again someday, but in a different way. Things are going slow, and I know that it is difficult for you to go at this pace." Bellatrix said.

"No, no! I like this pace. I think that it is good for us. I know this whole transition…this whole thing hasn't been easy for you…and I just couldn't help at wonder if the only reason that we are together is…well because I was there to help you through this…and once you are better…that you wont need me anymore." Hermione explained.

This time she couldn't control the tears that had been building up while Bellatrix was speaking and she burst. Bellatrix sat there, looking across the table at her sobbing lover. Hermione's concern was legitimate, and Bellatrix wasn't sure if she could honestly answer the question at this moment, but she had to. She had never felt this way about someone before. What they had shared last night…well that was something major for both of them. And it was arguably the best night of her life, and she wanted to have many, many more with the younger witch.

"Hermione look at me." Bellatrix said as she moved to kneel down next to the sobbing brunette.

Hermione lifted her head, rubbing the tears off of her face with the back of her hand. She locked eyes with Bellatrix.

"I didn't mean to upset you. And no, I am not with you because of all of this. I am with you because I trust you completely. I have let you in slowly, well because I am afraid, but I realize that I don't have to be afraid with you. I am sure that you have had your fair share of heart break, and that being with someone like me…well it can be difficult." Bellatrix said.

"Someone like you?" Hermione asked perplexed.

"Well…with my past…what I have done…you know all of that. My family, my upbringing. The fact that I am filthy rich, and I have no need for all that money. Oh Hermione there are many reasons why you shouldn't be with me. My temper gets the best of me sometimes, and I have hurt Cissy, who's to say that I won't hurt you?" Bellatrix asked.

This time it was Bellatrix's turn to start crying.

"Okay, one, I know about your family. Two, I don't care that you are filthy rich, I can and have made my own money, I can support myself. Three, your past isn't something that I am focusing on, because you are not the same person that you were back then. If you were then you wouldn't be here telling me all of this. Four, your temper is something I can deal with, you have obviously haven't seen me on my period. Five, I know that you wont hurt me because, well if you wanted to you would have done it already." Hermione explained.

"Not to mention…the age difference…you're so young Mione." Bellatrix said interrupting Hermione's speech.

"I don't care about that. I want to be with you. I chose you. That should be enough. I have lived my life, been through things that most people, even your age have never been through or faced. I know what my heart wants, and I want you." Hermione said.

Bellatrix considered Hermione's words. She had never heard such conviction behind words like that before in her life. And that was one of the things she loved about the younger witch. And it was true, she had faced more than most her age, seen and done more things than most. She was an intelligent, funny, skillful young witch and she could handle herself.

"So just as long as I don't catch you on a bad day, everything with your…um…period should be fine?" Bellatrix asked.

She couldn't help but suppress a grin at the look of indignation on Hermione's face.

"I don't think _that_ it will be any of your concern. I can more than handle it." Hermione said trying to suppress a laugh.

"I haven't had one in so long, I don't even know what it's like…but I guess the mood swings I will have to watch out for. Young people can be so hormonal." Bellatrix said in mock exasperation.

"Well older people are much grumpier." Hermione retorted.

"Oh you haven't seen grumpy yet." Bellatrix said placing a kiss on Hermione's lips.

"Suppose that is something I have to look forward too." Hermione said breaking the kiss.

Bellatrix smiled, and she stood.

"You look rather good in my clothes." Hermione said admiring the way Bellatrix's curves filled out the pants and tank top.

"I guess I could get used to them. I suppose I am passed the days of long night gowns and robes." Bellatrix said looking down at her body.

"But you said you sleep naked." Hermione said.

"I do. But I didn't always…you know with younger siblings…we didn't always want to be caught in our birthday suits…oh and god forbid mum catching us naked…she was such a prude, everything had to be proper all the time." Bellatrix explained.

Hermione just listened. She hadn't gotten to the subject of Bellatrix's parents yet, it was fascinating imagining her lover as a child, as having a childhood. Before all the bad stuff, back when the world was simple. But she supposed that life was never simple for a Pure-Blood even if they were children.

"It couldn't have been easy." Hermione said.

"It was sometimes. But others not so much…so what is this I hear about going to dinner?" Bellatrix asked changing the subject.

Hermione knew that the conversation was over. She made a mental note to find out more about it at a later time, when Bellatrix was ready.

"Oh, Ginny invited us. She said Harry was fine with it." Hermione replied.

Bellatrix's face fell. She wasn't so sure if she wanted to go. They were Hermione's friends and she didn't want to be the reason why she never saw them.

"Bella…look don't worry, they know about us. I am guessing Tonks told them, or they figured it out for themselves. If Harry and Ginny didn't want you there, they would have told me to come without you. Or not at all." Hermione said.

Bellatrix didn't look convinced. Hermione sighed and got up from the table.

"What if I don't want to go?" Bellatrix asked.

"Then I won't go." Hermione replied simply.

Bellatrix shook her head.

"I don't want to be the reason that they never want to see you. I don't want to be the reason that you never get to go out with them, or see them." Bellatrix said.

"You won't, Harry and Ginny are two of my best friends. Ron and the others as well, and all they want is to see me happy…" Hermione said.

"Well the second that there is trouble, I am leaving with or without you." Bellatrix said.

"Deal." Hermione nodded in agreement.

They kissed again.

"I should get going." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.

"Do you have to?" Hermione asked.

"I have some things to take care of before tonight." Bellatrix said dismissively.

Hermione didn't ask what those things were.

"Just a question…what do you do all day?" Hermione asked.

"Read mostly. Or write, I keep a diary. Sometimes I go for long walks on the estate. I have a garden. Just depends on my mood." Bellatrix replied.

"Maybe we could go for a walk sometime." Hermione suggested.

"Perhaps…I would like to show you the garden." Bellatrix said.

Hermione smiled. They walked upstairs and Bellatrix changed back into the clothes she had on the night before, putting on her heels and pea coat.

"Don't worry love; I will be back here before you know it." Bellatrix said kissing Hermione again.

"Can you be here around 6?" Hermione asked.

"You got it." Bellatrix replied.

They walked down the stairs, and Hermione opened the door. It had started to snow again.

"I will see you tonight." Bellatrix said.

"Bye." Hermione said.

Bellatrix walked down the few steps and on to the street. Hermione watched her walk all the way down to the end; turn down an alley, and out of sight.

TBC…


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: Bellatrix's dinner attire was inspired by the same outfit Helena Bonham Carter wore to the 2011 Oscars…the very same, I think that it is Bellatrix….Just thought you guys should know, incase you need a visual. I think it's beautiful. As always thank you for the reviews!

Wide Awake: Chapter 18

Bellatrix arrived back at her manor on pins and needles. She really didn't have anything to take care of, she had just told Hermione that because she needed to be alone to think, and being around the young woman made that difficult because her hormones went into overdrive. She walked around her empty manor, going from room to room thinking. It really was too soon for her to meet Hermione's friends. Though she already knew who they were, and they knew her, but this was going to be a party, quite a different setting than the Department of Mysteries, or Hogwarts Castle.

Then there was the other thing, what to wear? Hermione didn't say what kind of dinner party it was. Things like this were not new to Bellatrix because she grew up in one of the oldest and most wealthy families in the Wizarding world. Dinner parties and social events were part of the territory. She and her sisters were always bored and hated being around the adults, but as they grew up, they started to understand what it was all about. Being wealthy and powerful was something to be proud of. She shook the thoughts from her head as she entered her bedroom. She hadn't been in here in a while, not since she had scared Hermione in one of their secessions, when she left Hermione each night, she didn't go home; she transfigured herself and got a room at the Leaky Cauldron. She figured the deception would be much less hassle than if she walked in there bold and proud of whom she was.

She flipped through her wardrobe. It was all the same color; Black. Her mother used to reprimand her for always wearing black, but it was her favorite color.

"I need a new wardrobe." Bellatrix muttered to herself.

"Yes you do." A voice said from the door way.

"Cissy what are you doing here?" Bellatrix asked not looking at her sister.

"Nice to see you too Bella." Narcissa said coolly walking into the bedroom.

It was clean and tidy as always, Narcissa noticed that Bellatrix's bed hadn't been slept in, she never made it, it was always in disarray, at least all the times she had seen it.

"How long have you been home?" Narcissa asked.

"Only a couple of hours." Bellatrix replied still looking through all her clothes.

"Okay, how long has it been since you have been home?" Narcissa asked.

"What is with the twenty questions Cissy, for fucks sake what do you want?" Bellatrix snapped turning to face Narcissa.

"I haven't heard from you in a few days, I was worried about you Bella." Narcissa replied.

"You worry too much." Bellatrix snapped turning back to her wardrobe.

Narcissa moved further into the room and she sat down on Bellatrix's bed. It occurred to her that she had never really been inside Bellatrix's room before, just the few glimpses here and there when she would visit long ago, and it was always neat, except for the bed.

"I may worry about you, but I love you Bella and I want to make sure that you are okay." Narcissa said running her hand over the bed spread.

It was very soft, and very expensive, even for Narcissa.

"I am fine. I am just dealing with some things, and I think that I can handle it on my own." Bellatrix said, her voice softening.

She never could stay mad at Narcissa for long; she always had a soft spot for her baby sister.

"She is seeing Andromeda at her office." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"I know, Andy came by the other day to tell me that she was going to get some counseling because…well because of Ted's death." Narcissa said.

She knew that this was going to be a touchy subject for the older witch. She was fiercely protective and Narcissa knew that she wasn't going be so open to talking about their sister.

"I know, Hermione explained to me about Andy, I am not upset with her about it. I was just caught off guard, and you know how I feel about that, it isn't something that I take easily. I hate this feeling and I hate not knowing what to expect." Bellatrix said.

"That is because you are a control freak." Narcissa said.

"That is like the pot calling the kettle black, Cissy." Bellatrix quipped.

"I have gotten better in recent years….since my home was invaded and threatened for a few years." Narcissa said darkly.

Bellatrix didn't respond she just continued to look through her wardrobe, her hands running over the fabric of expensive silk gowns, and leather corsets. Narcissa watched her curiously; she had never taken this much time searching for something to wear.

"What are you looking for?" Narcissa asked.

"Something to wear tonight." Bellatrix replied simply.

"Where are you going? On another date with Hermione?" Narcissa asked curiously.

"We are going to dinner." Bellatrix replied.

"Where?" Narcissa asked.

"Harry Potter's." Bellatrix replied.

Narcissa nearly fell off the bed from pure shock. She never expected Bellatrix to agree to something like. Bellatrix turned to face Narcissa, tears in her eyes.

"What if they don't like me? What if they stop seeing Hermione because of me? I can't ruin this for her." Bellatrix said.

Narcissa's heart broke; she had never heard so much sadness and fear in her sister's voice before. Bellatrix's fears were legitimate, and Narcissa figured that if Hermione was afraid of being rejected that she wouldn't have agreed to take her.

"Bella, if Hermione's friends didn't want you there, they wouldn't have asked her. And I am sure that if she wanted to, she could have gone without you, but she didn't, obviously she wants you there with her. If they don't like you, well then they are missing out. Because you are a different person…you are the way you used to be. Not the insane Bellatrix, but the smart, funny, and amazing woman that you are." Narcissa said.

By this time silent tears were running down Bellatrix's face, Narcissa got up off the bed and pulled Bellatrix into her arms. Bellatrix broke down. Everything was hitting her. Everything, all the anxiety, and fear she had every time she was around Hermione was starting to go away and this wasn't something she was used to. The comfortable feeling she was now starting to feel was scaring her, those three words that she had forbidden herself to say were starting to become a reality to her. Narcissa continued to hold her sister while she cried, rocking her slowly.

"Bella, you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else." Narcissa said pulling back and holding Bellatrix at arms length.

"You know that I don't love myself Cissy." Bellatrix said.

"You will. When you see what I see…what Hermione sees." Narcissa replied softly.

Bellatrix didn't say anything; she just turned back to her wardrobe and pulled out a black long sleeve corset halter and a black skirt.

"Will you do my hair?" Bellatrix asked turning back to Narcissa.

Narcissa smiled and pulled out her wand, Bellatrix sat down at her vanity and Narcissa proceeded to fix Bellatrix's hair.

Hermione rummaged through her closet for the better part of three hours trying to find something to wear, usually she just wore jeans, but she wanted to look nice for Bellatrix. Though she was sure that Bellatrix would like whatever she was wearing, she had even liked the jeans, but Hermione wasn't going for casual this time. Finally she decided on a black dress that fell slightly below her knees and had think straps on her shoulders.

"Bella will like this." Hermione said smiling as she laid it down on her bed.

She glanced at the clock, it was 5:30. She jumped and ran into the bathroom to take a shower she knew that Bellatrix would be on time.

Bellatrix looked over herself in the mirror. Narcissa had chosen to put her raven curls up, leaving a few to fall around her face, and an ornate black diamond and onyx necklace to finish the outfit.

"You look beautiful Bella." Narcissa said softly.

"Thank you Cissy, I couldn't have done it without you." Bellatrix said putting on her cloak, placing her wand in the inside pocket.

Narcissa looked at Bellatrix for a few minutes, tears stinging her eyes. She felt this way when Draco moved out; she wasn't so sure why she felt the same way with Bellatrix. She supposed because she had been taking care of Bellatrix for so long that now, Bellatrix could do things for herself now.

"Go get her Bella." Narcissa said turning to leave the room.

"Cissy…I…" Bellatrix started.

"I know Bella, I know." Narcissa said leaving the room.

Bellatrix stood rooted to the spot for a few minutes. Narcissa probably went home to cry. Bellatrix looked at herself one more time, and applied her deep maroon lipstick. After she was satisfied with her shoes she turned on the spot vanishing in a cloud of black smoke.

She arrived at Hermione's flat a little before 6; she knocked but got no answer. She waved her wand and unlocked the door, walking inside and closing it behind her. The lights were on, and nothing seemed to be disturbed. So she continued to walk through the flat finally stopping at the stairs, she heard the water running.

"She's probably in the shower." Bellatrix said walking up the stairs.

She stopped at Hermione's bedroom; she could see steam coming from the bathroom. Deciding that it was best if she waited downstairs she closed the door and went into the sitting room, selecting a book and sitting down in one of the chairs by the fireplace.

Hermione shut off the water, allowing the hot steam to settle around her body. she sighed in relief as she got out of the stall and put a towel around her body. But she stopped dead as she left the bathroom. Her bedroom door was closed, and a familiar perfume was lingering in the air.

"Bella is here." Hermione said to herself as she hurried to get dressed.

She waved her wand and her hair straightened and dried. She applied a little bit of make up, put on her shoes and walked down the stairs. She stopped when she saw Bellatrix sitting in one of the armchairs reading a book. One that she had read more times than she could count.

Hogwarts: A History.

"Bella." Hermione said as she walked into the room.

Bellatrix closed her book and stood. Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she laid eyes on her lover. Bellatrix was gorgeous. The curls around her face, the ornate necklace on her throat, the black velvet corset made Hermione want to stay home and make endless love to her.

"Now that you are done undressing me with your eyes, hello Mione." Bellatrix said smiling at the younger witch.

"Sorry…I just, you look beautiful." Hermione said moving to stand in front of Bellatrix.

"You are equally as beautiful." Bellatrix said kissing Hermione lightly on the lips.

"I miss you." Hermione said breaking the kiss.

"I missed you too Mione." Bellatrix said.

They stood in silence for a few minutes.

"What are you thinking?" Bellatrix asked.

"About how much I would like to put you on that couch and make endless love to you." Hermione replied boldly.

She blushed at that remark, but Bellatrix didn't seem to notice. She looked at the clock on the wall.

"What time is the party?" Bellatrix asked.

"At 7." Hermione replied.

"Well I think we have some time before we have to leave." Bellatrix said coolly.

Hermione smiled, she and Bellatrix were thinking the same thing. Hermione pulled Bellatrix to the couch and straddled her hips, being careful not to mess up their outfits. Hermione began to kiss down Bellatrix's neck, forcing a small moan to come from the older witch's throat.

"Mione." Bellatrix moaned softly.

The feel of Hermione's weight on her, and her lips on her neck were causing the wetness that had settled in her groin at the sight of Hermione, was slowly beginning to ache.

"You taste so good Bella." Hermione whispered against her neck.

All the hairs on Bellatrix's body stood on end as the whisper hit her heated skin. She held Hermione close to her, breathing in her sent. She placed kisses in the space between Hermione's breasts, licking and nipping at it until she kissed up her collar bone to her neck. Hermione moaned.

"You like that?" Bellatrix asked huskily.

"Yes…god yes." Hermione breathed.

Bellatrix lightly squeezed a breast, feeling a rock hard nipple against her palm, her other hand moving up Hermione's dress, cupping her sex though her underwear. Bellatrix moaned as the heat and wetness hit her hand, she smirked.

"Tell me what you want Mione." Bellatrix breathed in Hermione's ear.

"I want you to…" Hermione started, but her head was spinning, she couldn't form a full sentence.

"You want me to what?" Bellatrix asked.

"I want you to…touch me…" Hermione replied.

"Where?" Bellatrix asked.

"My…my…clit…" Hermione managed to reply.

Bellatrix moved Hermione's underwear aside and ran her fingers over her clit. Hermione's hips bucked forward, a moan erupting from her throat. But Bellatrix didn't stop; she kept putting pressure on the tiny bundle of nerves. Hermione's hips moved against Bellatrix's hand, her body beginning to shake.

"Not yet…Don't cum yet Mione." Bellatrix said softly.

"But it feels…so…good Bella." Hermione said moaning.

"I know Mione…but don't cum yet, enjoy the sensation, feel my hand against your clit." Bellatrix said arousal rising in her voice.

Hermione slowed her movements, focusing her mind on the feel of Bellatrix's hand between her legs. She could feel the wave start, but it didn't break through, she wasn't ready to cum yet, but she was at the same time.

"That's it." Bellatrix encouraged kissing down Hermione's throat.

Her fingers pressed harder, moving in a delicate circle around the younger witch's clit. Hermione's hips continued to buck against Bellatrix; she could feel the older witch begin to tremble.

"Are you going cum Bella?" Hermione asked.

"Perhaps." Bellatrix replied kissing Hermione's lips.

"I want you to cum with…me…I can't hold on much longer." Hermione panted.

Bellatrix smiled and continued to press on Hermione's clit. She knew exactly what to do to send Hermione over the edge. She pressed her thumb hard and rubbed in a short circle around her clit. The reaction was instantaneous. Hermione's body began to shake and her hips moved of their own accord as her orgasm ripped through her body.

"Fuck Bella! I'm cumming!" Hermione moaned loudly.

Bellatrix let out a gasp and her hips jerked as her own orgasm hit. Hermione noticed this, but was amazed at how quiet Bellatrix was being; her own orgasm was too much to control.

"Mione…Mione…" Bellatrix whispered as her orgasm subsided.

The two women sat there I silence, listening to one another's heavy breathing. After a few minutes Hermione glanced at the clock, it was ten minutes till they had to be at Harry's. Hermione sat up, brushing hair out of her face.

"You are so beautiful Bella." Hermione said cupping Bellatrix's face.

"So are you." Bellatrix replied smiling.

"We should get going; it's a ten minute walk to Harry's." Hermione said getting to her feet a little unsteadily.

Bellatrix stood as well putting on her cloak. Hermione put on her coat and the two women left the flat, walking out into the freshly fallen snow.

TBC…


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's note: Thanks for the reviews! Here it is…the next chapter!

Wide Awake: Chapter 19

Hermione and Bellatrix walked in the freshly fallen snow in the direction of Harry and Ginny's place. They talked about various things, and Hermione couldn't help at notice Bellatrix's panic rising as they got closer to the street to Harry's. Bellatrix looked around, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Everything was starting to look familiar to her.

"He lives here….at Number twelve Grimauld Place?" Bellatrix asked as they stopped in front of the steps.

"Yes. I thought you knew?" Hermione replied looking at Bellatrix perplexed.

Bellatrix said nothing; she just stood there, snow falling in her dark, raven curls. She seemed to be shivering and her eyes had turned cold.

"Bella if you'd rather not go, then we don't have to, I am sure they would understand." Hermione said placing a hand on Bellatrix's shoulder.

"No, we are already here, might as well make the most of it." Bellatrix snapped walking up the few steps to the front door.

Hermione followed still confused as to why Bellatrix was suddenly so angry. She knew that this house belonged to her cousin, but she wasn't sure what this house meant to her. Hermione raised her hand and lifted the snake shaped knocker. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Kreacher greeted them, but he stopped at the sight of Bellatrix.

"Madam Lestrange." He said bowing deeply.

Bellatrix looked a little discomforted by this gesture of welcome, but paid no mind to the elf as she strode past him into the sitting room.

"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed embracing her best friend.

Hermione hugged her tight, then let go turning Ginny to face Bellatrix, without hesitation Ginny embraced Bellatrix. Bellatrix tensed but the red-head didn't let go. Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Ginny in return then pulled away.

"Bellatrix. Nice to see you." Ginny said smiling.

"Same to you." Bellatrix said inclining her head.

Hermione's shoulders felt lighter as the two women began to make small talk, just then a tall man with dark unruly hair walked into the room. Bellatrix's eyes met his and they stood momentarily suspended in time. Hermione and Ginny looked between them apprehensive, but were both shocked when Harry moved forward and extended his hand. Bellatrix took it and they shook hands.

"Bellatrix." He said.

"Mr. Potter." She replied.

"Please call me Harry." He said smiling at her.

The corners of Bellatrix's plump lips curved upwards in a small smile as they let go of each other's hands.

"Who else is here?" Hermione asked.

"Neville and Luna." Ginny replied.

"So Ron isn't here?" Hermione asked.

"No, he didn't feel up to it." Harry said looking at Bellatrix.

"I understand." Bellatrix said.

"Please come, dinner isn't quite ready yet, but you are welcome to have a look around the house or whatever." Harry said.

Bellatrix looked uncomfortable again as she stared around the house. It looked the same way it did thirty years ago. The portraits on the walls were all still there, but it looked brighter and more welcoming than it had, then Bellatrix moved away from the crowd and walked up the first flight of stairs right into the drawing room. She stopped and looked around the room; it still held the Black Family Tapestry. Bellatrix was surprised that Harry hadn't gotten rid of it, but then again she was certain that her Aunt Walburga had placed a permanent sticking charm on it, so no one could remove it. She had noticed the portrait of her on the way up, though it seemed like a silencing charm had been placed on it so it wouldn't shriek all the time. She stood there looking at her family, it was large, and she noticed that Andromeda's name had repaired itself on the tapestry next to hers and Narcissa's names.

"I didn't take it down, even though Sirius said he hated it, I couldn't take it down." Harry said walking into the room.

He handed Bellatrix a glass of wine, she took it with a word of thanks and sipped it. She remembered the taste.

"You got this from the cellar." She commented still looking at the tapestry.

"There is lots of wine down there. I don't drink much; I figured it would be a waste to let it go." Harry said.

Bellatrix nodded in agreement and continued to examine the room. She walked all around it, looking at the names of her ancestors. She felt a strange emptiness as she looked at them, an emptiness she couldn't explain, it had been so long since she had been here, and when she was here she hated it. Aunt Walburga was almost as bad as her own mother. Both of them obsessed with blood purity and wealth. Bellatrix remembered playing hide and seek with her sisters and cousins during family gatherings only to be scolded for playing such childish games. She laughed softly at the memories.

"Something on your mind?" Harry asked tentatively.

He wasn't entirely comfortable with her being here, and that feeling was mirrored in Bellatrix, but he could see the change in Hermione and he knew that happiness was caused by Bellatrix. And the change in Bellatrix was obvious, though she still carried herself with dignity and pride; he no longer saw the arrogance or contempt that she once held. She looked younger and healthier than he had ever seen her and when she smiled, it was a real genuine smile, not a sneer or grin.

"I…I grew up in this house with Sirius." Bellatrix said.

Harry's throat tightened at the mention of his dead godfather's name, but he didn't comment, he just listened.

"He was an intelligent boy…I mean man. We used to duel all the time when my sisters and I would visit. He was always a tad bit slower than me, though we were always at a stale mate." Bellatrix said continuing to walk around the room.

Her heels clicked on the old mahogany floor as she continued to walk around the room. She stopped at her family again.

"My mother always had a competitive relationship with my Aunt Walburga." Bellatrix said pointing to her mother and father.

"Why were they so competitive?" Harry asked though he figured he could guess the answer.

"Because, Pure Bloods are competitive over everything, Money, power, how many of their children have been betrothed, all that nonsense. My mother, Druella, was always on about how beautiful we all were. Andromeda and I look alike, but Cissy, she got all the good looks; she is the epitome of beauty. We all knew that she would have no trouble finding a husband. I on the other hand didn't want to be married, but I had no choice. Andromeda was hopeless. We were all afraid that she and Sirius would have to marry one another, because neither of them had someone to marry." Bellatrix explained smiling at the memory.

"Sounds weird." Harry said.

"It wasn't unusual for that to happen. Though it was rare, as I am sure you know, there are very few Pure Blood families where they are all related in some way." Bellatrix said dismissively.

They stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes, and then Bellatrix turned to face Harry.

"I know that nothing I say or do can change the past Harry. But I want you to know that it did not feel good to kill Sirius. At the time…I was so full of adrenaline that I didn't even know what was happening. Though I know that is no excuse, but I want you to know that I am sorry." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

Harry knew that the emotion in her voice was genuine, the tears in her eyes were not fake and the look on her face was truly anguished. Harry blinked furiously, hot tears stinging his eyes. He had never expected to hear those words from her, though it didn't bring Sirius back, at least he now knew how she felt about it. Harry didn't know what to say.

"I am also sorry for the loss of the Elf…Dobby was his name right?" Bellatrix asked.

Harry nodded, this time unable to control his tears. Bellatrix's tears began to fall as well and she moved to embrace Harry but he held up his hands. Bellatrix stopped and eyed him curiously.

"I want to say thank you." Harry managed to say through his tears.

"For what? I am no one to thank Harry." Bellatrix said.

"You didn't tell Voldemort that Narcissa had lied…you didn't tell him that you knew about his Horcruxes….you helped us…" Harry said.

"Everything I did was for completely selfish reasons." Bellatrix said shaking her head.

She wasn't comfortable with this conversation anymore. Sure she had done many terrible things in her life, some on impulse and some on command, but what she did in the war, was all her, no influence, just her. And she didn't feel entirely comfortable talking to him about it.

"Regardless if they were selfish or not, you helped save my life." Harry said.

"Cissy saved your life." Bellatrix argued.

"That is true, but you helped and I want to say thank you." Harry said this time moving forward to embrace Bellatrix.

Bellatrix tensed, but after a few seconds relaxed, she hadn't been hugged by a man in a very long time, and she found that it wasn't completely uncomfortable, but she didn't want a repeat so she broke away from Harry.

"Would you like to hear a funny story about Sirius?" Bellatrix asked.

"Sure, that sounds great." Harry replied smiling.

They left the drawing room as Bellatrix recalled a story from their time at Hogwarts.

"We were down at the lake, and we dared him to get into the lake naked. Of course he was in Gryffindor and he wasn't going to stand being called a coward so he and James got into the water naked and swam a few feet out, well Snape, Lucius and I grabbed their clothes and took them with us, they had to run across the entire court yard butt ass naked, of course he paid me back ten fold in the next Quiddich match, but it was still worth it to see the look on McGonagall's face when they ran across the entrance hall naked." Bellatrix said smiling at the memory.

"And Sirius fell for that?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Yes, he was a very proud person and he wasn't going to let someone like _me _call him a coward." Bellatrix replied laughing a little.

Harry couldn't hold back a laugh, and soon they were both laughing so hard they had to clutch their stomachs and lean on the wall for support. Just then the dinning room door opened and everyone was looking at them in shock. Hermione had never seen Harry laugh so hard and she had never seen Bellatrix this happy. She beamed at them and finally they stopped laughing long enough for Ginny to announce that dinner was ready. They went in and sat down in their seats.

"Well guys we wanted to share with you the gender of our baby." Ginny said to the table at large.

Everyone looked up at Harry and Ginny who were beaming.

"It's a boy." Harry said grinning from ear to ear.

Everyone clapped and gave their congratulations to the happy couple. After an hour the table had been cleared and everyone was gathered in the sitting room for coffee and tea. Bellatrix sat uncomfortably next to Hermione on the sofa while everyone else chose their seats around the large coffee table in the middle of the room. Hermione placed a hand on Bellatrix's knee and smiled at her, Bellatrix managed a small smile, but Hermione could tell that she was very tense being in here.

"So Bellatrix, how long have you and Hermione been dating?" Ginny asked kindly looking over at the couple.

"A couple of weeks I suppose." Bellatrix replied.

"I bet she is smashing in bed huh?" Ginny asked smiling.

Hermione blushed profusely and the group laughed, Bellatrix didn't look amused.

"We actually haven't gotten that far yet. We are taking things slow, trying to get a feel for the relationship." Bellatrix said matter-of-factly.

Ginny stopped laughing and looked slightly ashamed, Hermione knew that she mean well. The red head was always blunt and straight forward with her questions.

"Seems like the sensible thing to do." Luna said approvingly.

Everyone agreed.

"How is work Harry?" Hermione asked changing the subject.

"Great, we have rounded up the last of a group of so called 'Death Eaters' and they are in Azkaban awaiting trial." Harry said before he could stop himself.

Bellatrix stood up abruptly and left the room, they heard the front door open and then slam. Hermione got up and followed after her lover, the room looked after Hermione in shock and Ginny punched Harry on the arm.

"Bella! Bella wait!" Hermione said catching up with Bellatrix.

She was surprised to see that Bellatrix hadn't disaparated, but that she was just walking down the street. Bellatrix stopped and allowed Hermione to approach her. She couldn't hold back the tears in her eyes as she looked at the younger witch.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't know he would answer it that way. I shouldn't have asked that question." Hermione said.

"No, no Mione, I need to stop being so sensitive about my past. Some of _those_ people who dare to call themselves Death Eaters are nothing but cowards! They didn't put in years of service, or suffer the retribution of a screw up, or a cell in Azkaban, they have no idea what it is like to be involved in something like that!" Bellatrix shouted.

Hermione backed away, Bellatrix was shaking. She knew that she needed to leave before she lost control.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I have to go." Bellatrix said as she turned on the spot and vanished leaving a stunned and hurt Hermione in her wake.

Hermione stood rooted to the spot for a few minutes before walking back into Grimauld Place to grab her coat.

"Mione I am sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen. I was stupid." Harry said meeting Hermione in the foyer.

"No Harry, I am sorry, it was too soon for this. Bye guys, thanks for dinner." Hermione said wiping the tears from her eyes as she put on her coat.

Harry didn't know what to say, he knew that he screwed up and ruined everything. But he didn't stop her as she left he house, closing the door behind her. Hermione walked back to her flat in tears. She knew that she shouldn't have taken Bellatrix to the party so soon, and she knew that Harry's job was to catch people like Death Eaters, and she knew that Bellatrix was still trying to accept that, that phase of her life was over. She shook the thoughts from her head as she arrived at her flat, undressing on the way to her room. She climbed into her bed in her underwear and curled up.

She cried herself to sleep.

TBC….


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: I have been watching a lot of Charmed lately…I figure that Scrying for another magical being wouldn't be too far fetched for this…I just had the idea so I wanted to try it. Since it is a form of Divination.

Wide Awake: Chapter 20

A week passed and Hermione hadn't heard from Bellatrix. There had been no owls, no nothing. Hermione began to worry, she hadn't even seen Bellatrix at the office, but when she asked Luna, the younger woman assured her that Bellatrix had been to her weekly session. Hermione knew that Luna wasn't allowed to disclose any information about their conversation, but Hermione needed to know, she needed to know if Bellatrix was okay.

"Is she okay? Did she seem upset?" Hermione asked on the edge of panic.

"She seemed fine Hermione. There isn't anything to worry about." Luna said trying to reassure her friend.

Hermione said nothing; she just went back in her office and closed the door behind her. She had half a mind to go straight to Bellatrix's manor, but she wasn't sure how Bellatrix would react to such an invasion. Then there was the other option, Narcissa. But again Hermione didn't think it would be such a good thing to go to Narcissa after the outrage it had caused the last time she was visited by the older witch. She sighed and tears fell down her face. After a few minutes she decided that she should see Narcissa anyways, and face the repercussions later. Hermione pulled out some paper and wrote a letter asking Narcissa to meet her at her house. She sent it off with the office owl and waited.

Bellatrix spent the last week prowling her room at the Leaky Cauldron. She hadn't seen Hermione since the night they went to dinner and Harry and Ginny's. She knew that she shouldn't have gotten so upset about the conversation, but she couldn't help it. Any mention of her past made her angry, especially when she might know who those imposters were. It made her so angry that she wanted to just take care of the matter herself, after all that is what she would have done in the past. But this wasn't the past, and she wasn't the same person that she used to be. Plus, if Hermione ever found out…well then that would be the end of their relationship. Bellatrix sighed and rubbed her face, she was exhausted. Sleep had eluded her for the past few days and she was at her breaking point.

"I need a sleeping potion." Bellatrix said to herself.

Finally deciding that she needed sleep more than anything else she put on her cloak and left her room, walking out into Diagon Alley.

Hermione received a reply almost at once. Narcissa agreed to meet her at her house within the hour. Hermione put on her coat, grabbed her briefcase and left her office. She walked down the street in a trance, not paying attention to where she was going even though she knew the way to her flat. Bellatrix consumed her every thought and her resolve was crumbling, she missed her more than anything. As Hermione rounded the corner to her street, she could see Narcissa standing there on her door step, so she hurried towards her flat.

"Mrs. Malfoy, thank you for coming." Hermione said extending her hand.

Narcissa took it and smiled.

"You're letter seemed urgent." Narcissa said.

"Let's get inside and I will explain." Hermione said taking out her keys and unlocking the door.

The two women walked inside, and Hermione closed the door behind her.

"Would you like some tea?" Hermione asked taking Narcissa's coat and hanging it on the hook next to hers.

"Yes, please." Narcissa replied.

Hermione hurried off to the kitchen to make some tea. Narcissa stared around the small flat; it looked the same as last time, clean and tidy. She could feel her sister's magical aura lingering in the air, and figured that she spent a lot of time with the younger woman. Hermione walked back into the sitting room with a tray of cookies and two mugs of tea. She handed one to Narcissa and curled up in the arm chair across from her.

"I am assuming that this is about Bellatrix?" Narcissa asked holding Hermione's letter in her hand.

"I am so confused by her." Hermione replied.

Narcissa sipped her tea and surveyed the young woman over the rim of her mug. She knew exactly how Hermione was feeling.

"She can be rather confusing sometimes." Narcissa said putting her tea down on the table in front of her.

"I mean one minute she is laughing and smiling, and the other, she is moody and upset over something. I can't read her." Hermione said.

"Yes, I know what you mean; she can be rather moody and irritable sometimes. She has always been that way, ever since we were children. And I honestly can't tell you why that is, but I guess that her service to…well you know…and her time in Azkaban hardened her to any emotion. I can say honestly that when she got out, she was not the Bellatrix that you have grown to care for." Narcissa explained.

Hermione sighed, she knew that Bellatrix had changed, and was still changing. It still didn't excuse the fact that she was confused and sad about the whole situation with the older witch.

"I can't read her, its like I see her trying to work things out, but she doesn't verbalize it. I never know when she is going to explode or if she is okay with anything." Hermione said.

"You just haven't been around her long enough to read her body language. Sometimes even I miss read her and there have been consequences for those lapses in judgment." Narcissa said.

Hermione said nothing; she just stared at the mug of tea in her hands. Narcissa's heart went out to the younger witch, she had spent many years with her sister, and even now she still couldn't figure her out.

"How long has it been since you have seen her?" Narcissa asked concerned.

"A full week, I have sent owls, but I have gotten no response, I even thought about going to her Manor to see her, but I didn't think that invasion into her privacy would be a welcome one." Hermione replied.

"Our last fight didn't end so well. She just walked off and then disaparated after she got upset over something." She added almost on the point of tears.

"What happened?" Narcissa asked, eye brows furrowed.

"We went to dinner and Harry and Ginny's. I asked Harry how work was going because I wasn't ready to discuss my relationship with Bella in detail. He talked about how he was working on catching a group of so called Death Eaters, and then Bella stood up and stormed out of the house." Hermione replied.

Narcissa sat up straighter, she leaned towards Hermione, and she was tense.

"What happened after that?" Narcissa asked urgently.

She was trying to remain calm, but if Bellatrix knew something about this, Narcissa knew that her sister wouldn't hesitate to rectify the situation. Narcissa also knew that it wouldn't be a pretty sight for anyone involved.

"I caught up to her half way down to street. She was very angry. She went on about how no one understood what it means to be a Death Eater and that _those_ people were not, and had not done the time or gotten reprimanded by _Him_." Hermione replied.

Narcissa got to her feet and started to pace the room nervously. Hermione watched her worried and confused. She didn't understand why Narcissa was so agitated.

"Is that all?" Narcissa asked.

"She left before she…lost control. I don't know what happened after. But I talked to Luna today, and she was at her session and that she was fine." Hermione replied.

Narcissa stopped pacing, and looked at Hermione, she didn't look relieved.

"Bella can kill without a second thought and be okay with it the next day. You would never know if she had done something unless she tells you." Narcissa said seriously.

Hermione felt sick. Bellatrix kill? No, no, Bellatrix wouldn't kill anyone now…not now that she had changed. But the look on Narcissa's face didn't bring her any comfort, she was worried and that worried Hermione.

"You don't think she would…you know…kill anyone now?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Oh Hermione, I wish that I could honestly answer that, but I have no idea. She has changed so much, and changed so fast that I haven't been able to keep up." Narcissa replied sadly.

She had stopped pacing and sat back down on the couch, hands rubbing her face.

"I need to see her. I need to know that she is alright, I hate this waiting." Hermione said breaking the short silence.

"I know how you feel Ms. Granger. The best advice I can give is to just wait, I know that is bad advice, but it is all I can give." Narcissa said.

"Is that what you do?" Hermione asked before she could stop herself.

"I have been waiting on Bella for a long time. You get used to the feeling, though I do not wish that for you. You don't deserve it." Narcissa replied.

"And you do?" Hermione asked.

"The relationship between Bella and I…it's complicated, but I make it though some how, we both do." Narcissa replied.

Hermione didn't ask anything more about the nature of their relationship, being an only child; she didn't quite understand the dynamics of a sisterly relationship. Though she knew that their relationship was beyond sisterly and it had been that way for many, many years. Narcissa could tell that Hermione's brain was working something out, but she didn't say anything, there were just some things that were better left to their own devices.

"I know what you must be thinking, but Ms. Granger, my sister…she is a very likeable person once you get passed the hard exterior she is quite a teddy bear. But don't tell her that I said that, she wouldn't be very happy." Narcissa said trying to lighten the mood.

"I can see…when we have been intimate…that she is holding back. I know she wants to move further into the relationship in all areas, but I see the reluctance and the fear." Hermione said rather awkwardly.

Narcissa's stomach clenched at the word 'intimate' it made her wonder how far they had actually gone, judging by the tone of the younger woman's voice, it wasn't what she was expecting. The thought of her sister with anyone but her made her skin crawl, but she knew, as did Bellatrix that their relationship could not continue any longer.

"She is scared. There have been times…in our past where there have been the same issues. All I can say is that you just have to go at her pace, and leave her be when she is like this." Narcissa said.

"How can I? Doesn't that show that I don't care, that she means nothing to me? She means everything to me Mrs. Malfoy, everything." Hermione said passionately.

By this time, tears had started to fall from Hermione's eyes. She couldn't help it; the lack of sleep and the absence of her girlfriend were taking their toll on her. She needed Bellatrix there with her, speaking to her, laughing her husky laugh.

"I have to say that the information that you have given me about those suspected Death Eaters is very disturbing. If she knows…well like I said, the consequences will be disastrous." Narcissa said seriously.

"It's all my fault." Hermione sobbed.

Narcissa's heart broke at the anguish behind the tears, and her resolve broke. She got up and sat on the arm of Hermione's chair, pulling her head to her chest. Hermione curled into Narcissa and she cried, cried out everything that she was feeling.

"Ms. Granger, I am sorry that I couldn't help you. But I need to find Bellatrix before…well I just need to find her. Let me talk to her and then you should try, I will send an owl when I have located her." Narcissa said running her nails through Hermione's brown hair.

"But how will you find her if you don't know where she is? I mean I know that Disapparating could work, but what if she isn't there?" Hermione asked sobering a little.

At this Narcissa chuckled a bit, and held Hermione at arm's length.

"I am going to use a very old, ancient form of Divination to find her." Narcissa said simply.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise and knowing, she knew that Narcissa was a powerful witch in her own right, but she never expected her to be a witch of the old ways as well.

"You're going to try Scrying for her?" Hermione asked.

Narcissa nodded.

"I studied into the ancient practices of witches before our time, and it was believed that Scrying was a useful way to find someone magical." Narcissa replied.

"Do you think it would work? Do you have the proper crystal?" Hermione asked.

"I take it that you have read about this before?" Narcissa asked looking at Hermione with her ice blue eyes.

Hermione blushed.

"Well, yes. Though I think Divination is a load of rubbish, but if this works then I may just believe it…." Hermione replied.

Narcissa chuckled softly; she remembered her reluctance to believe in this subject while she was in school. It seemed a life time ago.

"How do we know that this will work?" Hermione asked.

"Disapparating won't work because Bella had covered her magical signature against it. I don't think that she had guarded it completely from this, because no one uses that practice anymore." Narcissa explained.

"I see, so if her signature is blocked from disaparition, then the Scrying could work. Brilliant." Hermione said.

Narcissa smiled and got to her feet, Hermione followed.

"I must take my leave if I am to find Bellatrix before she does anything. I mean for all we know she could just be at her Manor doing some reading or tending to her garden." Narcissa said.

"I hope so. And you'll send word as soon as you find her?" Hermione asked.

"Of course." Narcissa replied putting on her coat.

Hermione opened the door and followed Narcissa onto the street.

"Thank you for the tea." Narcissa said smiling.

"Anytime, thank you for the shoulder." Hermione replied.

Narcissa smiled again and began to walk up the street. She hoped that this ancient practice would work. If it didn't, then she didn't know what would. Shaking the thoughts from her head, she went into a deserted alley and vanished.

TBC…


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's note: Sorry it's been a while! But here it is! Okay, so I know that Scrying...isnt a conventional way to find someone in the Harry Potter world, and that this method isnt known this name accept on Charmed...but that is where I got the idea, so I do apologize for the confusion if there is any. So here it is!

Wide Awake: Chapter 21

Narcissa decided to go to the Lestrange Manor before conducing her magical search for her sister. If Bellatrix was there, then she would be able to ask her what was going on with her. Once she arrived at the Manor she went inside. It was dark and quiet. Narcissa lit her wand and walked through the manor, finding no sign of Bellatrix. Panic began to grip Narcissa as she ran from room to room looking for her. After twenty minutes of searching, Narcissa deduced that Bellatrix was not at the Manor. But she couldn't think of any where else she could be.

"Fuck Bella…you drive me insane." Narcissa muttered to herself as she left the Manor.

Bellatrix arrived back in her room at the Leaky Cauldron a little while later, sleeping potion in hand. She would finally get the sleep that she needed. Going after those imposters was a ridiculous idea, and she knew that. It didn't matter to her anymore; at least that is what she kept telling herself. She stared out the window onto Muggle London and thought of Hermione. The younger woman was worried sick, her daily owls had proved to Bellatrix that Hermione was real, and that she actually meant something to her. But she wasn't ready to face her just yet, she felt embarrassed by her outburst, and not to mention, she had probably embarrassed Hermione in front of her friends. All of that, with the combination of no sleep had forced Bellatrix to tears every single day. She sighed and rubbed her face, she needed sleep. After stripping down to nothing, she climbed into bed, downing the potion in one gulp. The potion was warm as it went down her throat and the reaction was immediate, she had finally fallen asleep.

Narcissa arrived back at her manor shortly after leaving Bellatrix's. She needed to find her sister. Without any further hesitation she went up to her study, waving her wand, turning out all the lights, only leaving a few candles lit on an alter that had appeared fully stocked with everything she would need. She found a map of London and laid it out on the top of the small oak table. She figured she would start with London; Narcissa had a feeling that if Bellatrix wasn't at home, she was at least close to Hermione. After picking out a crystal from a small box on the table, she picked up her athame. One slice and blood poured out of her hand, she gripped the crystal tight in her hand.

_With this blood I wish to find a way to my sister divine_

_Show the way; don't lead me stray, so that I may bring her home to stay_

She let go of the crystal, and it began to spin over the map like a pendulum. After a few seconds the crystal stopped and landed on a spot on the map.

"She is at the Leaky Cauldron?" Narcissa asked herself.

Narcissa wasn't sure why Bellatrix had chosen the Leaky Cauldron of all places, but at least she was close enough to drop in on. Narcissa healed her hand, and put away her alter. Putting her coat back on, she left the Manor for London.

Hermione sat in her chair staring at the fire in her fireplace. Narcissa hadn't sent an owl, or anything letting her know if she had found Bellatrix yet. There was honestly no telling where she could be. Then a sudden thought occurred to Hermione; she really didn't know much about Bellatrix. It made her upset to know that she didn't really know her as a person, only what she used to be like. Hermione wanted to know the now Bellatrix, and she wanted to know everything, the good and the bad, if only she could see her. She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of her phone ringing.

"Hello?" She answered, her voice was hoarse from all the crying.

"Mione, you okay?" It was Ron.

"Yes I am fine, what can I do for you Ron?" Hermione asked pleasantly.

She really didn't know how Ron felt about Bellatrix, and she wasn't about to ask him, but he didn't sound upset or resentful, so she took it as a sign that he wasn't mad at her.

"I just wanted to let you know that Harry and I caught the alleged Death Eaters, they were just a few school age kids thinking that they would have a laugh. Downright pathetic if you ask me." Ron replied laughing a little.

"Well that's good, I am glad that it was nothing too serious, the last thing we need are more Death Eaters." Hermione said, she was relieved.

"Yes, true. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know, and to tell you that I am sorry for not coming to dinner last week, I am still trying to…absorb everything." Ron said.

"Don't worry about it Ron, I didn't expect everyone to be happy about my choice in a partner, but I did expect my friends to accept it." Hermione said boldly.

"I know Mione, I know. And I guess if Harry can accept it, well then so can I." Ron said.

"I am glad that you sort of approve." Hermione shrugged.

"Yes, well you are my best friend no matter what Mione." He said truthfully.

"Likewise." Hermione said.

"Are you sure that you're okay, you sound like you have been crying." Ron said concerned.

Hermione couldn't help but smile, he was so compassionate sometimes that it made her feel smothered, that was one thing that she like about Bellatrix, she didn't smother her.

"I'm fine…it's just hormones. I have to go, can I talk to you later?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, okay. Talk to you later Mione." Ron replied.

Hermione hung up the phone and sat it down beside her. She rubbed her face, thinking about Bellatrix and if Narcissa had found her yet.

Bellatrix awoke feeling more rested than she had all week. The sleeping potion had done its job well. Bellatrix looked out the window; it was snowing again.

"Hello Cissy." Bellatrix said still looking out the window.

She heard the click of Narcissa's heels on the hardwood floor as she approached her bed. Narcissa wasn't surprised that Bellatrix knew she was there; after all, their magical signatures were almost identical.

"Hello Bella." Narcissa said finally.

Narcissa sat down on the edge of the bed, staring around the small room.

"I need not ask how you found me…because I know, my question is why?" Bellatrix said.

"I needed to know…needed to see that you were alright." Narcissa said not looking at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix could tell by Narcissa's tone of voice that she was a mixture of upset and relieved. Her greeting had been less than enthusiastic. She had a feeling as to why Narcissa was here, but she needed to hear the younger witch say it.

"How is Mione?" Bellatrix asked.

"Worried sick, damn near hysterical. She sent me an owl you know, freaking out that you hadn't responded back and she hadn't heard anything from you at all." Narcissa replied still not looking at Bellatrix.

Bellatrix sat up, the sheet falling down her naked breasts. She paid no mind to her nakedness as she got out of bed and began to collect her clothing. Narcissa just watched as her naked sister padded around the small room. Bellatrix could feel her sister's gaze on her and stopped, coming to a stop right in front of her.

"Look at me." Bellatrix commanded softly.

Narcissa did as she was told and looked up into Bellatrix's dark eyes.

"Did you miss me?" Bellatrix asked.

"Of course I did Bella. But I am not here for me." Narcissa replied indignantly.

Bellatrix said nothing; she instead leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss on Narcissa's lips. Narcissa was so overwhelmed with emotion that she kissed back, wrapping her arms around her older sister's neck. Bellatrix moaned and began to move Narcissa on her back, but the younger witch stopped and pushed Bellatrix away and got to her feet panting.

"No Bella." Narcissa said shaking her head.

Bellatrix looked hurt and angry at the same time.

"Get dressed Bella." Narcissa ordered, she was agitated.

"Cissy." Bellatrix said tentatively moving towards her sister.

"Don't fucking touch me! Just get dressed already, for fuck's sake Bellatrix." Narcissa said backing away.

Bellatrix did as she was told.

"Now you need to go and reassure your _girlfriend_ that you're still serious about your relationship. _And _you need to apologize to her for abandoning her." Narcissa said once Bellatrix was fully dressed.

"Did she tell you what happened?" Bellatrix asked.

"Yes." Narcissa replied.

"I didn't go after them…I did tell the Auror Office who I thought they were…a few school age punks that said they knew Draco. Turns out I was right, and they were dealt with. " Bellatrix said.

"Dealt with by you?" Narcissa asked.

'No, by Harry and his friend, Ron I think his name is." Bellatrix replied unsure of where her sister was going with this.

"You mean you didn't…you didn't kill anyone?" Narcissa asked her voice full of disbelief.

"No Narcissa, I did not _kill_ anyone." Bellatrix replied angrily.

Narcissa was silent. But Bellatrix seemed to know what she was thinking. And though she couldn't blame Narcissa for the thought, it still didn't make it hurt any less. Her eyes filled with tears.

"You thought I…that I killed someone didn't you?" Bellatrix asked her voice thick with emotion.

Narcissa didn't answer. Bellatrix advanced on her baby sister.

"Didn't you?! You told Hermione that I killed someone?!" Bellatrix shrieked.

"N-no Bella…I t-told her…that in the past that it was never an issue…that it came natural to you…" Narcissa said.

"I never killed anyone! Sirius was the only one that I have ever killed Cissy…I have tortured and hurt people…but I never killed anyone! Fuck Cissy!" Bellatrix said running her fingers through her raven curls.

"Look Bella, she has been worried sick about you! She hasn't been eating, and she looks as if she hadn't slept. It's only been a week!" Narcissa said.

Bellatrix backed away and looked at her sister. The fact that Narcissa believed that she had went off and killed someone made her angry to no end, but she also knew that she wasn't always honest with Narcissa when she was in the service of _Him_ so it was no wonder Narcissa had the wrong idea of what she actually did while she was away. And Hermione, she needed to see her, but she was embarrassed by what she had done.

"Cissy…I won't pretend that I am not hurt by what you believed I did…Because I am, but you could have given me more credit than that." Bellatrix said.

She was calm now.

"I'm sorry Bella…it's just that you don't talk to me…you don't let me in, so what am I supposed to think?" Narcissa asked.

Bellatrix knew that Narcissa was right. She never did open up or tell her much, so it was a legitimate concern.

"I don't know Cissy…look I am glad that you found me. I do need to go see Mione." Bellatrix said putting on her cloak.

"She loves you Bella…I can tell." Narcissa said softly.

"I know." Bellatrix said leaving the room.

Bellatrix left the room leaving Narcissa alone. Narcissa stood rooted to the spot for a long while after Bellatrix had left. She couldn't believe that had just thought of her sister as a murderer. Though the thought that Bellatrix wasn't a cold blooded killer comforted her, the fact that the thought had crossed Bellatrix's mind unsettled her. Even if Bellatrix didn't verbalize it, she wanted to go after those kids herself and deal with them herself, Narcissa could see it in her eyes. After a while Narcissa felt like she needed to leave and go back home, she was sure that Bellatrix stayed true and went to see Hermione. And with that thought Narcissa put her cloak back on and left the Leaky Cauldron.

TBC...


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews guys! It means a lot to me! To answer a few questions, I am not sure about the Hercissatrix yet… If anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them…Maybe in the sequel. As far as the Cissatrix…there will be more, in a few chapters. Thanks for the reviews guys!

Wide Awake: Chapter 22

Bellatrix went straight over to Hermione's place after she left the Leaky Cauldron. Narcissa was right, she needed to apologize and reassure Hermione that she was committed to their relationship. Once she arrived, she knocked, but there was no answer. Bellatrix muttered something under her breath, and the door unlocked. It was quiet inside, but she knew that Hermione was here, she could sense her. If what Narcissa said was true, Hermione would be waiting for her. She walked up the stairs and into Hermione's bedroom, the younger witch was in bed, sound asleep. Bellatrix smiled and walked towards the bed, and sat down next to Hermione, running her knuckles down her face. Hermione's flinched and her eyes fluttered open.

"Bella?" Hermione asked sitting up a little, her voice was thick with sleep.

"Yes Mione, it's me." Bellatrix replied softly.

Hermione sat all the way up, and Bellatrix moved slightly so she could sit all the way up. Bellatrix studied her lover for a moment, she did look thinner and there were dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm sorry Mione." Bellatrix said.

"I have been so worried about you Bella…I had no idea…I thought about coming after you." Hermione said.

Bellatrix sighed, she felt ashamed of herself for what she had done to Hermione.

"I know…and I am sorry, I was too ashamed to even face you Mione…I shouldn't have over reacted like that, I feel so ashamed of myself because I embarrassed you." Bellatrix explained.

"No Bella…don't blame yourself, I knew that it was too soon to bring you in front of them…too soon for everyone." Hermione said.

"No Mione…I know that this relationship isn't easy for you…I mean you being with someone like _me_." Bellatrix said.

Hermione got out of bed and paced the room. Bellatrix shook her head, Hermione was thinner. Seeing that made her feel even worse about what she had done to the younger woman.

"I already knew what I was getting myself into Bellatrix. This has nothing to do with what you have done in the past. This is about now, and how I feel about you now, and what I want from you." Hermione said firmly.

She wasn't going to let Bellatrix beat herself up over this, because it wasn't her fault.

"I chose you" Hermione went on " I want to be with you, and I know that may be hard to accept, But Bella I got to tell you, I have never been happier than when I am in your arms. I know that all this readjusting into this new world hasn't been easy, but Bella…I want to be there for you, let me be there for you, let me in." Hermione said.

"Mione…I haven't…I don't let many people in. Not even Cissy…look maybe I should have just waited a little longer before coming back." Bellatrix said getting to her feet.

"No, please don't leave Bella, please…" Hermione said blocking the door.

Bellatrix stopped and stared at her lover for a moment, she really didn't want to leave, but that was all she knew how to do when confronted with an uncomfortable situation. But Hermione had crossed her arms and glared at the older witch; Bellatrix raised her hands in defeat and turned away, walking back towards the bed.

"I am sorry Mione; I never meant to abandon you. I mean just look at what I have done to you." Bellatrix said gesturing towards Hermione.

"I did this to myself Bella." Hermione argued.

Bellatrix stood and advanced on Hermione, but the brunette didn't back down, she stood her ground and faced Bellatrix as she came to stand in front of her.

"You're impossible you know that?" Bellatrix said irritably.

"Like wise." Hermione retorted crossing her arms across her chest.

"You can Cissy both have this incessant need to always have the last word." Bellatrix said.

"Then I'd have to say that great minds think alike." Hermione said shrugging.

"You remind me of her a lot sometimes." Bellatrix said quietly.

Hermione's stance relaxed at the sound of defeat in Bellatrix's voice. The younger woman had never heard a more defeated person in her life. Bellatrix was tormented that was for sure, but there was something else there that Hermione couldn't quite place, but then again, Bellatrix was still a complete enigma.

"Tell me what you are thinking?" Bellatrix asked, her eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"I am thinking about a lot of things, and I am confused about a lot of it. But it's hard to sort everything out when the person who is confusing me isn't here to help me." Hermione replied.

Bellatrix backed away from the younger witch. She was completely on the edge of panic; this was what Bellatrix had feared. Hermione moved forwards, but Bellatrix put her hands up to stop her from moving any further. Hermione stopped and stared, and then she saw it, fear. Bellatrix was afraid of rejection.

"Bella…please…look, I was confused because you left, you just left, and I tried to find you. But I had no idea where to look, and even if I did go after you, I wouldn't know where to look. Plus what would I have done when I found you? I wasn't even so sure that you wouldn't hex me for intruding on you." Hermione explained.

"I WOULD NEVER HEX YOU!" Bellatrix shrieked running her fingers through her raven curls, she was pacing the room now, a full anxiety attack surfacing.

"Bella, I know that, I was confused and sad. I didn't know what to think. You just left, and all I wanted to know was if you were okay." Hermione said softly.

"I was…those _kids_ have no idea what it is like to serve the Dark Lord, they don't know! I told you this already! They didn't do the time, I can't stand it when people _claim_ to have faith and show loyalty in the _cause_ when they haven't put in the time…I spent 14 years in Azkaban! I spent years serving him…fought in a war alongside him…I did the work! I did the time! I know what it's like to be punished, to suffer retribution for a fuck up, I know what it's like…not them, and they deserve to be punished." Bellatrix explained, her chest heaving.

Hermione was silent; she knew that Bellatrix had wanted to get this out, and was evident that it had been building inside of her for a week.

"And I was embarrassed that I had just left you in front of your friends. I humiliated you. I felt ashamed." Bellatrix finished.

She had finally stopped pacing and she was standing there, hair frazzled, skin flushed and chest heaving. Hermione was at a loss for words, she had no idea what to say. So she moved forward and cradled Bellatrix in her arms. Bellatrix didn't fight back, and Hermione took that as a good sign that she was no longer going to rant. Then she started to shake and Hermione knew that she was crying. Hermione moved them to the bed and sat down, Bellatrix curled into Hermione and continued to cry.

"Bella I'm sorry." Hermione said as she held Bellatrix in her arms.

"No. Don't. You have nothing to be sorry for…I need to be able to be an adult…I have always acted like a child, and impulsive child…and now I have the chance to act like a woman…a grown woman. And you…you have helped me with that." Bellatrix said looking up at Hermione.

"You have helped me as well Bella. I have never met anyone like you. And I want…to be with you." Hermione said.

Bellatrix said nothing so Hermione went on.

"I want to be with you, I…can deal with everything, the mood swings, the outbursts, I can handle it Bella. I have already proven that to you. I don't care if you feel that you have embarrassed me, I don't care about age or financial status, all I care about is waking up next to you." Hermione finished.

Bellatrix didn't anything, but fresh tears fell down her face as she looked at Hermione's tear filled brown ones. She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Hermione's lips.

"I think I could fall in love with you Hermione Granger." Bellatrix said leaning Hermione back on the bed.

She kissed down Hermione's throat, and felt goose bumps erupt down her neck. Hermione tangled her fingers through Bellatrix's raven curls pulling her closer. Bellatrix lifted up Hermione's shirt, pulling up and over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra, so Bellatrix took an erect nipple into her hot mouth and bit down. Hermione moaned and moved to unlace Bellatrix's corset, but Bellatrix stopped her.

"No, this isn't about me Mione…" Bellatrix said stopping Hermione's hands from unlacing her further.

Before she could answer, Bellatrix began to kiss down Hermione's body, removing her sweat pants and underwear so that Hermione was lying completely naked on the bed. Her skin was flushed and as far as Bellatrix could see Hermione was soaking wet.

"You're so beautiful Mione." Bellatrix said running her hands down Hermione's body.

Hermione shivered and moaned as Bellatrix's fingers circled her clit, gently pushing on the tiny bundle of nerves. Hermione's hips jerked forward and her body began to shake. Bellatrix could tell that she was close only after a few minutes so she removed her fingers. Hermione groaned at the loss of contact, but was soon moaning as Bellatrix knelt between her legs.

"Take me Bella…please…" Hermione groaned.

Without any further hesitation Bellatrix brought her lips to Hermione's clit kissing it lightly. Hermione's hips moved forward into Bellatrix's face. Bellatrix smiled and swirled her tongue around Hermione's opening.

"Mmmm Bella…fuck yes…" Hermione moaned pinching her nipples between her fingers.

Bellatrix smirked and continued to suck and nip at Hermione's clit, running her hands up and down the younger witch's thighs. She could feel her legs shaking and knew that Hermione was close. She added her thumb along with her tongue and Hermione moaned loudly.

"Fuck Bella…Bella! Yes…oh god Bella!" Hermione moaned as her back arched and her legs trembled violently.

Bellatrix continued to lick and suck until Hermione's orgasm subsided. Bellatrix pulled back and wiped her face on her sleeve, then leaned back and placed a soft kiss on Hermione's thigh.

"You know, you're quite beautiful in the throes of passion." Bellatrix said continuing her ascent up Hermione's slightly sweaty body.

Hermione shivered as Bellatrix's lips found an erect nipple. A low moan sounded from the older woman as she sucked on the sensitive nub. Hermione ran her hands though inky curls, pulling Bellatrix closer.

"Bella…" Hermione whispered.

Bellatrix looked up from Hermione's breast.

"Yes love?" Bellatrix asked.

"Let me make love to you." Hermione said.

Worry was etched all over the older woman's face. This was a big step for them already, and Hermione didn't want to push her luck, but she was ready to show Bellatrix how much she meant to her.

"Mione…I-I'm not sure I am ready for that." Bellatrix said panic rising in her voice.

Hermione's face fell.

"Why doesn't she trust me?" Hermione thought to herself.

"I understand Bella." Hermione said out loud.

Bellatrix didn't buy that, but didn't comment. She didn't want to have another argument after they had just gotten back together after a week apart.

"Do you not trust me?" Hermione asked.

Hurt was evident in her voice. Bellatrix rolled off the bed and stood, her face turning from flushed to pale.

"I trust you Hermione." Bellatrix said trying to keep her voice from sounding irritated.

They had already been over this, never in depth, but Hermione knew that this wasn't something that Bellatrix was ready for so quickly.

"Then why won't you go…all the way with me?" Hermione asked sitting up.

Bellatrix didn't answer. Hermione shook her head and got out of bed, pulling on some clothes. Bellatrix didn't move, but watched Hermione dress. Panic was gripping her again; she couldn't let Hermione's leave like this.

"Where are you going?" Bellatrix asked as Hermione put on her converse.

"This is her house." Bellatrix thought to herself.

"I need some air." Hermione said flatly.

"Mione, I'm sorry. Don't leave please." Bellatrix said getting off the bed.

Hermione pulled a hoodie on over her t-shirt, she didn't look at Bellatrix.

"I have been patient. Taking it slow. I don't understand you sometimes you know? I treated you, so I know about your past…I know a lot, but Bella…if you don't trust me…I mean you let Narcissa…" Hermione said but Bellatrix cut her off.

"My relationship with Cissy is none of your concern." Bellatrix snapped.

"I just meant…so I know you haven't been with anyone besides Mrs. Malfoy and Mrs. Tonks…but Bella, I'm your partner, that much has been established. I just want to be with you in every way that I can. To make you feel as good as you make me feel." Hermione said tears falling from her eyes.

"And I want you too. The things we have done…the foreplay…I like it. But I am just not ready." Bellatrix said.

"Why Bella? Why?" Hermione asked.

"I am a hundred and one shades of fucked up Mione." Bellatrix replied.

"You know that I don't care about that." Hermione said.

Bellatrix shook her head and she advanced on Hermione.

"You don't understand…I barely let Cissy touch me." Bellatrix said.

Hermione's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. They seemed so much closer than that.

"I just have issues with….things…that I don't discuss with anyone…not even Cissy." Bellatrix said.

"But you don't let her…have you…" Hermione asked.

"Yes we have fucked." Bellatrix said dismissively.

"I didn't mean it like that." Hermione said.

"You have let her make love to you?" Hermione asked.

"I have _allowed_ her to make love to me." Bellatrix corrected.

Hermione knew she was being a little insensitive about this, but she had been patient and she had tried to be understanding, everyone has demons, but Bellatrix rarely opened up to her ever since they had stopped being patient and counselor.

"I am trying to understand Bella. We all have demons…I just feel that we are on a good roll, but there needs to be some changes." Hermione said.

"I know and I want them too." Bellatrix said.

"Then change them Bella. I have to go." Hermione said turning to leave.

"I'm sorry Mione." Bellatrix said.

She knew that she had hurt Hermione by rejecting her. The feeling of rejection wasn't a new one for the older witch. She was even afraid of being rejected by Hermione, and now she was treating Hermione the same way that she feared.

"Me too Bella." Hermione said, her tone was soft and full of tears as she left the room closing her bedroom door behind her.

TBC….


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Still applies

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews guys! Keep 'em coming!

Wide Awake: Chapter 23

Bellatrix heard the front door open and close. She sat there slightly angry and ashamed of herself. She felt exposed and vulnerable. Bellatrix lay back on the bed and curled up into Hermione's pillow, she didn't know when the younger witch was going to return, but she was determined to wait.

Hermione walked down the street without knowing where she was going. She felt ashamed of herself for her loss of control. Hermione knew that she was out of line, but that didn't excuse the fact that she was frustrated beyond belief that things were moving to slow for her. She trusted Bellatrix with everything she had. By this time, she had stopped walking. It had been almost an hour.

"She has probably left." Hermione said to herself.

The young witch felt bad, and she needed to go and apologize for her disrespect. So she turned and walked back to her flat.

Bellatrix lay there in the quiet, pale darkness of the room listening to the cars on the street. She had always hated Muggle London; it was always so noisy and crowded.

"I should take her to the estate." Bellatrix said rolling onto her side.

Tears flooded her eyes and she began to cry. All the emotions inside her were getting to be exhausting. This was all new to her, and the tears would not stop. Bellatrix didn't hear the door open, or hear Hermione walking back into her room, until she felt a pair of arms encircle her, she couldn't help it, she cried harder.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to be such a bitch about this. I know…I know that it isn't easy for you." Hermione whispered.

Bellatrix didn't respond, but continued to cry for a while. The smell of Hermione, her warmth and understanding were almost too much to take.

"M-Mione I'm s-sorry." Bellatrix said between sobs.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Hermione said.

Bellatrix rolled over to face Hermione, her dark eyes were red and puffy, Hermione had never seen so much pain in some one's eyes before.

"I do. I was rejecting you when all you wanted to do was love me. I should trust you enough to let you. But I have…demons, demons that I am not ready to face." Bellatrix said sobering.

"I didn't mean to be insensitive, I mean I treated you, I know some of your inner most secrets, I should have known." Hermione said.

"You were telling me the truth Mione…another quality that you and Cissy share." Bellatrix replied.

"Even so, I shouldn't rush you." Hermione said.

"I am glad that you told me. Communication is important. I have made that mistake with Cissy and I see how it has affected her…how it is still affecting her. "Bellatrix reasoned.

"So what now?" Hermione asked.

"I think I should use that Muggle device…what's it called?" Bellatrix asked.

"A Phone?" Hermione suggested, she couldn't help but smile at this.

"Yes that, invite Harry and Ginny over, also Luna and the Longbottom boy over for dinner." Bellatrix said.

Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Are you serious?" Hermione asked.

"Serious as a Dragon bite." Bellatrix replied.

"Alright, I will call them now." Hermione said pulling her phone out of her pocket.

Bellatrix watched in confusion and wonder as Hermione made her phone calls.

"It's much faster and simpler than using owls." Bellatrix reasoned to herself.

"Ginny? Hey, are you and Harry busy tonight?" Hermione asked snapping Bellatrix out of her musings on strange Muggle devices.

"No, we were just about to call you to see if you wanted to do something." Ginny replied.

"Bella and I are having a dinner party, and we wanted you guys to come." Hermione said.

"We'll be there! What time?" Ginny asked, she couldn't suppress her excitement, Hermione smiled at her friend's genuine enthusiasm.

"7?" Hermione replied.

"We'll be there, see you later Mione." Ginny said.

She hung up and Hermione turned back to Bellatrix.

"Well Harry and Ginny will be here. In fact, Ginny seemed rather excited that we invited them." Hermione said smiling.

Bellatrix nodded her approval, but didn't comment. Hermione gave her a reassuring smile as she dialed Luna's number.

"Luna? Hey, it's Hermione. Listen, I was wondering if you and Neville would like to come over for dinner? Ginny and Harry are going to be here." Hermione asked.

"I'd love to, what time?" Luna asked with a hint of a smile in her dreamy voice.

"7." Hermione replied.

"See you at 7." Luna said.

Hermione had one last inspiration and dialed another number.

"Ron, yes its Hermione. Listen, I'm having everyone over for dinner, and I wanted to know if you and Parvati wanted to come? " Hermione asked.

"Is Bellatrix going to be there?" Ron asked.

"Yes, she is." Hermione replied stiffly.

"Mione…okay, we'll be there." Ron said after a few minutes of silence.

"Do me a favor and call Dean and Lavender for me? I have to start on dinner. But do tell them that Bella will be here. I don't think it will be an issue, but please tell them for me." Hermione asked.

"Will do. And Mione, thanks for not giving up on me." Ron said.

"Likewise." Hermione said.

Hermione hung up her phone and glanced at the clock, it was already 4 in the afternoon and she needed to get started on dinner.

"Would you like to invite Mrs. Malfoy? Or Mrs. Tonks and Dora?" Hermione asked.

"Nymphadora is fine…but not my sisters." Bellatrix said getting up off the bed.

"Okay." Hermione said.

She called Tonks. Bellatrix put on her boots and her heavy cloak. Hermione eyed her curiously while she was on the phone with Tonks, but Bellatrix didn't move from her spot until Hermione had hung up the phone.

"Where are you going Bella?" Hermione asked.

"I am going to the market…I am going to make dinner." Bellatrix replied.

"You…you can…" Hermione said in total shock, she never expected Bellatrix to offer to do domestic duties.

But then again, nothing about their relationship was expected.

"I can cook…I never told anyone…not even Cissy knows. So it's just between us for now." Bellatrix replied.

"What are you going to make?" Hermione asked.

"Something I haven't eaten in years. Don't worry Love, you'll all like it." Bellatrix said placing a kiss on Hermione's cheek.

"I am sure we will. I am going to clean up and then I will see you in a bit then?" Hermione asked.

"Yes. See you in a bit." Bellatrix said leaving the room.

Hermione smiled to herself, she knew that this dinner party was going to go well. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she could feel and see the difference in her lover. She smiled and got out of bed, and set to cleaning up her already tidy flat.

TBC…


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Still applies…

Author's Note: Here it is…the next chapter…Sorry guys for the ridiculously long wait! I would like to thank my best friend and pen pal SecretStranger69 for helping me with the shower scene! Please reaf and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 24

Hermione bustled around her flat, trying to make sure that everything was in order for that night's dinner party. She was extremely nervous about having everyone over at her place after the recent outburst at Harry and Ginny's a couple weeks ago. Once satisfied that the house was in order she went upstairs to take a shower, she was sure that Bellatrix would be back soon with the ingredients to start preparing dinner.

Bellatrix walked through Muggle London feeling increasingly nervous, it had been many, many years since she had cooked, and the worst part was, no one knew that she could cook. Once she picked up what she needed using the Muggle money that she had exchanged at Gringott's she headed back to Hermione's flat. Bellatrix opened the door and noticed that Hermione wasn't in the living room where she had left her, but she heard the shower running. The older witch had a sudden idea and set to preparing dinner. After about twenty minutes it was in the oven and Bellatrix had made her way up the stairs, steam was coming from the bathroom. She smiled and stripped down to nothing, and padded her way to the bathroom. Hermione didn't even flinch or move as Bellatrix moved into the shower with her. She stood there waiting for the older woman to make a move. She didn't have to wait long because she felt a pair for strong arms encircle her waist and a pair of lips on her neck.

"Mmmm Bella…" Hermione moaned relaxing back into the older witch.

She threw her had back, exposing her neck even more to Bellatrix's lips.

"I missed you Mione…I missed you so much." Bellatrix said taking her lips off Hermione's neck and turning her so they were now face to face.

"I missed you too Bella. I was so lonely without you." Hermione said softly.

Bellatrix smiled and ran her hands up Hermione's soaking wet body, her hands coming up to rest on Hermione's breasts. Hermione moaned as Bellatrix's hands squeezed them gently.

"Mmmm Bella…" Hermione moaned as Bellatrix rolled an erect nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

Hermione moaned and moved forward placing a kiss on Bellatrix's lips.

"Bella, I want to try something." Hermione said breaking the kiss.

"Mione…You k-know that I-I can't…" Bellatrix stuttered.

Hermione gave Bellatrix a reassuring smile and reached around her to pick up the shampoo bottle.

"I was going to ask if I could wash you…" Hermione said.

Bellatrix relaxed slightly, but she was tense in every fiber of her being. Sure sex was something personal but this…this was breaking all her rules about intimacy. Narcissa's words echoed in her head, she couldn't let Hermione down again.

"Alright…but if I tell you to stop…you have to stop." Bellatrix said.

Hermione nodded and pulled Bellatrix under the hot spray of water. Bellatrix's body relaxed and Hermione began to pour some shampoo into her hands; she reached up and ran her hands through Bellatrix's mane of curls. Bellatrix moaned as Hermione's talented fingers worked the shampoo into her hair. She had never done anything remotely close to this before, it was new for her but Hermione knew her limits, so she decided to let Hermione continue.

"Are you okay Bella?" Hermione asked pulling Bellatrix back under the water to rinse the shampoo from her hair.

"Fine Hermione…just keep going." Bellatrix said a little harsher than she intended.

Hermione's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Bellatrix was tense again. She closed her eyes and then a thought occurred to her, this was going a little more personal than they had before, so she decided to just do what she felt like in silence until Bellatrix said otherwise. She poured some conditioner into her hand and worked it into Bellatrix's hair. Bellatrix relaxed again, her mouth slightly open. Hermione smiled, she was obviously doing something right because Bellatrix opened her eyes.

"Wash me." Bellatrix said.

Hermione picked up her body wash and poured some into her hands and worked the soap into a foamy lather. She tentatively put her hands on Bellatrix's shoulders, she could feel the older witch stiffen but she didn't stop. Bellatrix sighed as Hermione's hands began to run down her arms, her fingers leaving goose bumps in their wake. Bellatrix's eyes were closed, but Hermione knew that this was making her uncomfortable, so she quickened her pace, gently washing Bellatrix's breasts. The older witch moaned, but did not open her eyes. As Hermione's hands moved lower, she could feel Bellatrix's body stiffen, this time more tensely than before, but she kept going. Hermione washed up Bellatrix's legs and stopped when she reached the spot between the older witch's legs. The young witch looked up at her lover for approval, and was shocked to find that Bellatrix was staring at her, a dark look in her eyes.

"M-May I continue?" Hermione asked shakily.

"No, we are done here." Bellatrix said curtly.

She gathered some remaining soap from her legs and quickly washed between her legs, and she stepped out of the shower leaving a confused Hermione in her wake.

Hermione stood under the now cold water, her mind was racing. Bellatrix had gone way beyond her limits for the younger witch, but the prospect of having her most intimate area washed was too much. Hermione knew and understood this, but it still made her feel upset that Bellatrix still didn't trust her enough to do something like that.

"Mione, are you okay?" Bellatrix asked softly catching the younger witch completely off guard.

"Fine Bella, I will be down in a minute." Hermione replied.

The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable and Bellatrix felt ashamed of herself, but she just wasn't ready for something like that. Bellatrix dried her hair and dressed herself in her normal attire and left the bathroom.

Hermione stayed under the water for another ten minutes. Her body numb from the spray of cold water. Hot tears streamed down her face, the pain she felt was almost too much to bear, but she knew that eventually Bellatrix would trust her. Deciding that she had stayed in the shower long enough, she turned off the water.

"Bella…why won't you trust me?" Hermione whispered to herself as she dried herself and got dressed.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

"I can't keep them waiting." She muttered to herself as she left her bedroom.

Hermione shook all negative thoughts from her head. This was about her friends and her lover having a good time and she didn't want to ruin it with all her self-loathing.

TBC….


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. I am a tad bit rusty on this story. So this chapter may be slightly disappointing. Things are moving along though. Please read and review.

Wide Awake: Chapter 25

Hermione managed to pull herself together before walking downstairs to greet her guests. She knew that she was being an insensitive jerk to Bellatrix about wanting to take it to the next level, but she was unsure of how to approach Bellatrix about the subject, since Bellatrix always got very upset at the mention of it. Deciding that now was not the time to over analyze the situation, she shook the thoughts from her head and walked into the living room.

"I was beginning to think you had drowned." Bellatrix said walking over to Hermione and giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I just needed a minute, I am okay." Hermione replied giving Bellatrix a weak smile.

Bellatrix wasn't convinced, but decided that now was not the time to get into an argument with the younger witch.

"Ginny and Harry are here, Dora sent an owl along with Harry, something came up and she couldn't make it." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"I do need to talk to Ginny. I will call Dora later. Let's not keep them waiting." Hermione said distractedly walking into the living room.

"Mione!" Ginny exclaimed as Hermione walked into the room.

She got up from the couch and pulled Hermione into a strong hug. Hermione almost fell over backwards; she had forgotten how strong the younger witch was.

"I have missed you Mione." Ginny said as she let go of Hermione.

"I have missed you too Gin." Hermione replied.

"May I hug my best friend?" Harry asked approaching the two women.

Harry embraced Hermione gently.

"Nice to see you Harry." Hermione said.

"You look good." He said smirking.

"Thank you." Hermione replied blushing.

"So tell us, how are things with you and Bellatrix?" Ginny asked.

"Doesn't miss a beat does she?" Bellatrix asked walking back into the living room with a tray full of drinks.

Ginny smiled and took a drink off the tray.

"She is my best friend." Ginny replied giggling.

Hermione said nothing she just quietly sipped her drink. Bellatrix eyed the younger witch curiously for a few minutes, but was snapped out of her scrutiny by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

"I will get it Bella." Hermione said walking towards the door.

Hermione walked to the door, and opened it to see Neville and Luna, followed by Dean and Lavender. She smiled and stepped aside to allow them to enter, taking their coats as they walked into the living room to join the rest of the guests.

"Luna!" Ginny exclaimed hugging her friend.

Hermione saw Bellatrix tense as Luna walked into the room and went to stand next to her gripping her hand. Bellatrix looked at her puzzled, but said nothing, gripping her hand with the same amount of force. Hermione knew that Bellatrix felt slightly uneasy at the thought of her therapist being in the same room as she. Once everyone had arrived, Ron being the last of them, Bellatrix served dinner.

"Bella…you made lasagna!" Hermione said enthusiastically.

"Yes, well I haven't had this in years, and I figured that no one was on a diet, so why not." Bellatrix said waving her wand as the lasagna cut itself and served everyone an equal portion.

Everyone smiled and began to eat, each person slightly surprised that the older witch had even bothered to cook for them. Hermione sat next to Bellatrix, looking sideways at her lover as she ate. She really admired her lover for going through the trouble of cooking for so many people, but Hermione understood that Bellatrix needed to do this. After dinner every one went into the sitting room for drinks.

"Everyone, I wanted to invite you all over to apologize to everyone for my outburst a couple of weeks ago, that was unnecessary and I embarrassed Hermione. Please accept my apologies." Bellatrix said looking at the room.

Everyone looked at her perplexed for a moment, but everyone nodded. Then Harry got to his feet.

"Bellatrix, I should be apologizing as well, I shouldn't have said what I did about my work, I know that it is still a touchy subject for most." Harry said.

Hermione got to her feet and looked at her lover.

"I am sorry Bella, the whole thing…it was my fault, if I hadn't asked Harry about his work…then you wouldn't have been so upset, Bella I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Hermione said her voice on the edge of tears.

Bellatrix scooped the younger witch in her arms and kissed her head.

"Mione it's alright, I need to learn how to control my temper." Bellatrix whispered.

After a few minutes, they broke apart, and saw the whole room grinning at them. A light blush covered Bellatrix's cheeks as she and Hermione sat back down. Ginny smirked at Hermione who blushed an even deeper shade of red. The rest of the night went by smoothly, everyone caught up in light conversation and the names that Ginny and Harry had come up with for their baby on the way.

"It's getting late Hermione; we are going to get going." Ron said getting to his feet, Parvati following him.

Hermione walked with him to the door way.

"Thank you for making it Ron, it means a lot that my friends can support me." Hermione said softly.

Ron grinned at her, and Parvati pulled her into a hug.

"As many times as you have helped Harry and I through all kinds of sodding stuff, it would be really unfair of us not to support you Hermione." He said smiling.

He pulled her into an embrace and left the house. She turned to see Luna and Neville standing behind her, Neville looked slightly awkward but Luna was smiling at her.

"Thank you for having us." Luna said embracing Hermione.

"Thank you for coming, I know that it meant a lot to Bella." Hermione said embracing Neville.

They both nodded and left. Harry and Ginny were last to leave, Ginny pulled Hermione aside while Bellatrix and Harry seemed to be in a discussion over something, and wouldn't notice. They walked out onto the back patio, Ginny closed the door behind them.

"Alright Mione, what is going on?" Ginny asked not missing a beat.

"I-I um…well…" Hermione stammered.

Ginny moved to stand in front of the older witch, looking at her concerned.

"I-it's just…just that…I feel like I am forcing all he physical contact with Bella…she is afraid to let me touch her. I don't know why…I feel like I am being a complete ass because of it. Bella doesn't s-say much about i-it but I-I feel that way." Hermione said her voice racked with sobs.

Ginny pulled Hermione into a tight embrace.

"She will come around Mione; you just have to give her some time, keep yourself in check, and not beat yourself up over it. I am sure that Bellatrix is having the same kind of internal battle because she knows that she isn't giving you what you want. Talk to her when the time is right, and see what you can do to fix things, or just to set some boundaries. "Ginny said.

Hermione laughed softly and pulled away.

"Ironic that I am the therapist and you're the one giving me the advice that I would give others." Hermione said wiping her tears away.

"Well, sometimes we have to have an outside perspective to help us look at something a little more clearly, even if we know how to handle the situation with others, we don't always know how to handle our own. I learned that while playing for the Holy Head Harpies." Ginny said laughing.

Hermione smiled.

"Thank you Gin, I don't know how I would have made it through all of this without you." Hermione said.

"You know you would do the same for me, just be patient Mione, talk to her, get everything out and go from there. It can't hurt to know." Ginny said hugging her friend once more.

"We should get back inside." Hermione said opening the door.

"There you are! I thought you had left without me." Harry said helping Ginny into her coat.

"I just needed to talk to Mione, everything is fine dear." Ginny said kissing his cheek.

"Thank you for coming, it really meant a lot to have everyone here." Bellatrix said moving to stand next to Hermione, taking her hand in hers.

"We enjoyed ourselves, thank you for having us. Give some thought about what I said Bellatrix, and owl me." Harry said opening the door.

"Will do Harry, thank you again." Bellatrix said as Harry and Ginny walked out the door, closing it behind them.

Hermione let go of Bellatrix's hand and walked into the kitchen to begin cleaning up the dinner plates. Bellatrix sighed, she knew that Hermione was still upset about earlier and went to stand behind Hermione, wrapping her arms around her torso, burying her face in Hermione's hair. Hermione relaxed slightly and turned off the tap.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Hermione said finally.

"Sorry for what my love?" Bellatrix asked hugging her tighter.

"For earlier…I just feel…I force too much, and I know that it is going to take some time for you to let me in….I guess I am just too young to understand that need for space that you have." Hermione said, her eyes close and breathing shallow.

Bellatrix turned Hermione around, placing her hands on Hermione's shoulders.

"You may instigate things more than I do, but Mione, I don't make it easy for you to keep all of that in check. I mislead you and I pull away because…well because I am scared. It will just take a little time for me to really allow you to fully commit to me in that way." Bellatrix said.

Hermione was shocked, she hadn't expected Bellatrix to be so forthcoming with all of this, then again she did treat her at one point and wasn't surprised that Bellatrix had really started to work on opening up.

"I am not going anywhere." Hermione said closing her eyes.

"I know you aren't." Bellatrix breathed her lips close to Hermione's.

Hermione's body began to tremble, she was fighting the urge to kiss the older witch, but Bellatrix made the choice for her. She moved forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips, pulling her close.

"Hermione, please don't beat yourself up over it, none of this is your fault, but we should start to slow down a little until I can figure something out, something that will work for both of us." Bellatrix said breaking the kiss.

Hermione nodded she felt slightly better, but not enough to where she was confident in her ability to keep her desire for Bellatrix in check.

"You look exhausted my love." Bellatrix said rubbing Hermione's cheek.

"I am." Hermione replied closing her eyes.

Bellatrix waved her wand and the dished began to wash and stack themselves.

"Let's go to bed shall we?" Bellatrix said taking Hermione's hand.

The two women walked upstairs and changed into pajama pants and tank tops. Bellatrix lay down on the bed, gesturing for Hermione to follow. Hermione lay down next to Bellatrix curling into her, Bellatrix wrapping her arm tight around the younger witch as she pulled the blankets over them. Hermione cried silently into Bellatrix's neck as they lay there in the dark. Bellatrix ran her fingers through the younger witch's hair.

"Mione, shhh it's alright, get some sleep and we will figure this out in the morning." Bellatrix said pulling Hermione's tighter.

Hermione seemed to relax, but she continued to cry until she fell asleep. Bellatrix lay there in the dark listening to Hermione's breathing. She knew some changes had to made, not just for Hermione, but for herself as well.

"Nox." She murmmered.

The lights in the room went out, and she pulled Hermione closer, falling asleep shortly after.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's note: Here it is…

Wide Awake: Chapter 26

Bellatrix awoke the next morning to an empty bed; it took her a few minutes to realize that Hermione had to work today. She sat up running her fingers through her thick, raven curls. The memory of last night flooded her thoughts. Hermione was deeply upset about what had happened between them, the pain was evident. Bellatrix shook her head. She knew that there was fault on both sides, as did Hermione, but that still didn't change the fact that she wasn't ready to really commit to Hermione in that way. She shook her head again, and walked into the bathroom, she smiled as she saw a note on the mirror in Hermione's handwriting.

_Bella,_

_Good morning my love, sorry I didn't wake you, you just looked so peaceful sleeping. I didn't want to disturb you. I had to go into the office today, but I will be back around 6. Maybe we could have dinner? Lock up if you leave please. See you later._

_Mione_

Bellatrix smiled at the note, and washed her face. She left the bathroom and got dressed.

"I need to go back home…I can't keep wearing the same outfit." Bellatrix said to herself.

Bellatrix picked up the clothes that she had worn the night before and placed them in the hamper, and left Hermione's flat.

Hermione sat in her office going over some notes when there was a knock at the door.

"Come In." She said writing down a few notes in her notebook.

The door opened and Andromeda walked in. Hermione looked up and smiled at the older witch who smiled back.

"It's good to see you Mrs. Tonks, how are you?" Hermione asked picking up her note pad and coming around her desk.

"It's good to see you as well, I am alright, yourself?" Andromeda asked sitting down in one of the chairs in front of Hermione's desk.

"I am quite well, thank you." Hermione said sitting down in her chair across from the older witch.

"I just…off the record…I hope that you and Bella are happy together…she is a piece of work…but aren't we all?" Andromeda said softly.

Hermione was taken aback by this…but she just smiled and opened her notebook.

"Thank you…yes she is a piece of work…but I think everything will be just fine." Hermione replied smiling.

Andromeda smiled and sat back in her chair.

"Here…I um did the assignment you gave me last time…" Andromeda said handing Hermione a letter.

Hermione took the letter and sat it in her lap on top of her note book. She took a few minutes to read what Andromeda had just handed her. The older witch eyed her nervously, and ran her fingers through her long, chestnut hair. After a few minutes Hermione took the letter and handed it back to Andromeda who took it with shaking hands.

"That was very good; you seemed to get out more than you anticipated." Hermione said smiling.

"Yes, well…it took a while to write, but I do feel better." Andromeda said relaxing a little.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Hermione asked.

"I do." Andromeda replied.

Hermione smiled, and Andromeda began to explain her letter.

Bellatrix walked around her empty manor running last night's events over in her head. The pain in Hermione's voice was evident, and Bellatrix knew that things were moving too slow, she wanted to move forward but she wasn't quite sure how. The dinner party proved successful, she had gotten out all that needed to be said to Hermione's friends. The last thing she wanted to do was alienate the younger witch from her friends, it wasn't fair to Hermione. Bellatrix shook her head and continued to pace, she eventually made it to her library. She prowled through the rows of books, running her long nails along their spines, she wasn't intending to read anything, but her compulsion to occupy her mind was too much. She picked out a book at random and sat down in one of the over large chairs in the middle of the room.

Hermione was feeling exhausted after her session with Andromeda. Everything the older witch had said was deep and heavy, but she could tell that Andromeda was beginning to heal on her own. She rubbed her face and glanced at her watch, it was almost time to call it day, but she was beginning to feel uneasy. She hadn't heard from Bellatrix all day.

"I hope she isn't upset…she seemed fine when we went to bed last night." Hermione thought to herself.

She shook her head and gathered up her notes and left her office.

Bellatrix woke with a start, rubbing her face. She hadn't intended to fall asleep, but she was just exhausted. She glanced at the clock, it was 5:30, and Hermione had said she would be home by 6. Bellatrix got up, rushed a shower and left for Hermione's.

Hermione arrived home a little past 6; Bellatrix wasn't anywhere to be found. The younger witch felt slightly disappointed, but she couldn't blame Bellatrix, last night had been a little intense. She sighed and jumped into the shower, if Bellatrix was going to come, she knew how to get into the house.

Bellatrix stopped at a street vendor selling flowers and bought Hermione some, she always thought it was a waste to do this, but she would just put a charm on them so they wouldn't wilt. She knocked on Hermione's door, but there was no answer. Bellatrix looked up at the windows, the bathroom light was on, a smile crept across her lips and she pulled out her wand.

Hermione was just standing in the shower allowing the scolding hot water to soothe her muscles. The tension had been building all day and she just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days. The young witch was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed someone walk into the bathroom, she jumped as she felt a pair of arms encircle her waist, and a pair of lips kiss her shoulder.

"Bella." Hermione breathed.

"Mione." Bellatrix said against her lover's shoulder.

"I didn't think that you would come." Hermione said finally.

She could feel Bellatrix tense behind her, and that made her heart ache slightly.

"I wasn't going to." Bellatrix said honestly "But I knew that I couldn't leave things the way that they were. Things will get better Mione, I promise…I just need some time…more time…" Bellatrix replied.

Hermione closed her eyes. Time, which was always the price. Time, more and more time. Patience is a virtue, but this was getting closer and closer to the younger witch's threshold. Deciding it wasn't worth another argument, and intense nightmares, Hermione nodded her head.

"Then time is what you shall have." Hermione said finally.

Bellatrix recognized the dismissal of the conversation. She picked up Hermione's body wash and began to lather up her hands. Hermione gasped softly as she felt Bellatrix begin to wash her back. This intimate gesture made tears spring to Hermione's eyes as Bellatrix washed up her legs, skipping over the place between her legs, she felt Bellatrix's fingers massage the shampoo into her hair.

"Rinse." Bellatrix said softly.

Hermione moved forward and rinsed off all the soap. Bellatrix began to massage the conditioner into her hair.

"You're good at this Bella." Hermione said softly.

"I used to wash Cissy's hair this way…many, many years ago…it was one of the few things…that we had to keep us sane." Bellatrix said.

Hermione didn't want to inquire any further, because she was well aware of the other activities that went on between the two, and she also didn't want to ruin this moment between them.

"Go out with me tonight?" Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

Hermione opened her eyes to see Bellatrix looking right at her, a light blush covered her cheeks as she moved back under the spray of hot water.

"I would love to Bella." Hermione replied smiling.

Bellatrix gave her lover a small smile before stepping out of the shower, Hermione followed, wrapping a towel around her body.

"Where would you like to go? Are you hungry? Or we could just go for a walk." Bellatrix asked drying her body.

Hermione hung up her towel, and walked out into her bedroom.

"I am kind of hungry; we could go to a café or something close to here." Hermione replied pulling out a bra and underwear from her dresser.

Bellatrix put her clothes back on and sat on the edge of Hermione's bed, watching as the younger witch dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt.

"We aren't going anywhere fancy are we?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix smiled.

"What you're wearing is wonderful darling." Bellatrix replied.

Hermione blushed and put on her shoes.

"How about…I take you to a place…and you try some real Muggle food…" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, Hermione laughed softly.

"Oh come on! It will be fun Bella! Elegant and fancy dinner is boring sometimes, we need to go out and eat greasy, unhealthy shit for once." Hermione said coming to stand right in front of Bellatrix.

"Oh dear…such a dirty mouth you have." Bellatrix said smiling.

Hermione grinned and held out her hand, Bellatrix took it and the two women walked down the stairs and put on their coats.

TBC...


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: Here it is….

Wide Awake: Chapter 27

"Will I be able to get some tea at this place?" Bellatrix asked as they walked down the street hand in hand.

"You can get anything to drink there I believe…but I would avoid any alcohol…" Hermione replied.

"Yes…I agree." Bellatrix replied.

"I used to come here as a kid with my dad. We would have a father daughter date once a week and we would always come here." Hermione said opening the door for Bellatrix.

The restaurant was small and cozy and dimly lit, Hermione led them over to a table in the corner. The waiter came over soon after and took their drink orders. Bellatrix looked around the place feeling slightly uncomfortable, this was only the second completely Muggle establishment she had been in with the younger witch.

"Bella it's alright." Hermione said softly, giving her lover a reassuring smile.

Bellatrix returned her smile weakly, at that moment the waiter returned with their drink orders. Bellatrix sipped her tea appreciatively watching her lover.

"How did your parents react when they found out that you were a witch?" Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

The café was empty, so no one could really overhear their conversation; Bellatrix spoke low and directly towards Hermione.

"I um…they were a little confused, and it took them a while to come around. Professor McGonagall came to talk to them and explain." Hermione replied a little sadly.

She wasn't sure why Bellatrix was asking all of this, but since Bellatrix was a Pureblood, she didn't understand the Muggle immersion into the Wizarding World. Bellatrix eyed her lover curiously, Hermione never talked about her parents, which was making the older witch curious.

"Did you ever take Muggle Studies?" Hermione asked changing the subject quickly.

"I did, but I never paid much attention…my priorities back then…weren't directed on my studies, though I did manage a few awards." Bellatrix replied awkwardly, realizing that Hermione didn't want to talk about her parents anymore.

"I know…I um…" Hermione started but was caught off guard by the surprised look from Bellatrix.

Hermione's cheeks turned deep crimson.

"I um…well I did some research on you…" Hermione said.

Bellatrix smirked and shook her head in amazement.

"Research, really? What did all this research tell you about me?" Bellatrix asked.

Hermione could tell by her tone that she was impressed and a little afraid of what might have been said about her, but Hermione gave her a reassuring smile.

"Well…I read about all the bad stuff…then I went into the good stuff. Bella I didn't know that you played Quidditch." Hermione replied.

Bellatrix laughed softly, it all seemed a lifetime ago.

"I did, so did Andromeda and Cissy, though our mother didn't approve, our father was very enthusiastic about it." Bellatrix said sipping her tea.

The waiter returned to refill Bellatrix's tea and take their orders.

"I will have whatever she is having." Bellatrix said not taking her gaze away from Hermione's.

Hermione blushed and placed her order, they were alone again. Hermione ran her fingers through her hair, and sipped on her cocoa.

"Did you play?" Bellatrix asked.

"I did not; Harry, Ron and Ginny did though." Hermione replied.

"You didn't strike me as the Quidditch type…usually those who play Quidditch let it get to their heads, though my sisters and I didn't, others did." Bellatrix said.

"Ginny didn't let it get to her, though she did have her moments. Harry and Ron, they didn't either, well Ron sort of did." Hermione explained.

Bellatrix smiled and sipped her tea.

"I never…pegged you as the type Bella…and certainly not Narcissa." Hermione said.

Bellatrix laughed softly, and set her tea back down on the table, their food arrived shortly after. Bellatrix eyed the plate with complete uncertainty; Hermione smiled and picked up her burger.

"Try it Bella." Hermione said taking a large bite.

Bellatrix picked up her burger, looking around to make sure that it was only them in the café before sinking her teeth into it. Hermione eyed her curiously picking up a fry and eating it, before taking another bite of her burger.

"Well…?" Hermione asked.

Bellatrix didn't answer right away; she just sat there looking at the food on her plate. She grinned up at the younger witch who beamed back at her.

"It's amazing!" Bellatrix exclaimed.

Bellatrix couldn't believe that she was actually sitting with Hermione in a Muggle restaurant, eating greasy Muggle food, and actually enjoying it. She smiled wide at Hermione and finished the rest of her food.

"Enjoyed that did you?" Hermione asked finishing her last bite.

"I did….Hermione this was amazing." Bellatrix replied calling the waiter over.

He brought her the check and walked back over to the register.

"Bella…let me get this one?" Hermione asked softly.

Bellatrix stopped reading over the receipt and looked at her lover. She shifted uncomfortably, but eventually handed Hermione the check. Hermione took the check and she and Bella walked up to the waiter. She handed him the check along with her debit card. The waiter swiped to card and then handed it back Hermione. Bellatrix eyed it curiously, but kept in her question until they were out on the street again.

"Mione…what was that?" Bellatrix asked as they started to walk down the street.

Hermione laughed softly, buttoning her coat higher.

"It's a card that holds money on it…sometimes it is easier to have that then to have paper money." Hermione replied.

"Is it tied to Gringotts? Does your money come out of Gringotts?" Bellatrix asked.

"My Wizard money does…but the Muggle money….it's the money that my parents…" Hermione stopped.

The memory of her parents was still sensitive. She hadn't gone to Australia yet to bring them home. Bellatrix stopped walking and took Hermione's hand in hers, squeezing lightly.

"I understand Mione…I'm sorry." Bellatrix said.

"No, don't be sorry Bella, you're curious, and I don't mind. But I'm not…ready to talk about them yet Bella." Hermione replied giving her lover a reassuring smile.

Bellatrix smiled back, and leaned in, planting a soft kiss on Hermione's lips. The younger witch moaned and pulled Bellatrix closer, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"Mmm Bella…" Hermione moaned.

Bellatrix smiled against her lips, pulling her closer.

"I want to take you somewhere." Bellatrix whispered against Hermione's lips.

"I'm yours." Hermione replied.

Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Hermione tighter, making sure that no one was around before turning on the spot.

TBC….


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: Still applies.

Author's Note: I know…It has been a long while…

Wide Awake: Chapter 28

Hermione's feet touched solid ground, it took her a few moments to take in her surroundings once her eyes opened and the spinning had stopped. They were standing in what appeared to be a garden, with lush green bushes, and large, very old looking trees. Bellatrix watched the younger witch apprehensively, she was sure it was too soon to bring her here, but she had to make up the time that she had lost with her lover…and this place…well it just seemed like the right place to take her.

"What do you think?" Bellatrix asked breaking the silence.

"It's…oh Bella…it's breathtaking…where are we exactly?" Hermione replied breathlessly.

Bellatrix suppressed a small smile as she watched her lover's expression more closely. Hermione was so enthralled by her surroundings, it was almost…too picture perfect.

"My personal gardens…" Bellatrix replied.

Hermione whipped around in shock, Bellatrix raised her eyebrows and smiled. Then Hermione was on her, kissing her deeply and passionately.

"God Bella…I thought…this isn't moving too fast…bringing me here?" Hermione asked breaking the kiss looking at her lover.

Bellatrix leaned in, kissing Hermione's lips again.

"It's time Hermione…I…need to make things right…I haven't…been treating you the way that you deserve." Bellatrix said quietly.

Hermione brushed a raven curl out of Bellatrix's face, and cupped her cheek gently.

"Bella…I haven't exactly been the perfect girlfriend either…maybe I am too young to understand, or maybe this…really moved too fast, but Bella…I need to realize that you don't move at my pace…and that I need to be more patient. " Hermione started, but Bellatrix placed a finger over her lips.

"Hush Mione." Bellatrix said quietly.

Hermione fell silent and kissed the finger that was against her lips.

"We will get through this, one day at a time." Bellatrix said kissing Hermione's forehead.

Bellatrix offered Hermione her arm.

"Shall we?" Bellatrix asked.

Hermione took her arm, laying her head against the older woman's shoulder as they walked. It felt surreal…being in here with Bellatrix. It was so quiet…so pristine.

"Cissy has a garden similar to this…she always liked being outside with the flowers…when we were children…when things got rough…I could always find her in the rose bed, laying there, looking up at the sky. She just looked so…far away…like she was wishing that she was somewhere else." Bellatrix said breaking the silence.

"I can…imagine…I mean…from what you have told me…I would want to be somewhere else too…you know…when you were…torturing me…I imagined I was somewhere else. That you weren't really…hurting me." Hermione said, her voice trailed off, distant and numb.

They had stopped walking.

"Mione…I…I can never apologize enough…or say anything to make it better." Bellatrix started but Hermione cut her off.

"Let's not…let's not go there Bella…please…I am passed all of that now. And it is time that you move past it too." Hermione said a little harsher than she intended.

Bellatrix's face fell; she closed her eyes, breathing deep. Hermione closed her eyes as well, in the distance she could hear water streaming and the faint sounds of…horses….

"You have horses?" Hermione asked breaking the silence.

"I do, I have two." Bellatrix replied running her fingers through her unruly curls "I had planned to take you down there…but we uh got sidetracked." She added looking up at the sky.

It was going to start snowing soon.

Bellatrix offered her arm to Hermione once again, but this time Hermione did not take it. She started walking, hoping that she was moving in the right direction. Bellatrix wiped her eyes before Hermione turned around to see if she was following.

"Bella…are you coming? I don't know the way." Hermione asked looking back at her lover.

"Right, keep walking, we'll be there soon enough." Bellatrix replied, her voice thick with emotion.

She brushed passed Hermione feeling slightly hurt by the rejection, but she wasn't going to allow this day to go to shit. So much of their relationship had been give and take, more give than take, at least on Hermione's part. Bellatrix sighed, it would be time soon…she would be ready soon.

"When we arrive at the stables…do not be alarmed at what you see." Bellatrix said.

Hermione nodded, and remained silent as she fell into step next to Bellatrix. Tentatively, she reached out her hand and laced their fingers together. Bellatrix gently squeezed her hand and picked up the pace. They reached a very large barn, and Hermione could hear very heavy foot falls coming from inside the structure.

"Tread softly." Bellatrix said softly, her hand on the door of the barn.

Hermione nodded and Bellatrix pulled open the heavy oak door.

"Ladies first." Bellatrix said.

Hermione walked inside and stopped dead in her tracks, she turned around to look at Bellatrix, her eyes wide and full of apprehension.

"They won't hurt you Mione. They may be large, but they are not aggressive." Bellatrix said, in a tone that she hoped was compassionate.

"But how…Bella…these are…Abraxan…horses…" Hermione said moving closer to the larger of the two.

Bellatrix smiled and followed Hermione as she moved closer.

"I take it; you're familiar with this breed?" Bellatrix asked stretching out her hand to stroke the snout of the horse before her.

Hermione nodded.

"I have never seen…one so large…the Abraxans at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic…are not this large…nor are they this color." Hermione said stepping back a little.

She was starting to feel nervous about these horses…Bellatrix did not know that she was afraid of flying.

"These are a special set of Abraxans. My family has been breeding these for centuries, these two…are the only two left in this line, and there hasn't been a foal born in almost thirty years." Bellatrix explained.

"Oh god…why?" Hermione asked surprised.

"I suspect because there hasn't been anyone competent enough to come and look after them properly…but now what I have been able to tend to them…I can see that…their drive has gone up. There very well could be a foal or two born very soon. "Bellatrix replied stroking the mare's neck.

Hermione was in awe of Bellatrix in this moment; the way that she was around these two horses only intensified her admiration of her lover.

"Would you like to go for a ride?" Bellatrix asked.

Hermione tensed slightly, this did not go unnoticed by Bellatrix who smiled. She began to saddle up the large horse. As she moved down to adjust the stirrups he spread his wings impressively, making the younger witch jump.

"What's…w-what's his name Bella?" Hermione asked shakily.

Bellatrix tightened the last strap and adjusted the bridle and reigns, stroking his muzzle.

"This stallion is Sleipnir." She replied.

"From Norse mythology…" Hermione whispered.

Bellatrix smiled. Hermione really was a very in tuned, very intelligent woman.

"Not many people know that my love…you really are something, aren't you kitten?" Bellatrix asked moving away from the midnight black stallion.

"W-well I just…I-I read a lot and…" Hermione stammered but was quickly cut off by the feel of Bellatrix's lips upon hers.

She moaned softly, leaning into the kiss. Bellatrix put her hands on Hermione's hips and pulled her closer, but pulled away slowly, feeling that this was getting really intense too fast. She did not want to jump that quickly back into physical intimacy just yet or work up Hermione so much that it turned into a situation where she would not allow the younger witch to reciprocate.

"They require forceful handling to those they do not trust…I remember when I was a child…I would watch my father handle these horses with ease…and I thought if he could do it, so could I. So ever since that day…he would allow me to come with him to care for the horses. He…he never trusted anyone to tend to them besides himself. "Bellatrix said trying to brush over that semi awkward moment.

Hermione adjusted her coat, shivering slightly.

"Bella…I…there is something I need to tell you." Hermione said.

"I know, you're afraid of flying." Bellatrix said smiling.

Hermione blushed profusely, and nodded.

"That is okay kitten; we will keep ourselves firmly on the ground for now." Bellatrix said.

Hermione smiled and moved towards the large stallion, touching his muzzle. He closed his eyes and relaxed completely.

"Wow…" Bellatrix whispered.

"Wh-what?" Hermione asked worried, moving away from the horse.

"Nothing…I just…well I have never seen him so…calm and relaxed before…" Bellatrix said moving to stand next to Hermione.

Hermione said nothing, but continued to stroke his muzzle.

"I think…I am ready." Hermione whispered quietly.

Bellatrix helped Hermione mount the large stallion, and then climbed o behind her. Hermione looked confused as the older witch climbed on behind her. She handed Hermione the reigns; Hermione took them in her shaking hands and took a deep breath.

"Shh Mione, it's alright, I'm right here. He trusts you, you will be fine." Bellatrix whispered in her ear softly.

Hermione nodded, and took a deep breath. Bellatrix whispered something in French and the horse started to trot out of the stables.

It felt nice…this side of Bellatrix. Hermione had learned more about Bellatrix in these few hours than she had in the past couple of months. She felt closer to the older witch, and it was fascinating to learn about her lover's childhood. To know that she had, had that experience and that some of it at least was pleasant.

"You're doing beautifully kitten, keep him at a steady pace." Bellatrix coached softly.

Hermione eased her grip on the reigns, and the horse slowed slightly, and tucked his wings closer to his body, shielding their legs from the cold. Then it dawned on Hermione…Bellatrix wasn't riding side saddle.

"Bella…you don't ride side saddle?" Hermione asked.

She felt Bellatrix laugh against her neck.

"No love, I am not as uptight and proper as my baby sister." Bellatrix replied.

She wrapped her arms around Hermione's waist and rested her forehead against her shoulder blades, inhaling her scent deeply. Hermione closed her eyes, trusting Sleipnir to keep them on a steady path. The feel and sway of Bellatrix's body against hers was making her body hot, despite the cold, and the subtle burning between her legs was only getting worse as the stallion picked up his pace. She moaned quietly, panting heavily.

"Mione…" Bellatrix whispered in her ear.

"Bella…" Hermione rasped back.

"I can…take care of your…burn if you need me too…" Bellatrix suggested.

The reluctant tone of her voice suggested to Hermione that she would be the only one being touched. This feeling didn't sit well with the younger witch, who shook her head and turned the stallion around without a second thought. She could feel Bellatrix sigh heavily against her back as they made their way back to the stables.

"Patient…I need to be patient." Hermione thought to herself as she walked Sleipnir back into the stables.

TBC…


End file.
